Thursday, May 3, 2012

Preparations in a Sunhat

I am getting ready to leave for our Supah Cool Sista Trip tomorrow at 6:45 am SHARP.  I have to pack, pluck my eyebrows, paint my toe nails, grocery shop, and shave - all before tomorrow.  You'd think this would be easily accomplished, but it's not when you've got Facebook and Blogger open on your computer.  The allure of the almighty world wide web is strong...

Kind of had a freak out.  I went to buy another swimsuit, because I'll be in one all weekend, and figured I should try to find something cute, and that I felt like flattered me and one I hoped I look semi-decent in, and well, I kinda flipped.  I think the swimsuit just put me over the edge.


The only swimsuits I own are teensy tinsy designer suits that no longer fit the fiercely me big(ger) girl size that I am now.  So, I had to try on several suits.  And I had to look at my thighs, and my butt.  And my stomach.  And I can no longer wear bikinis, because of my PEG tube hole scar thingy.  It is big and baaaad and gross.  My stomach is all messed up.  It used to be so purty, and now it just looks, well, it looks like it's been through some sh*t.  So that got me down too.  And then once the anxiety set in, it was easy for me to kind of decide to just up and freak out about EVERYTHING.  Which is what I did.  And then I promptly called Brandon from the Target parking lot, crying.

He of course helped me feel better - he always does.  And then I went into Target and got pissy at one of the innocent sales associates, because they didn't have peanut butter Oreos.  Not her fault, but STILL.  I've got to be mad at someone!

And then I bought this hat that you see in these pictures.  This SUNHAT.  I've never before owned one, because me + sun + getting tan = super important and of the utmost gloriousness.  (Or something.)  But then I recently heard about this thing...you know...and it's called SKIN CANCER, and I hear I should be caring about it.  Or rather, taking care to make sure I DON'T get it.  And then there's my age.  I'm 27 going on 56.  I have WRINKLES around my mouth that I've never before had.  Maybe the sun did this to me!  So I am going to wear my goofy sunhat that I feel rather odd in, and let the sun bake every part of me but my tender, oh so tender face.  Those wrinkles have to got to stay pasty white!


Anyway.  A new suit and sunhat later, I am back, and trying to get Mila to nap, and procrastinating my trip preparation with another blog.  And it gets worse, too, because I'm cooking up ANOTHER blog that I'll pry post before the day is over.  Obsessed much?  Yes, I think so!  Oh, and don't worry, I will still continue to blog my Hungry for Change posts every day - I'm bringing my laptop with me on the trip, because surviving without the web is not possible.  Kind of like frolicking in the desert without any water, if you get me.  So I'll be around!

Anyway, wish me luck wearing a bathing suit all weekend.  Kinda stressing about it, just because I feel like all my sisters are so tall and skinny and beautiful, even in bathing suits, and then there's ME.  I'll be the one hiding behind my sunhat, with big sunglasses on, and the Stephen King book.  But feel free to think I'm one of my (prettier) sisters.  That works too!  (Man, I know I don't normally sound so insecure.  But bathing suit shopping will do that to a girl!)

And, I wanted to post this collage my beautiful sister Tawny made, of past sister trips.  Just throwing out a disclaimer that I am LARGE AND PREGNANT in most of these, so eeeeech, be gentle in your judgements!

8 comments:

Toby said...

Hi Brie,

I know I almost never comment but I still read your blog religiously. I just wanted to tell you that swimsuit shopping makes me cry, too, and most of my other (non-ED-suffering) friends. It just sucks.

Also? Your last couple of posts are so heartening. You are Doing It.

-t.

Heather Lindquist said...

I hear ya on swimsuit shopping. It's horrible, especially with those huge, bright fluorescent lights that seem to expose every single wobbly part. You're braver than me, that's for sure! I have yet to go on that glorious shopping adventure since I've been recovered!

Have a fun trip! And I think the sun hat is GREAT! : )

brie said...

thank you, heather and toby! good to know that i am not alone.

Liz said...

I feel the same way about my sisters. I'm sorry you had a swimsuit freak out, wearing so little can be so hard. But your bod is beautiful. Have a super fun times with your sisters.

lisalisa said...

good choice with the sun hat. My mom has stage 4 melanoma and I slather the sunscreen on me and bolth of my daughters.
A common misconception is that being tan protects you from sun damage. NOT the case. A suntan IS skin damage!!!!
Ok, sorry to be preachy. Its just a subject that is close to my heart :).

brie said...

wow, lisa, i'm so sorry about your mom. :( but i honestly didn't know that a sun tan was considered sun damage - thanks for sharing - seriously!! i know i need to be more careful about that. i have olive skin, so i'm pretty dark anyway, so i tan super easily, but i do need to be more wary.

Femina Scribens said...

I have to confess to buying swimsuits online and exchanging/returning what I don't like. Just can't do it in a store. So go you for enduring a ritual that, I'm pretty sure, just about all women dread.

Amanda P said...

This is why I'm glad I'm an only daughter. And why I don't do much swimming...