Monday, May 14, 2012

My Story

I post this with a little trepidation.

Because.

Well, because no one likes to be shot down.  And so I have bided my time with this line of thinking, keeping my thoughts from you.  But I think it's time to ask you guys a couple of things.  So buckle up, and let's go:

I am a writer.  I was born to be one; I can feel it in my bones and in every beat of my heart.  Sounds terribly sappy and dramatic, but I mean it.  One of the clearest memories I have is as a five year old, sitting in my dad's massive desk chair, propping myself up, and writing poems in my erratic handwriting with horribly spelled words and quirky rhymes.  And I'd declare to myself, "I WANT TO BE A WRITER WHEN I GROW UP!!!"  And I knew it would happen, in the simple and childish way you know things will happen, because your dreams have not yet been squelched with the harsh and bitter realities of growing up, and everything that entails.

So yes, now that I'm "grown up," being a writer isn't as easy or as romantic as I thought it would be.  I love my blog, it is my real and true passion, but it doesn't pay the bills.  My writing has changed me, made me a better person, and I hope some of you too, but I want more.

And so, I am going to self-publish a book.  The contents are still at this point going to remain a mystery to all of you, but I can tell you that it will be about eating disorder recovery, but it'll be funny as hell, and I hope maybe a little inspiring, too.

But you want to know what I'm afraid of?  I'm afraid no one is going to buy my book or want to read it.  That no one will be interested in what I have to say.  It's kind of like...you throw yourself a lavish birthday party, with balloons and streamers and cake and red punch, and you wait and you wait, and no one comes.  No one cares about you or your stupid birthday after all.  And your hopes are dashed.  And you are left feeling alone, and bewildered, wondering why no one wanted to celebrate with you.  And you feel insecure and humiliated.

That's what it would be like for me, if I put my very soul into writing this book, and no one cared.  I'm not looking to become the next Great American Author, but, dammit, I want my story heard

I guess the question is, would any of you be willing to listen?

44 comments:

Liz said...

Heck Yes! I want to read your story. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love reading your blog. I love the way you write and use words to express your feelings. (sorry if that sounds like a crazy fan) What I mean to say is that I think you are a gifted, talented writer and if your book is as insightful and funny as your blog then your book will be awesome.

Lou said...

YES!

Lou said...

YES!

Kaylee said...

Hey Brie - I think it will take people about 0.2 seconds after picking up your book to realize that you are a fantastic writer and have so much to say. For what it's worth, I'll pre-order that book as soon as it's available!

Michelle said...

I would absolutely love to read it! I think it would be entertaining and enlightening and emotional.

CH said...

of course :)

alriggells said...

I would love to read it. I have always wanted to.

Kerri said...

I have been waiting for your book for ages, so of course I will be reading it. :)

Fight 4 Ur Lyfe said...

Brie!!!---

Girl. I am sooo proud of you. Don't stress what others think. You are you. This amazing, wonderful gal, that I feel honored to know (seriously!).

Let what happens with you book, happen. And what I truthfuly think will happen- is that the book will show to you that you are far more talented and amazing at writing than you could have ever dreamed. You will find out that your story will touch so many others, if people haven't been touched by the amazingness of your blog, already.

I can think of at least 25-50 people who would buy your book in a heartbeat.

You will do great. Just keep on beleiving in yourself.

P.S. Will you message me your number? I lost it.

Love your face,

--L

jperry said...

I would read it in a heartbeat. As in, I would drop whatever good book I am reading at the time, and start reading yours. The little bit I know of your story is that it is one of a painful yet beautiful struggle and one of an inspirational outcome. You have such a refreshing perspective and such a crazy, hilarious sense of humor. I want to read more about your story and more from your perspective. I am sure, upon reading it, I would have a many people in my life to recommend it to as well. Of course, do it for you, but I am sure many others would benefit from your writing. So, do it, Brie! Be fearless, and lived the life you have imagined.

jperry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fight 4 Ur Lyfe said...

P.S. I am personally confident enough in your book, that I am personally willing to "slut" it around (aka, market it) to all I know... Because whatever you write will be stellar!


Damn.... I should become a motivational speaker. :)

bri said...

Most definitely!!!! U are an amazingly entertaining and thought provoking writer! Love you!!!

Katie said...

I would love to read your book! And yes you are a naturally born writer!

Laura said...

YES YES AND MORE YESES!

Angela and Brett said...

I would by a copy for myself and everyone I know and then brag about how I'm married to this talented writers twin

Kendra said...

I would absolutely read your book!!!! I love your blog, and if your book is as funny and inspiring as your blog, it will be fantastic!

Gretchen said...

Count me in!!

Just That ZombieGrrl said...

I want to read it!!!

Alie said...

I love your writing! I would definitely love to read it! I'm excited for you that you're going for it!

Frustrated Unemployed Actress said...

Of course I would read it!

Adam and Cassie said...

Most Definitely :)

Lindsay said...

So I remember a year (or two?) back when you shared some portions of a story you'd been working on... and I loved it... and then it sort of went away for a while. I've secretly been hoping this whole time that someday I'd get to read more. I'd buy your book in a HEARTBEAT... not just because your blog is totally awesome and all that, but I think there are parts of you and your story that live in all of us.

So the answer is, Heck. Yes.

April said...

Of course I'd buy a copy!

April said...

Of course!! Can't wait :)

Allison said...

I would totally read it! I think that there are so many people who are ignorant about ED and recovery but would like to better understand it. And your writing style I think would be perfect for it. It is obviously a weighty subject that I could maybe make some people uncomfortable, but with all your sassy jokes in there, it would balance it out perfectly. Power to ya, Brie!!

Sarah Hope said...

Yes. Absolutely. Cannot wait to read it. Maybe I'll do a book club about it, make it required reading for my students, have it turned into a play, or simple stand on a street corner and recite it.

I'm certain it'll be awesome.

ohgina said...

Oh my gosh, yes Yes YES. Are you kidding, I LOVE your writing and I can't WAIT to read your book. I mean, I could get a little creeper-ish and ask for a signed copy or something.

tess said...

there are sooooo many people silently struggling with eating disorders who feel like there is no hope. you've been through a lot and I'm tons of people would be eager to hear what you have to say.

your writing keeps inspiring me and putting a smile on my face. I love reading your blog entries, they always stick around in my head and you are truly a gifted writer! =)

po said...

I would definitely read it.

Something I have been told many many times in writing courses is that writers have to learn to accept that they can put everything they have into something and no one may read it, it has to be for ourselves that we do this. We have to become hard like iron.

But in your case, there are quite a few willing readers out there already!

Telstaar said...

I'd absolutely love to read anything you write. I might not comment all that much at the moment, but I read all your blogs and sometimes when I'm a bit down or just want something that makes me laugh, I go back and read some of your posts that I know make me laugh or inspire me. You're already an amazing writer and I know that will only be that much more in a book that you've poured your heart and soul into :). I'd happily pay to read it and I already know I'd happily show it to others and get them to read it too.

xo

Maeve said...

I will definitely read it!!! I love reading your blog and would love to read your book!

Can I make one suggestion for self-publishing if it's possible? E-book!!! Real paper books are awesome and give a tremendous sense of accomplishment, but with blog readers around the world I bet you could sell copies super quickly if you had an e-book option :)

miss quinnn said...

I would whole heartedly read anything words that spill from your brain

miss quinnn said...

I would absolutely read anything you thought was worth putting on paper

po said...

Hey Brie was thinking, if you like
Stephen King, you should read his biography On Writing. He combines his biography with tips on writing,and it is one of the most prescribed books for writing courses, it is really good. Also he documents really well how he dealt with constant rejection and turned it into a challenge rather than a defeat.

IJustDontKnow said...

Phew! I've been hoping you'd go for it and get this book into my hands! But I didn't want to be all "write your story so I can read it!" You know, selfish and demanding. And now that you've put it out there you HAVE to follow through! :D I really can't find the right words to express what reading your book would mean to me. I've never "known" someone who does the hard work of actual recovery. And is brutally honest about it - no sugar-coating it. I've read plenty of books from recovered people but the daily struggle was rarely portrayed. I was so sad when you had to stop posting excerpts, but I completely understand why.

Please share your story! And soon! :)

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

I'm a writer too - always have been since childhood, just like you were saying - so I know too well that it doesn't pay the bills. Not because writers with stories out there aren't GOOD but because it's a very competitive market and one has to be "discovered" much in the same way a singer or an actor has to be. Doesn't mean people aren't FANTASTIC singers if they aren't famous - just means they don't have an agent. Ya know? So much of the "getting noticed" is luck, which is so terribly unfortunate. And do you know how much money and TIME it takes to devote to finding and securing an agent?! But it's most of the time sooooo necessary because most places won't accept unsolicited manuscripts. Ah see...I know all this from personal experience. Sigh. It's a hard road and I fully plan on being a renowned writer someday, but first I need to pay bills and I have no free time to get things together and just spend it doing alllllllll the necessary publishing stuff. Anyway - I babble along like this to say that you are engaging and publicity doesn't make a good writer. So if you want to write, write. And I know that's what you've BEEN doing. You're already a writer, because I use the same logic for myself. If you want to share, then share. Sales are sales, but getting your story out there is what's important. I'm sure people will read it with interest and if your goal is to have people read it, not to pay bills, then you'll be content in your heart because I know it will be read and enjoyed - especially if it captures your sense of humor. I would read it. :-)

Tylaine said...

Absolutely! I'd suggest it for my book club and I know they'd all love to read it!

brie said...

thank you all, THANK YOU, for your comments and support with this project. more to come from me soon. :)

Sarah @ Bearing, Eating, Being said...

I would buy it and read it--and I'm cheap! I think it would be THAT fabulous!!!!

Cammy said...

I'm waaay late because today is the first time I've had a chance to catch up on blogs since I left for my trip, but I vote an emphatic yes, I would totally buy/read your book and will very much look forward to doing so. ;)

Amanda said...

I love the authenticity that you write with and really value it and respect you for it. I am downright excited about you writing a book that I could get my hands on and pour through the pages. I hope you do it - I would be one of your first readers and I can't wait!! Go for it!!!!

Amanda said...

I love the authenticity that you write with and really value it and respect you for it. I am downright excited about you writing a book that I could get my hands on and pour through the pages. I hope you do it - I would be one of your first readers and I can't wait!! Go for it!!!!

Missy said...

Willing wouldn't be the word.

Eager...yeah. That's more like it. I am EAGER to hear it.