Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Day #8 - A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

A picture is worth a thousand words...

I chose two pictures for my post today - one picture that to me, encompasses my eating disorder, and a second picture, that symbolizes my recovery.

When I was entrenched in the eating disorder, I frequently would say to myself, "I am an island."  And that, to me, meant that I didn't need anybody.  I didn't need anybody to touch me or hug me or help me.  I didn't need anybody to care.  And, I DID need these things.  But, somehow, needing these things hurt too much, and so I tried to convince myself that I didn't need anybody or anything.  No food.  No love.  Nothing.

I was alone.  And it was hell.

I think this photo captures how I felt.  Alone.  No place to go.  Stuck.  No one to help me off my island and to safety and comfort. 

Conversely, this picture so perfectly represents recovery to me:


The ties that bind her are free.  The storm is clearing, and a rainbow is coming out.   I can imagine that she must feel so exhilerated and liberated.  With my recovery, that is really and truly how I feel now.  These ropes that used to bind me, of pain and hatred and starvation and fear...they're gone.  It feels so beautiful, so free.