“Are you having a panic attack?”
And I said
“YES.”
And he said,
“Do you need five minutes?”
And I said
“YES.”
And then I don’t remember a whole lot more, but my dear friend Teffie who stayed with me the ENTIRE time to make sure I stayed alive, said that I kept telling the dentist that he was “Sooooo nice, thank you for being soooooo nice, I was sooooooo scared but you’re like totally soooooo nice.”
So apparently the guy is nice.
I wouldn’t know.
Because I don’t remember.
I was really high.
However I’m kinda like BALLS because I guess I got like a temporary crown molding and am supposed to go back in three weeks for the permanent one (yeah gonna repress that appointment too) but yesterday when I was in group therapy ONE OF THE FAKE CROWN THINGIES CAME OFF IN MY MOUTH. And I didn’t want to like spit it in my hand in front of everyone so I made an excuse to go to the garbage can (quick grab a tissue and pretend to wipe a fake tear!) and then acted like I needed to throw it away so I could go SPIT OUT THE TOOTH THING in the garbage. So I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DENTIST really really soon and I’m like great kick me while I'm down why dontcha.
Speaking of kicking me while I’m down my tube is totally buggin’. I have like a sore on my nose from it and my sinuses and allergies are in a really unhappy, weird place right now and I’m getting rashies on my face and it keeps trying to come out and every morning I try to like shove it back in and everyday is like a Let’s Stare at Brie Convention and it’s just getting old. And then today in therapy W told me that at the rate I was going with weight gain, I was scheduled to have the tube for oh you know only about another year. Seriously she literally said that. She thinks she's so funny.
Speaking of the tube (I guess, man I’m going everywhere) yesterday I was talking to this really NICE and POLITE and GENUINE lady on the phone about sending me more supplies, and she just kept telling me I was so special and she hoped I was feeling GREAT and then she said M (who is my regular case manager) was showing her a picture of me and they both agree I’m beautiful.
Can we hold the phone for a minute? How have these people procured a photo of me? Home health does not regularly come to my house and I have never given them photo ops, I swear. My blog? The internet? M’s creepy voyeur boyfriend? I mean honestly. I feel dirty.
Why must these things happen to me? (kickmewhilei'mdownyesyeskickherwhileshe'sdown!)
6 comments:
I say... hm. It must be that everyone else wants the plumbin' & they can't help but envy you for yours, your dentist is madly in love with you, for why else would he put in such a crap crown? Aaaaaand obviously everyone else is amorous, too. So you have alot of not-so-secret admirers, be proud of whatcha got! :) PS: Your kittie is gorgeous. I'd be smitten, too.
Well he does sound like a very nice dentist- especially giving you a few to deal with the panic. I'm sorry you have to go back though, but at least you know you handled it this time and can do it again. I know with my social anxiety things are impossible the first time, but if I do them a few times it just gets easier, until I can at least get through without a freak out, even if I cant enjoy it.
I am really sorry to hear about the so unfunny 'jokes' about you needing your tube for a year. I don't get why they say you will need it for so long.. did you drop that much? because you were doing ok-ish before weren't you or they wouldn't have removed it. So why wait until you were so low you'd have such a hard time getting to where they want you to be (or at least to the point you can go tube-less)? Sorry, I have never had a tube and I just don't get it. I mean, yeah you need to be at a safe weight, but a year of tubeage??
well, k, good things is that she *was* joking about having the tube for a year. my weight got extremely low after kendall died, and since then, i've had a pretty hard time putting weight on...
sigh...
Im glad your dentist experience turned out okay. And hey, getting legally high is always fun, eh?
I'm sorry about the tube. I can't even imagine how bothered I would feel over the stares.
You are a pretty lady and I wish you health and tube-free living!
On the plus side, if it's taking you this long to gain weight even with the tube...at least your know your metabolism is still working! [I think mine died. I have to resurrect.]
Ah okay, I thought you were serious! Either way, I mean, it is pretty typical for the average person to lose weight after something like that, but for you- well, not such a good idea obviously. I won't lie- you could see it just in your pictures that you weren't doing so hot (and no, I don't mean you looked bad, just tired and not well) Anyway, keep doing what you need to so you can ditch Larry! The nasty word "healthy" aside, you know you will be happier when you get to put all this behind you. =)
OH UBER SUCK!!!! It wasn't even in for 24 hours! suck. I'm sorry love. ):
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