Friday, January 8, 2010

I am bewildered.

How the hell did I get here today?  I woke up this morning; everything was fine.  I went to therapy, everything was not fine.  Three hours later, I have a tube.



34 comments:

Victoria said...

Smile you are beautiful!! I love the blog

Kendra said...

That sucks! I'm sorry! I hope you get to have it out SOON! :) You and your blog are still awesome!

Stacy said...

majorly sucks. but i hope it helps.
xo.

Stephanie said...

That stinks- hope you feel better and it comes out soon!! xox

Maeve said...

That sucks!!

I hope this is just a minor setback and that you get to take it out soon.

Shall we blame the puking girl? Should we track her down for you so you can get your revenge?

Of course she probably didn't mean to cause this much damage with her puking, but I do think that you deserve some sort of revenge scenario to cheer you up....

sprinkledwithcinnamon said...

I'm sorry, Brie dear :(...you're still a beautiful lady even with the tubester intact- besides if anything it is there to join your rockband arsenal of fighters against the dreaded ED!
Lotsa love,
Sara

standing in the rain said...

No fun, no fun at all! Send hubby for some popsicles or tea for that throat!

Hope it's a quick one!

Just That ZombieGrrl said...

I really hope this time it's short-term and not too painful. Feel better! *hugs*

kristin said...

That's sucktastic. I'm sorry. :(

I hope that you don't have to have it for very long! Hang in there Brie!

Ending the Deception said...

Not a happy thing. Continue with your strength you and everyone knows, and tomorrow is a new day :)

lisalisa said...

wow that blows. I hope you get it out soon.
hang in there hun.

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Not many people could pull of "adorable" with a tube in their nose... but you do.

-c

Kerri said...

No fun. It's puking girl's fault, isn't it? I wish I could think of something useful to say, but I can't think of anything helpful to say about it, other than that I hope you can ditch it soon! Oh, and that perhaps your cats don't find this one snack worthy? ;)

Alexandra Rising said...

Oh, girly. Im sure that isnt fun. But looking on the bright side:
-Your poor, little body will get the nutrition it needs to make you a happy, healthy Brie.
-If anyone can rock a tube...it's you!
I hope soon you will have reason to take it out.
PS I have something cute/lame to tell you [but not in a comment!]

Samantha Kay said...

Ah LOVE. Remember... it may not be fine NOW but it will be.
If it's not okay, it's not the end.

brie said...

you guys are RIGHT. it is puking girl's fault!!

i'll explain more later about how this all happened...i'm still getting over the shock of it all. thanks so much for your support and comments.

♥ to you

brie said...

oh - and yes - my eye is super swollen. lame town.

Kara said...

Thinking of you...

Sheyenne said...

i still remember that feeling... totally sympathizing for you. On the upside... maybe no more Boost for a while? Praying for you!

allegri said...

Praying for you Brie. I know being tubed sucks. But just keep working at it its all a process. We know you can do it. We love you!

t. said...

wow, that sucks, brie. :( but how is it that you can still look totally glam even with that tube?

i hope you get to have it taken out soon. {hugs}

rachel ramsay said...

visit soon!

Cammy said...

Oh Brie. I'm sorry things are rough. Like everyone has said, you're beautiful with tube or without, but you will be absolutely stunning once you are healthy. Not to mention the whole energy/enjoyment stuff, little fringe benefits like that...and you deserve nothing less. Hang in there babe. <3

bananas said...

Poor Brie. So there was no real warning this time around huh? Well they had been kind of threatening you with hospitalization and I'm assuming they would have tubed you there. At least you're home, right?

Interested to hear the backstory when you're up to it. You still look hawt hawt hawt (although sad). :( Just hang in there. Do what you're told and even go the extra mile if you can so you can get a good yoink ASAP!

Courtney said...

Brie I'm so sorry. Sometimes encouragement and support can feel like empty words because we can say we feel your pain...but you're the one actually living it. I really hope you can try to believe that you getting the tube is a sign of STRENGTH, not weakness. And even if it didn't feel like it was your choice, you can make this something that will strengthen your choice to recover (if that makes any sense).

The horrible, horrible thing about anorexia (well one of the many) is that it impairs our ability to make the choices that bring health and happiness to our lives, the choices that deep down our hearts really want. I've been thinking a lot lately about how many of my choices are influenced by fear, and how a lot of the things I do are attempts to avoid facing that fear head on. I've developed a way of reacting to "life" (and by life I mean the ups and downs, the not so pretty things that happen to each one of us) that is so automatic, so natural (though in all actuality there is nothing natural about it) that sometimes I forget it's also a choice.

It's definitely harder to accept that the readily adaptable functions of our eating disorders (that often step in and protect us when we're not sure how to survive) are a choice we make. But I think knowing that also gives us power to CHOOSE something different. And I think part of choosing something different is surrounding ourselves with people (treatment professionals, family, friends) who will step in and help us stay on track.

It is so hard to trust those around us when we see things so differently. There's no doubt in our minds that someone else needs this or that but can't understand for the life of us why people are saying WE need that too (I should take out a big black marker and write "hypocrite" on my forehead right now for saying all this stuff when it's probably more what I need to hear than you).

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say through all my wordiness is trust us. Trust them. Trust that there are some things you just can't see and in time you'll be able to trust yourself. I wish I knew how or when, but I know you'll get there.

Courtney said...

Wowsers, just realized how long my comment was. Sorry dude :)

Penny said...

Wisih I knew what to say. If I did I probably already have said it to you. So, I will just support you and lil C and big B the best I can and I hope that this little ole tube will be the way for you to gain some beautiful weight and become more healthy and peaceful.

Suzi Q said...

Oh Geez. :( I am super sorry. I don't you don't feel like it but you really do still look beautiful. Good luck!

THE CREATION OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE said...

On a good note... You're eyebrows are looking amazing in this photo!

Gena said...

Brie,

I wish you didn't have that, but I'm hoping it helps you to get strong and healthy.

I'm behind you 1000%. I know you can make through this. And, as all of your earlier commenters have said, you still look beautiful!

Praying for you here in the South ~
Gena

Krista said...

So sorry about the tubage, but at least you get to rekindle your friendship with the boost pumping stripper pole.

I love the pic of Whit's tube on FB.

Laur said...

so i have an idea...i'll text you or call you tomorrow. :)

Katannah said...

Woman!!! Please take better care of you? <3

tracy said...

i'm so very sorry that it came to this, Brie. And with no warning as well...that's the sheetz. Hopefully it will be done soon, my nose hurts just thinking about it...but you a r e still your lovely self.

Be well, and take care of you,
hugs, tracy