Thursday, January 28, 2010

Dental Doom

I have to go to the dentist today. I haven’t been to the dentist in over a year.

Because I have Dentophobia. (Dun dun dun!)
Don’t laugh! I’m serious.
In fact I’m so serious I have to be sedated.

I kinda wish I could knock out all my teeth and wear dentures for the rest of my life to avoid going to the dentist EVER.AGAIN. And I’m half serious. I have dreams about this.  Thinking about someone peering into my mouth and putting tools in there gives me shivers.  Shivers.

But on the flip side, stay tuned for some funny stories. I’m always hilarious on sedatives! (MERRY BOOBMAS anyone?)

24 comments:

l.l.logan said...

This is my first time leaving a comment, but that is absolutely HYSTERICAL! I am the same way! ha ha...even the dentures part, being half serious! Except I am prolly more than half serious. Dentists give me the heeby jeebies!

t. said...

i went about 3.5 years between appointments once. and wound up needing a filling! my very first cavity at the ripe age of 32. i swore i'd go every 6 months after that. it's been almost a year since then. haha! i don't have dentophobia though. i'm just lazy. good luck. i hope it goes well. :)

Cammy said...

Ooooh I hatey the dentist...and anorexia has NOT been kind to my teeth, despite the fact that I have never purged. I hope it goes ok for you, let us know!

Sedatives can be fun. I had my wisdom teeth out in high school, and when I was coming out of the drugs the dentist decided to try to test my alertness by solemnly informing me that my sex change operation had been a magnificent success. I was still pretty dopey, and thought it was the most wonderful thing I had ever heard. Then they almost had to sedate my mom, who was not quite as amused. ;)

A Will Is The Way said...

hahaha For reals. It's funny, but oh-so-true. When I'm sitting in The Chair, with these masked folks peering into my mouth, I feel like they can hear my thoughts and know every single thing I've ever done, ever. It's quite terrifying. I like keeping my secrets secret, ya know? And I'm more than half serious about knocking out all my teeth and wearing dentures instead. I wonder if that would affect dating much? "Hang on, babe, let me just rinse my teeth real quick before we suck face" haha Okay, long comment, my bad. Take care, and good luck!

Jonny and Haley said...

I am the same way. Maybe not with sedation and nightmares but I hate hate hate going to the dentist. I avoided it for more than 3 years and then when I finally went, I had no cavities. So that just reaffirmed my desire to never return.

Kerri said...

Hehe Cammy your story cracked me up! That's classic.

When I got my wisdom teeth out, the laughing gas had done NOTHING to me and there was the assistant and the dentist coming at me- i FREAKED because I couldn't talk with how they had me set up, so I couldn't tell them that I was still not loopy and could feel pain. When the dentist tried to open my mouth- ignoring the fact I was trying to speak- I smacked the assistants tools out of her hand and they hit the dentist and after that all I remember is someone holding me down and then getting a shot. yup.

I just went to the dentist again for the first time since that incident this year. I am embarrassed to admit- it was 10 years later. Surprisingly, I only needed one root canal and had 2 cavities. And this dentist- he was so awesome that I am not afraid to go see him. I don't like it, but I don't have to have panic attacks anymore about it. Turns out, there have been big changes in the way they do things in ten years, lmao. Good luck today- if anything you will have a good "doped up Brie" story to tell, I am sure. :)

Kara said...

Ooooooooo, I hate the dentist too. I got a reminder card in the mail to make an appointment in November and I finally got up the gusto to call yesterday. Thankfully they didn't have an opening until March so I still have some time to emotionally prepare... maybe I should consider sedatives...

Alissa said...

I am SOOOOOO right there with you. Good luck! I have an appt next week and I am already counting down the days with dread. And its only a cleaning!

Courtney said...

I'm probably the only crazy one but I actually love the dentist. I definitely don't like having their hands in my mouth or the fact that I always have a cavity or two (except for last time, horray!) but I love my dentist and his entire staff. Every time I go in they make me feel like a million bucks (despite the fact that they know about my ED). The only *really* bad memory I have was when I went in to get my teeth cleaned at 8 months pregnant and I wasn't thinking about the fact that you're not supposed to lay on your back while preggo and I found out why. It's because it puts pressure on some nerve and cuts off your oxygen supply which will result in passing out and pukage. Slightly embarrasing.

Heather Lindquist said...

I went to the dentist last week and discovered I have SEVERAL cavities that need filling. I almost cried. And yes, I too have major dentophobia as well! I have to go in on Saturday to have my fillings done. I so wish I could be sedated....how on earth do you get to be high during it all? I wish my dentist would suggest that! Maybe I should suggest it to HIM though. I actually like the sunglasses they made me wear cuz then they didn't have to see the shame in my eyes for having so many cavities. Dentists suck, and they munch a steady hole into everyone's pockets. I honestly think they charge more than other doctors. Anyway, good luck.

Suzi Q said...

I think your fear is normal. I'll tell you what is not, I love the smell of the dentist! Yep you heard me right! My dad was a dentist and the smell reminds me of him. In fact I love going to the dentist just because it makes me think of him. :) Good luck though!

lisalisa said...

haha this is so funny! I actually went to the dentist today and had to take sedatives as well! Then I found out i didn't really have an appointment and I was all knocked out for no reason. i am just now becoming funtional again and don't even remember most of my day!
Dental doom sucks!!!!

i love bows:) said...

right there with you!
i havent been to the dentist for like 8 years-i know, im totally ashamed of this...i HAVE to go soon, as my ED has not been tooth friendly but i am soo terrified. My doc gave me the number of a dentist who specialises in nervous patients, got as far as ringing the number, soon as they answered i hung up in fright!

about 3 years ago, i tried to go, and the dentist has me just turn up, sit in the waiting room, say hello to him, then go for a few weeks...good idea, but he never did get as far as have me sit in the chair!

good luck!

i love bows:) said...

right there with you!
i havent been to the dentist for like 8 years-i know, im totally ashamed of this...i HAVE to go soon, as my ED has not been tooth friendly but i am soo terrified. My doc gave me the number of a dentist who specialises in nervous patients, got as far as ringing the number, soon as they answered i hung up in fright!

about 3 years ago, i tried to go, and the dentist has me just turn up, sit in the waiting room, say hello to him, then go for a few weeks...good idea, but he never did get as far as have me sit in the chair!

good luck!

brie said...

well, i'm alive.

...and, half of you are more scarexd than i am, wussies! ;)

Kerri said...

What? No sedated Brie posts? I was kinda looking forward to the giggle over it, lol. :P Glad you survived!

allegri said...

I am sooo pathetically scared of the dentist. I have to go to the {ahem} dentalspa because they do aromatherapy + massage during the cleaning! pathetic eh? pathetically amazing!!!

Melissa said...

I can promise you... dentures are not the party you imagine. They're actually super horrible. Please choose to keep your teeth. Dentures make me cry a little... Not that I have them... But I am a dental student.

bananas said...

YOU DO NOT WANT DENTURES. Seriously. Bad things happen to your jaw bones (so essentially your face) when you don't have teeth!

Keep your pearly whites and keep going to the dentist. :) Gives you a good excuse to get sedated anyway!

Laura said...

just spent 4 hours in the dentist chair
wasnt pretty
went like this
Dentist: Well, looks like the root is cracked, and if that is the case, well, then...it is over
me: so...I die???
Dentist: well, we are all going to die


good luck

Stephanie said...

I want you to know two things B..
1. While I am glad that nothing extreme happened while you were there, there is that teeny tad bit of me that was hoping to witness first hand a hilarious sedative statement that would blow "merry Boobmas" out of the water... ;P

No, serious time now, I am so proud of you B. You totally conquered the dentist. I'm also glad that he was a great man instead of the alternative you were dreading.

Stephanie said...

Sorry, I just wanted to add this in case you didn't remember.. You did tell the dentist over and over that he was "sooooo nice. I was so scared but you're a nice dentist. soooo nice."

Heart You

brie said...

shutup didn't know there was a dental spa!

and kerrie - don't worry! a post coming this afternoon!!!

teffie - you're the best - thanks for coming with me, you are prolly literally a lifesaver!!

allegri said...

Yes! and normal exams are 100% covered and they have massage chairs, do paraffin hand wax, aromatherapy temple massage + a eye mask, then a head + shoulder massage DURING your cleaning!