Wednesday, January 13, 2010

This Post is Totally Swear-worthy

...specifically, the S word.

So, SHIT.

My D just emailed me my new mealplan (click to enlarge).  Now, keep in mind that I have to eat all this PLUS run Larry at night.

Holy oh my moly with extra fatty guacamole this is pure, stark-raving INSANITY.  They're trying to torture me.  Are they dancing in my tears right now?  Oh, make it stop make it stop make it stop!

Now who wants to help me eat all this?  Pwease?



23 comments:

sprinkledwithcinnamon said...

Wow oh wow...this is so funny because this looks almost exactly like the meal plan I had...and surprisingly after about a week of it, I was never that full after eating it all...it looks a lot more daunting than it is, I assure you!
Goooooood luckkk champ!

allegri said...

you can do it!!! Each hot pocket is a victory!

Kerri said...

You can do it Brie! Cinnamon is right, once you choke it down for a week or so, you won't have such a hard time with it after.

SARAH said...

Holy s*** is right...first glance its overwhelming but I'm most sure it will become tolerable.

*cheering for you*

Kara said...

Everyones bodies and metabolisms are different. Try to trust your dietitian (I'm saying that for you and me both, I have an appointment tomorrow.) Just remember that you don't want to go IP - have that as your mantra.

Will said...

just think of it as one piece of pie or ice cream closer to seeing your little boy graduate high school!
It's just food! Don't let it win or have that much power over you. Take the power back!!

Courtney said...

I agree, though it doesn't seem possible it WILL get easier and I KNOW you can do it. I've had those little chart things and seeing all the boxes you're supposed to cross off in just one day is quite the panic attack inducer, but just think...if you can do this you can do anything! Maybe just picture the food chart as your perfectly prescribed medication--each item in each snack or meal is just there to get your body back to functioning at full capacity. just remember, one meal (and sometimes one bite) at a time.

brie said...

thanks for all the support, you guys! i am definitely feeling what you'd call OVERWHELMED...

bananas said...

Ice cream and pie for snacks every day? Holy Jesus.

Suzi Q said...

WOWZA! :) You can do it!

Cammy said...

Now if you had Reese's peanut butter cups on your meal plan, I would totally help a sista out...

Hang in there. Remember that the only way for it to stop seeming overwhelming is to tackle that biotch full on, if you give yourself a chance to adjust it will become routine. Any time I've started back with a new MP and have begun restoring weight, I have been AMAZED at how much energy I had. It's like you forget what it's like to feel anything but worn out for a while, and then BAM, life is back and you can't help but love it and wonder at how you didn't realize what you were missing. Remember that your brain can't run on fumes!

Maeve said...

Just remember that the food will give you the strength to beat up the person who gave you the meal plan!!

You can do it!!

Jackie said...

You can do it B! I know it isn't easy but your body needs the nutrients. Hang in there! xoxo

bananas said...

Do you have like, a CRUSH on Hot Pockets?

t. said...

now i've got jim gaffigan's hot pocket routine in my head.

but you can totally do this, brie. you can.

tracy said...

Sigh. Or should i say, shit. This reminds me of when i was at this fancy smancy treatment center in Tex-Ass and when "They" found out i was trying to lose weight, i had to eat with the EDP girls. So much for da plan. It was planned meals every day (and the chef's were excellent!) and Ensure if you didn't clean your plate. Sigh.... But the EDP girls were really nice. Sometimes during "Sit Time" they would do Karyoke (sp?) and it was decided the EDP theme song was "La Vida Loca"...have totes been in love with that song ever since.

Loves ya, Brie, somehow, i feel i can understand, at least a little.
Go Girl....'cause it's a "La Vida Loca"!

tracy said...

Hee. i get it, Sprinkled. "....i 'Assure' you....".

i'm sorry, Brie, you're probably not feeling really funny today...

brie said...

don't aplogozie, all, i need the laughs!

bananas - YES i must have a crush on Hot Pockets, because i devour at least one a day. they are easy and no cooking is involved, plus eating one counts as a grain, protein, and dairy, so it's easy to knock those three off my holy mother meal plan.

you know the commerical, and they say in a really high, singy voice...hoooot pockets! haha i do that every time i cook one. :)

Cammy said...

FYI I had a Hot Pocket yesterday and totally thought of you. I hope you don't take being associated with a food the wrong way, it gave me a sense of solidarity. ;)

brie said...

Cammy, I like the idea you thought of me! You can relate me to *any* food, as long as it isn't a fish, crusteacean, or green beans. :)

appletwo said...

aw, i'm sorry it's so hard brie! the food part (-larry) looks a whooooole lot like my (maintenance) meal plan, so it makes a lot of sense to me that this plan + larry would be appropriate for gaining.

still, i know it's sucky and hard! but i believe in you. you're gonna do it.

Sarah said...

hahaha C, I ate a hot pocket the other day and thought of you too, Brie! Now I just have to start liking Diet Coke, and I will BE you.

Anyway, you can totally do this. Eating a lot is mega uncomfortable so put a photo of Cade and B on your plan....paperclip or tape it and every time you look at it, feeling daunted, you will remember that THEY are the reason you are doing this. YOU are, too, but you just don't know it yet.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!! (imagine that I am leading a marching band behind me, playing peppy tunes.)

Cammy said...

Oooh Brie, you just scored major megapoints for using the scientific term for shellfish. Just FYI. ;)