Friday, January 22, 2010

Reality TV Ruminations: Celebrity Rehab


I am in love with Dr. Drew. I have become a fan of him on Facebook, so this love is legit. I am also in love with his show, Celebrity Rehab. It should perhaps be called D-List Celebrity Rehab, but whatevs.

It is hilarious. And sometimes, it can be touching. [Cue violins.]

This season, Dennis Rodman is on the show. He is sentenced there by a court ruling; it was either rehab or prison. He does not think he has a problem, though if you watched him on Celebrity Apprentice, you will remember that the dude was never sober, not once. (And if I remember correctly, his poison of choice was cranberry juice with vodka. Oh hold on don't worry my memory capacity for remembering useless information is INSANE.) He talks like Ozzy Osbourne; it’s insanely hard to understand the man. A conversation he had with a fellow resident went something like this:

Mindy: So why are you here?
Dennis: Court.
M: That’s all?
D: Yeah I don’ have no poblem.
M: So you have no consequences from your drinking? I mean, you were sent here by COURT. That sounds like you have an addiction and consequences from that.
D: I’m not here cuz I havea poblem. I’m here bcause I’m famous. Dats all.
M: Hrmmm. ??
D: I’m not gonna quit drinkin. I can quit ifi wan, I don’ wantchoo. I don’ have no problem.

DENIAL. Love it!

Another gal on the show is a model named Lisa D’Amato. I am particularly interested in her story because I have modeled with her. She doesn’t think she is an alcoholic, yet when I worked with her, she was not bein’ sober EVA, no siree. (What’s with my lingo? Dennis must be rubbin’ offa me.) It’s weird to see someone on the show that I know. I mean I don’t know know her, but you know what I mean. Yeah? Also I’m bummed because I was just searching Myspace for a pic of Lisa and I taken together, but it was no longer there. Damn my one tie to fameawesomeness is gone.  Fameawesomeness is not a word.
Sigh.

At any rate, if you don’ watch the show, you should get on it. It tickles me at the same time it fondles my heart strings.

Thursday nights give me a reason to live. Along with Tuesday night, when I get to partake of Jillian’s eyebrows.

The invention of reality TV is right up there with mustard and Mac lipstick.

32 comments:

Brianna said...

I follow your blog religiously but usually don't leave a comment. I am enjoying Celebrity Rehab more and more, however, Dennis drives me up the wall. I never liked him! I definitely liked Lisa when she was on ANTM and would never have known she had a problem. So sad.

And yes, fameawesomeness IS a word. Or it should be!

brie said...

Dennis drives me up the wall too! As my friend S would say, he's a "total toolbox." Teeheehee.

Don't know if you remember, but when Lisa was on ANTM, they had a little moment about talking to her because she was drinking too much...

Stephanie said...

B.. remember to always use my fave adjective to describe Dennis.. Toolbox.
I love that we can share this obsession together. Dr. Drew is so darn dreamy and sweet.. Love this show.. and I wish Shelly and I could be forever friends...

allegri said...

your obsession with other peoples treatment is hilarious.

also, using myspace as a search for fame? I think that just put a ding on your street cred. haha...

you crack me up.

Stephanie said...

haha... toolbox... we posted at the same time..

Folly Dolly said...

Hey that's cool that you know Lisa! Wasn't she also on America's Next Top Model??

brie said...

S, in our heaven, you and me and Shelley will be bestest buds. And we will frolic and braid each other's hair and have pillow fights and paint each others toe nails. It's in the works. :)

brie said...

holy clusterEFF of comments all at once! yep, lisa did in fact get "famous" from being on ANTM.

Steph, we think too alike...

t. said...

oh, how i am lamenting the fact we do not get this train wreck of a show! i will have to follow it solely through your blog. ;)

and how weird you know one of the show's participants. my closest brush with tv celebrity was going to high school with a guy who was later on jeopardy.

brie said...

Oh and yes, K, other people's treatment does indeed fascinate me! It's nice to focus on other people's train wrecked lives rather than my own for a change, haha.

brie said...

T, I also worked with a designer who was later on Project Runway. I have, like, connections. ;)

Italy kind of sucks for not having Celebrity Rehab. Ha! I jest!

licketysplit said...

Ah! I SO love Dr.Drew. He is so nice and hot which is a killer combo. Have you seen that other show he has about helping parents and their kids talk about sex? That one is kinda funny and a bit uncomfy, I must say.

brie said...

Yes, S, I saw that show on MTV: wasn't it like Sex Rehab with Dr Drew or something?

OMG it was insane! LIke taking their parents around to all the places they've had sex 'n stuff. Wowza it was weird and uncomfy but totally irresistible haha.

But.

I still totes love Celebrity Rehab more!

standing in the rain said...

love it. and him. i mean really, the show isn't that great...seriously d-list celebrities (+ rodman), but dr. d is so hot it's all worth it.

what cracks me up the most is his "use" of the stethoscope. he always has it around his neck in therapy sessions, sex rehab, all these times when i don't think it's ever used. hilarious.

brie said...

SITR, you totally have me roaring over here - you're right, he always really does have that stethoscope around his neck! Maybe it's to make sure no one forgets he's a legit doctor.

Or maybe it makes him feel more like a man.

lairdea said...

I'm a clinical psych grad student, and I am always running around saying "I love Dr. Drew! I'm going to be just like him when I grow up." I think it is going to get me kicked out one of these days. But I don't get it, what's not to love (okay, maybe the pouty thing he does... but otherwise!)

Maeve said...

Thanks to this post I now have another show to be addicted to! I love that you can watch full episodes online on the station's website. So much awesome!

Keely said...

I LOVE Biggest loser. I love Jillian too. I am her facebook fan and subscribe to her newsletter on www.jillianmichaels.com. Okay, I'll tell you a funny secret. Sometimes I wish I was really overweight just so I could apply to go on the show and meet Jillian and be trained by her. he he he! For reals..

brie said...

Keely! Whit and I talk ALL THE TIME about gaining weight to go on the show! I'd give just about anything to train with her...oh Jillian, oh Jillian...

lisalisa said...

I used to watch "Loveline" with Dr.Drew when I was in highschool. You are right he is dreamy!
Here's my awesome fame connection- my roomate at Mirasol was the blonde girl in the Backstreet Boys music video to "as long as you love me". She was in Shaq's loamo music video too. Anyways she was totally cool. We snuck out the window one night and ran a mile to the store and came back with vodka and jellybeans and got totally wasted in the basement. never were caught even though we had wicked hangovers in group the next day. Yar I was a nut. But I was only like 20 and I dont think I had my um priorities straight.

Jackie said...

I love Celebrity Rehab...Dennis did kind of redeem himself by being so caring towards the blond girl who had a seizure! Reality TV is my therapy so I hear ya :) xoxo

nurse122705 said...

Mustard. My (former) favorite anorexic salad dressing. These days I enjoy it with actual food, not lettuce. Love mustard.

Heather said...

I totally think Dr. Drew is a hottie with a naughty body. I think I might make out with him if given the chance. With tongue. Wait, is he married?

Alexandra Rising said...

Brie!! This entry just made my day! I am pathetically obsessed with this show and I usually get eye-rolls when I mention it.
While I may be watching [this season] more for Mackenzie Phillips than, say, D-Rod...I think this whole cast is pretty good.
I like the Mike Starr-Shelley brother-sister dynamic. "Shelley, do you want a pick? [sp?]" "Yes! What's AIC?" or that terribly long paranoid segment where he didnt speak until they said Shelley's name and suddenly he sprung to life.
And Heidi Fleiss and her ~loneliness~
Ah, yes. This post definitely made me squeal with giddiness.

tracy said...

Oh. Sigh. i used to totally l o v e Dr. Drew until this show....anything for money, i guess. This show is sooo staged, sooo messed up...sorry, Dr. Drew, ummmmm, you have pretty much gone the way of Dr. Oz.
Time to call in a r e a l Doctor..."Paging Dr. Gawande, paging Dr. Gawande..."

Oh dear, always the voice of dissent...story of my life...
Anyway...hoping you are doing well Brie and hope you don't hates me for my, uh, "review"...

brie said...

tracy of course i don't hates your for the review - we're all entitled to our opinions, but of course. :)

alex - i agree the cast is ahhhmazing. and if you read the earlier comments, you'd notice that stephanie and i are in love with shelley and want her to be our bff, haha. she kicks some major arsage. :)

tracy said...

Oh, Bire, thanks, sweetie. You really must visit Gawande.com, for some very good lookin' pics of this surgeon/professor/writer. And don't miss his interviews on the same site with ....arghhhh, my old brain is gone....!
His books, "Complications" and "better" are excellent and he had a new one out "The Check List".
Ummm, yes, i'm an unashamed groupie...!

tracy said...

Charlie Rose! On his site, there are a couple of interviews, quite good. And i have heard the good doctor described as "very self-effacing". A nice press photo galley photo (self effacing? Well, whatever!) with him looking very doctorly in his white coat...nom, nom.....i love the photo with the "short white coats". i want to be the student on the far left...
Okays, i shut up now.

This commercial paid for by the committe to advance Atul Gawande groupies.

bananas said...

I have crushed on Dr. Drew since the days when I'd just listen to him on Loveline (on the radio)... and then I saw him in person because some channel (MTV?) made Loveline into a TV show and there was my lovely Dr. Drew!!!!!!!!!! And he was exactly as I had pictured him. He's a lot more buff now though.

The stethoscope cracks me up. Chelsea Handler made some joke about him using it in sex therapy to check the pulse of a penis. Eww, right?

bananas said...

Is it bad that I always thought Lisa kinda looked like a drag queen?

tracy said...

The stethescope=an extension of his "manhood" ;) Never said he wasn't a hottie! Yep, married with a bunch of kids...well, a set of twins, anyway.

bananas said...

Triplets! That must be teenagers by now.