Monday, June 1, 2009

A letter, A Colonoscopy, and Questions 6 & 7

Okay, so I’ve totally decided that I’m going to write my GI doc a letter. A very stern (but polite) letter, telling him how unhappy I am with the mystery procedure he performed on me. This is a Very Good Idea because a) confrontation gives me diarrhea and b) I can give him a piece of my mind with carefully worded, well thought out rhetoric, rather than me turning into a blubbering mess on the phone or in person, and no doubt in the end, complying to whatever bullshart he’s selling.

It will be a very formal letter, you know the “business letters” you learned how to type up in 9th grade? Yeah I still totally remember the format, not to mention I use it everyday of my life at work, so it’ll be a snap. It will be full of very deep and meaningful phrases like “ …I judiciously request you take into account the fact you lied to me before you bill me,” and “…if you don’t acquiesce, I have a bestie that is a lawyer, and she’s totally legit and passed the bar and everything,” etc. So you know. It’s on my to-do list.

So when I walked into work today, this image collided with my eyeballs, and actually scared me enough to almost make me drop my Big Gulp. I don’t know if you can read the text if you enlarge the image, but basically it’s saying that there are worse things than getting a colonoscopy, “like realizing your wardrobe turns mirrors into weapons.” I don’t think this is funny because a) I bet getting a colonoscopy really is the scariest thing you could ever do, and b) I actually hope that when I’m older like that lady, I’m brave enough to wear what she’s wearing, seriously for realsies! I mean, my greatest fear is once I get older, I'll lose all my faculties, including my fashion sense(!), and wearing fuschia pants that have the elastic band instead of a legit button and zipper, coupled with a giant tent-like shirt that has large, tacky flowers on them. If I’m secure enough to flaunt some cheetah print with a tasteful coral beaded necklace, then yeah, hellz yeah! Who’s with me?

Okay, on to questions 6 and 7:

Question 6, from the lovely Pattie Cordova: Cake or brownies?
A: BROWNIES!! Cakes no feels good in me estomacho. Seriously. Just as confrontation gives me diarrhea, so does cake.

Question 7, also from Pattie: Which is your favorite item?
A: This is a very difficult question, as I love so many things at the store. But, I’d have to say my all-time favey item is this. She’s a real beaut.


bananas said...

I do not fear the colonoscopy. They put you under sedation for it, so you're basically asleep. Now, what you would not like is a sigmoidoscopy, where they go up 1/3 of your colon with NO medicine at all. Oh yeah, I've had a butt cam...twice! Lucky me.

I'm so disappointed in this doctor and the miscommunication. It should have been made clear what he was going to do. It's too bad you can't talk to him (without getting diarrhea) to straighten this out, but, I think a letter is a good idea. Just make sure you get it to him soon! This is reminding me a lot of my first orthodontist and all the problems I had with communication there with her and her office staff. I ended up having to send her several emails because I was so upset and I could never get the same answer twice. Well, she ended up firing me BUT gave me a full refund even though she had already done almost a year's worth of work on my braces. Pretty sweet! I ended up with a better orthodontist anyway.

Not to say your GI doc is bad, but...I'm really confused about what he did, why you had to be asleep for it, why you didn't get the button you were expecting, etc. It's very weird.

Kara said...

I'm really glad that you are writing your GI doc a letter. Legally, I think it's a really good idea. Make sure you keep a copy of it yourself and I would get delivery confirmation on it when you send it. I would start making a folder and documenting all communication you have with him. Like writing down when you call him and when he calls you and if he writes you back or doesn't at all, etc. You gotta fight this, girl!!!

Sarah said...

Glad to hear you are writing him a letter, I don't think I would have been able to handle that situation very well. I'd be flippin! and my letter would probably not be so

Krystle said...

I think writing a letter is a great idea to get yourself heard. You rock, Brie!

tawny said...

yay I love brownies too!!

way to go with your letter, you totally have the right.... good luck with all of that!!!

..and you WILL be a hot cheetah momma but maybe not QUITE like that lady in the pic. Us sista's will keep eachother in check for sure..maybe we can start our own clothing line for old momma's!

Pattie Cordova said...

that's a pretty awesome looking sweater. I like it too.

It's great that you're writing the letter. Why keep it inside you? You deserve to be heard.

p.s. You totally butchered the Spanish word for stomach LOL... it's "estomago."

brie said...

pattie, lol, i totally know that estomago is the right word, i was just making my own brie lingo!

bananas, i'm sure a colonoscopy isn't painful, since you're out, but the idea of your butt in the air with a hose inside it just doesn't sound appealing, haha.

HAFC said...

What made you think of colonoscopies? I was always under the assumption old men got those, so you're opening my eyes to a whole new world....gee, thanks! : )

Writing a professional letter will surely get his attention, and like someone else said, make copies of every interaction/letters/e-mails you have with him.

OH....and I looooove the kind of brownies with p-nut butter mixed in them. YUM!!

rachel ramsay said...

brie. me + you = goodtimes then add one whitney and watch out, triple threat.

Brooke said...

I like cake. Well, cup-cakes to be more specific. Not like you asked, but, just wanted to throw my two cents worth out there!

Just so you know that is ONE of THE UGLIEST women I have ever seen and is a disgrace to see her. Very fitting for her to be standing in front of an oven, right? a ha...

Jackie said...

I've got your back - I can be one mean little lawyer if I need to be so let me know :) Love you lots. xoxo

Åsa Schrader said...

Hi Brie, I'm sorry about the miscommunication with your doctor, but maybe he did what he had to do? Was it the same doc that explained the procedure to you as who did it?

I don't know, I don't think writing a letter is a bad idea but I think there are other things you need to put your energy on. Maybe work on your recovery with your therapist & doctors/team or what have you, and then eventually you won't need the tube/button at all.

I know it's rough but recovery is so worth it.


Angela and Brett said...

Not to be rude Asa, but based on that comment, I don't think you have ANY idea how much time and energy Brie puts into her recovery. I think Brie deserves an answer for why she was put through a meaningless surgery that ended up putting her through more pain and frusteration, further delaying her complete recovery.