Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Let’s just call me Picasso

You know how when babies are born, and the doc has to cut the umbilical cord, and a little nub of it sits in the baby's belly button until it like crustifies and falls off? (BTW I love babies but hate that. It looks like a giant boogie. Plus I dry heave whenever I see one, even my own child’s. I’m not immature, just…delicate.)
So anyway, my hole (the PEG one) has been reminding me of that since it’s been yoinked. My FAT CONGEALED over it (plus other things like tummy tissue and mucus) and it’s begun the process of healing. It had a big red thing on it that kind of looked like a bloody umbilicus volcanic reaction, but yesterday, it fell off (most of it, anyway). It’s still definitely healing, but let’s just say I feel as if I’ve been born again, (don’t you love metaphors?) and have not one, but TWO belly buttons.

They almost look identical. I was studying it last night in the mirror, and Brandon decided to say in a teasing tone (I found the whole thing rather unflattering) that my stomach looked like a Picasso painting. See, I have a really big scar on my tummy from Appendicitis and Peritonitis, and it looks like a smiley face. Well, more like a grimace, but whatever. Anyway, then I’ve got these two lopsided bellybuttons that are the eyes, and well, you have an uneven face.
On my abdomen. (But better than LITERALLY on my face, am I rightsies?)

I’m more than a little distressed. But also find this hilarious since I have little or no dignity left to be sufficiently mortified.

HOWEVER, to remain positive about this and realize that just because I have Picasso on my stomach, I'm still waaaaay better off without being tubefied. Here are my top reasons why, in no particular order:
1. Three (no make it four) words: tight tight tight shirts.
2. Bikinis (my stomach, after all, is a work of art. This needs to be displayed. The world should not miss out on what an eating disorder can do to you!)
3. I can hold ‘Lil C again. It used to hurt too much to have him hoisted around my hip and tubular area.
4. Pretty sure my bowling average will go up by at least 5 pins. I don’t know why. It just will.
5. I can now sneeze, cough, sleep on my stomach, have sex, walk/run/hike, laugh, and booty shake without any pain.

Anyway, stay tuned for my Picasso exhibit, in a rat-hole studio near you. I’ll call it my Blue Bloody Umbilicus Volcanic Reaction Period.
And you will love it.

11 comments:

HAFC said...

You're so funny. Thanks for helping me laugh today. And I'm glad you got that infected tubage out! Also, that's pretty incredible that it has already started to congeal! That's great! Most of all, I'm happy you can hold Cade again without it hurting.

On a different note, did you get my desperate weird shy voicemail yesterday? I need to talk. About something pretty darn specific......you've even mentioned it in this post. Okay, so......I'm off to work. Have a great day Brie!

Kara said...

First of all - yay for being de-tubified! (I seriously just spent a good minute and a half trying to figure out how to spell that word, ha. Still doesn't look right...)

I think it's kind of cool that you have a Picasso on your stomach. The scars are marks of courage and are symbols of how strong you are and the things you have been through. Granted, you may not want that documented on your stomach, per se, but as you said, better documented on your face than your stomach. :)

bananas said...

The idea that you were kind of "born again" from this whole ordeal is kinda neat, don't ya think?

Keely said...

Yay! I'm so glad you got that tube out. I have this gel that I put on my scar and it really helped it fade! I'll share if you want some. But don't worry, you're picasso tummy is a work of art! A testament to how brave and courageous you are. I wish I had a picasso tummy... :)

Penny said...

Well, i am curious. Tonight was bowling night and did you up your score by 5 pins? I am sure that you did but need to know the details. And I'm all for tight shirts, but well 4 times tight, Mom says, be careful! The world out there is not so trustworthy when tight shirts are involved!

brie said...

keely where'd you get the scar cream or whatever? i wantsies!

and ma, i was kind of kidding about super tight shirts. you know i don't get skanky tight, just...borderline classy cute, haha.

Amber said...

I got chills you know where reading about your secod belly button! But, you can always do that to me. You forgot the 6th thing you can do- your dance. To the left, to the left! Shake it sister

Amber said...

I got chills you know where reading about your secod belly button! But, you can always do that to me. You forgot the 6th thing you can do- your dance. To the left, to the left! Shake it sister

Brooke said...

I get chills in my (you know where)! That's ok...when things are on my own body they aren't as weird. So your awesome. Sweet!

Hey, remember when Troy used to call you "Scar Belly?" You would get so sad.....Well, I guess you have another scar to add to the belly (well cute small belly)!

Em said...

I've been teaching EC that her surgery scar is her "brave spot," just like the one I have from my C-section. So congrats, Brie, on having numerous "brave spots." It shows you have the courage to keep fighting.

zubeldia said...

Aren't those little stumps horrifying!!! I am dreading it! So glad you feel a lot better without the tube, woman. You're a brave chica indeed, and I'm incredibly proud of you.

I HATE my belly button right now. It's poking out and I dscovered, when it turned into an outie, that I have a little mole that lives in there. It's pretty gross as that sticks out too!

LoveA