Questions 8 & 9

Weird, two posts in one day, look at me go, woot woot!

Question 8, from Kara: What is my most embarrassing moment while modeling?
A: Okay, I totally know this answer, hands-down: I was doing a runway show for Jared Gold, and I thought that something felt, weird, different – wrong, if you will – down in my nether regions, but we were about to start the show and I didn’t have time to think about it or deal with it just then. After I had walked the runway the first time, you have a personal dresser who helps you yoink off your clothes really fast and puts the next outfit on before it’s your turn to go on the runway again. You CAN’T care about showing your undies, (or other things) there’s too much commotion and honestly if something like that bugs you, then modeling isn’t for you. So anyway, as my skirt was being pulled off me, I looked down…and…well, my thong was on backward. Hence the weird, (and well justified!) uncomfy feeling down south. I was mortified, and had a total frontal wedgie, and quite a few peeps got a little peep themselves, haha.

But thinking more about modeling…really and truly…almost every moment, whether at an audition, a shoot, or a runway show, was humiliating. Just being there, being watched, being judged; I was always self-conscious, always painfully self-aware of my flaws and limitations as not just a “beautiful person,” a model, but as an individual, a decent human being. Sometimes I was too tall, or too skinny, or my teeth weren’t straight enough, or my skin wasn’t clear enough…they said I was beautiful, but there was always a big BUT following that statement. So all of it – ALL OF IT – was humiliating, really. Sometimes I miss modeling, miss the rare, short moments where I felt beautiful and okay, and the power that came with that, but when I remember all of it, all the experiences…I don’t miss it. Not at all.

Question 9, from Keely: When am I going to write another From Behind Bars installment?
A: I don’t know! What do you guys want me to write one about? I need ideas…

Question 9 ½, also from Keely: How did I meet Brandon?
A: Brandon first saw me at a history class we both had on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the U of U. It was a super early class, and it was just a few credits to get generals out of the way, and I remember it was the first day of class, and I was horribly late, I couldn’t find the right building, and it was snowing, and I was wearing stilettos (WHY WAS I WEARING STILETTOS?) and I was running around in the snow for over 30 minutes, feeling like the Freshman I so, so unfortunately was. Finally, 45 minutes into the lecture, I burst through the doors, freezing cold and breathless. The classroom was huge, auditorium style, and there were a lot ‘o peeps in the class. I started to walk forward, only to totally slip like a moron – ice had gotten stuck to my stiletto, and in front of everybody I totally lost it. Of course I’m mortified, and grab a seat in the back. After class was over I pretended to talk on my cell phone on the way out so no one would try to talk to me or anything, seriously so embarrassed. After a few classes, B finally came and talked to me. He loves this memory though because he said I looked so hot (and a little ridiculous) wearing stilettos during a snow storm, and then I come in…and wow, sure do make quite the entrance.


But hey, at least it caught his attention, right? ;)