On Nicknames

I love giving people nicknames. There’s something so fun about it, so personal, a connection that means, I like you, I’m close enough to you that I can call you something special. Maybe I love it so much because I was never really called by a nickname, hardly ever. See, Brie actually is a nickname, as my full name is Brienne. (Pronounced Bree-N) But because NOBODY has ever called me that, even just saying it to myself sounds really foreign and off. I’ve always been just Brie, from day one, so even though technically Brie is a nickname, it’s not to me. It’s just me. My name.

Brandon has many nicknames from me, the most common of which is simple: Bran. Then there’s Big B, which you all are quite well acquainted with, but also Brandonius Maximus, Husband, and Branny Boo Boo Bear, which he doesn’t like, as he’s a real manly man that wears plaid and wrestles in the mud ‘n stuff.

But currently, I’m quite fascinated with coming up with nicknames for my darling kitty cat, Hairy. Now, Hairy’s kind of a mental kitten. She’s very odd…I’ve had many cats in my nearly twenty-five years on the planet, and I’ve never had one quite like her. She likes to talk to me; I’ll ask her how her day was, and she’ll look right at me and meow quite satisfactorily. “Reallllllly?” I’ll say, and she’ll look right back and meow again. In fact, she talks so much that at least once a day, usually more, I'll hear Hairy over by Branny Boo Boo Bear trying to strike up a convo, and he'll mutter, "Shutup, Hairy, I'm busy -- or Go away, I don't have time to talk right now!" Seriously, she’s totally legit. She’s also like a lapdog, always wants to be sitting on me and near me and really we love each other very much.

So I have so many nicknames for the girl, and they’re just brimming, going to overflow, and I had to share them with you. As you read the list, please do keep in mind that I’m not insane. I just really love her, that’s all!

So, recently, these are the names by which I call her. They change in any given week; I can’t help it that I’m both creative and a little dirty:

Horny Hairy
Hairyola (rhymes with areola) – I use this one a lot
Hairsticular Cancer (use this one a lot too)
Hairy Winston
My Little Thicket
My Favorite Sexually Based Offense
Hairy Bush
Hair Bear

Brandon’s thrilled with all these, I’m sure, haha. :)

I bet if Hairy could give me a nickname, it would be full of love but also dirty goodness as well! Until then…I’ll still be…just Brie. Sigh. ;)