Wednesday, June 24, 2009

On Nicknames

I love giving people nicknames. There’s something so fun about it, so personal, a connection that means, I like you, I’m close enough to you that I can call you something special. Maybe I love it so much because I was never really called by a nickname, hardly ever. See, Brie actually is a nickname, as my full name is Brienne. (Pronounced Bree-N) But because NOBODY has ever called me that, even just saying it to myself sounds really foreign and off. I’ve always been just Brie, from day one, so even though technically Brie is a nickname, it’s not to me. It’s just me. My name.

Brandon has many nicknames from me, the most common of which is simple: Bran. Then there’s Big B, which you all are quite well acquainted with, but also Brandonius Maximus, Husband, and Branny Boo Boo Bear, which he doesn’t like, as he’s a real manly man that wears plaid and wrestles in the mud ‘n stuff.

But currently, I’m quite fascinated with coming up with nicknames for my darling kitty cat, Hairy. Now, Hairy’s kind of a mental kitten. She’s very odd…I’ve had many cats in my nearly twenty-five years on the planet, and I’ve never had one quite like her. She likes to talk to me; I’ll ask her how her day was, and she’ll look right at me and meow quite satisfactorily. “Reallllllly?” I’ll say, and she’ll look right back and meow again. In fact, she talks so much that at least once a day, usually more, I'll hear Hairy over by Branny Boo Boo Bear trying to strike up a convo, and he'll mutter, "Shutup, Hairy, I'm busy -- or Go away, I don't have time to talk right now!" Seriously, she’s totally legit. She’s also like a lapdog, always wants to be sitting on me and near me and really we love each other very much.

So I have so many nicknames for the girl, and they’re just brimming, going to overflow, and I had to share them with you. As you read the list, please do keep in mind that I’m not insane. I just really love her, that’s all!

So, recently, these are the names by which I call her. They change in any given week; I can’t help it that I’m both creative and a little dirty:

Horny Hairy
Hairyola (rhymes with areola) – I use this one a lot
Hairsticular Cancer (use this one a lot too)
Hairy Winston
My Little Thicket
My Favorite Sexually Based Offense
Hairy Bush
Hair Bear

Brandon’s thrilled with all these, I’m sure, haha. :)

I bet if Hairy could give me a nickname, it would be full of love but also dirty goodness as well! Until then…I’ll still be…just Brie. Sigh. ;)


Penny said...

I know the post is about your nick names for others but you say that you do not have one. Well, you do. You are my little "chick". I call you that every time I answer the phone! Now some of my other kids are "chicks" too, but you because of your age and sex, are "little chick". I thought when my kids grew up I would quit using that nickname but I haven't which prob means that Hairy will have to endure your nicknames for about forever!Maybe you give him nicknames because you gave him such a common first name?

Laura said...

wait..HAIRY is NOT a nickname?????

brie said...

laura! NO! hairy is a perfectly sound, sensible name. hairy is my hairy pussy. and i love her!

brie said...

OMG i, like, blocked this out:

i had a nickname as a kid, and it traumafrickintized me! two words:


ouch, right?

Krystle said...

I like this post. I never really had a nickname growing up either... at least not one that more than one person called me lol. I have plenty now from the fiancee, and I love them all. Plus, my kitty has tons of them. I really do love nicknames! The ones you gave Hairy are hilariously adorable!:)

Standing in the Rain said...

umm i love hairyola. hilarious. and, of course, hairy bush.

for obvious reasons.

Brooke said...

Yes Brie, your were SCAR BELLY and CHICK. You must have blocked those out. Sad. Our family had a different take on nick-names. If you actually had one, it meant that you were being made fun of. I had BUBS and IRIS and SOPHIE (those monkeys that scavenge the last scraps of food from the more powerful monkeys).

Our child-hood wasn't always flowers and lollipops was it?

Gretchen said...

My nickname growing up was actually Brie. This is because I couldn't say my name and when my mom asked me who I was I tried to say "me" but it came out "brie" and she calls me this to this day! Weird huh? Also, as far as people nutty over their animals-I took my dog, Sofie, to the vet today. Wait-my totally spoiled more like a child than a pet-dog and she asked if she was my only one. Like I am so neurotic over her, she must be an only child, which by the way, I am. Also weird huh? I just felt inclined to tell you that.

Kara said...

Hairyola - clever. :)

Krista said...

Someone gave me the nickname Krust growing up and to this day everyone in my family calls me that I also have a sister named Karalee who goes by Shi more than she does by her real name (at least by close friends and family that is).

On nicknaming your cat, my favorite was Hairyola. Recently, I have most often referred to my kitten as "you little shit!"