Thursday, June 25, 2009

Grumpies

You hear a knock at the door. Who’s arrived? Oh, just the grumpies. And then they walk in, uninvited, park it on your couch, and ask for a beer. They sidle into bed with you at night, make you wonder if you need anger management skills while they whisper how much life sucks in your ear, and tell you throwing a phone book or gummy bears at your neighbor across the street who never wears a shirt and stares at your boobies while simultaneously looking like he’s going to have a stroke is a good idea.

The grumpies make me restless. I start reading, only to realize I can’t focus on the storyline. I do the laundry, only to decide it’s an exercise in futility. I start doing my hair, and then realize I’ll look ugly today no matter what; a ponyfrickintail will suffice. Just a cycle I’m going through, like a Pekingese chasing its tail for hours in a big un-fruitful circle of This Sucks.

Today, everyone around me is cute and chipper and happy and talking about how much the Special K diet, if they could just stick to it, would help make their world a better place. And then there’s me, with my nasty grumpies. I am the rancid meat between adorable Special K bread. And no one wants to eat this sandwich.

I don’t even know what that means.

Gross, Brie. Just LET.IT.GO.

11 comments:

Krystle said...

Aw, I have numerous days like this. Just know, tomorrow will be better, and Senor Grumpo will eventually stop staring at your "goods" and fall asleep. ;)

Feel better, sweetie. Your humor reigns no matter what, and that chases my Grumpy away many a time. :)

Krista said...

Sorry about the sucky grumpies! If you decide to hit the pool up again shoot me a text and maybe Jax and I will drive up there. This time I will put sunblock on. Yesterday I got a little crispy, though I think not as much as Whit.

Brooke said...

No worries. I'm pissed because I was just on my was out the door to the mall with my friend and Blake puked Orange sunkist all over the kitchen floor.

Sweet.

Natalie said...

Okay so you know that post you did a few days ago about people reading your blog that you know read your blog but don't comment? Was that for me? "the guilty taketh the truth to be hard" right? :)
So I don't even know if you know who I am. But I am a big fan of you and Brandon. I am one of his nerdy friends from high school. I stumbled upon your blog off another high school friend's blog. I hope you don't mind that I read your blog. You are such a good writer and I have found myself laughing outloud many times while reading. I think you have a unique talent. I am also amazed at what a strong person you are. I don't know everything there is to know about dealing with what you deal with but I think you are very courageous. So thanks for letting me blog stalk. I hope its okay.
p.s. And if its not okay, just tell me, seriously. I can take it.

rachel ramsay said...

let's perform a grumpies exorcism... just promise me that you won't spin your head around and projectile vomit in my direction.

Kerri said...

Ugh. I get like that far too often, only I am never sure how to explain just how miserable it is. Last week I felt like I was literally the one walking around with a raincloud over her head. You did a great job explaining it- I laughed while I agreed, lol. I hope your raincloud takes off soon!

kristin said...

:(

Feel better, Brie.

lots of love, kristin

Tanya said...

Oh B. So Sorry about feeling the grumpies. I have them so much lately. I am sorry they are striking you. Hugs

Keely said...

Would some anti-gravity yoga help? I hear it cures the grumpies... (Look at the second photo towards the right side at the girl in the back..) That's what we'd look like and it would be fun. And funny. And I would laugh my arse off. And ruin the yoga moment. And the grumpies wouldn't like to come...

Gena said...

I'm so sorry you are grumpy but your post made me laugh out loud. I particularly loved the parts about your weird neighbor and the Special K sandwich.

I hope tomorrow is a happier day for you. I get those damn grumpies all the time. I think it's my age.

lisalisa said...

I've had the grumpies for about 2 months now. I told my psychiatrist about it and he upped my risperidone. Guess he doesn't know the difference between grumpy and PSYCHOTIC!