Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Opposites Attract

On my hetero-date with Devon last night, she convinced me that this little piece of brilliance on my part was utterly blog-worthy. I absolutely agreed.

So, many of you dear readers are familiar with my cats, for they disturbingly seem to come up in my posts often. It’s freakishly bestiality-curious, no doubt. You can read about my really funny but really creepy catophilia issues here, it’s always good for a laugh.

Anyway, to proceed with my story, you need to once again meet my cats:

Meet Bobbi, my twenty-six pound bear cub who has love affairs with scotch tape, sandals, and string cheese. She’s not very cute. It’s okay. You don’t have to say otherwise.
And Meet Hairy. We used to think she was a boy, (hence the name, which used to be spelled Harry) until one day, voila! She went into heat and started humping everything in sight that was small enough for her to mount. And she is very pretty. And you do have to say it.

So, last night, Dev and I were relaxing by the fire, chatting it up, and I was looking at the enormity that is Bobbi, and the haughty, but totally hot Hairy, and I thoughtfully said to Dev, “You know, in Cat World, Hairy would be the hot cheerleader that all the jocks want to de-virgnize, and Bobbi would be the fat nerd that eats lunch in the library where she bites, collects, and eats her fingernails."

But somehow, these two strangers found love. Beyond all of the doubters who said that a hot cheerleader wouldn’t look twice at the loser, these two found camraderie, companionship. Even love. And it is deeper than the cliques and established norms in this world of what is acceptable and what is not. They are somehow sexually attracted to each other, and I’m totally cool with that. The world may not be, but I absolutely am. They are living proof that opposites, do, in fact, attract.

Good for Bobbi, and I'm thinkin' not so good for Hairy.


Kate said...

I so miss your scotch tape eating cat!
I love it.
And I love you too.

Devon said...

That was indeed a glorious moment in time - one that will never be forgotten.

I'm looking forward to more adventures next tuesday date night my dear!


KC Elaine said...

so adorable! you can always make me smile. And can I say Hairy looks so much like Mr. Darcy. I'll send you a picture.

heather said...

I've never met your cats, but I so love them anyways......Atticus, my cat, has just recently begun stalking and "flirting" (in cat terms) my friend's cat. It's quite funny. He leaps on top of her tries desperately to hump her. Obviously, the other cat feels terribly violated and yowls at the top of her lungs until some human comes running to her defence. Poor Atticus....he just wants a girlfriend.....he's just, sadly, going about it the wrong way. And, a big And, he's neutered. So, I'm not sure what hormones are still floatin' around in him!!!

Ash said...

Kudos to Bobby! She is really lucky in the feline lesbian society to have such a hot hairy lover!

Whit said...

I miss seeing your fat cat.... I feel like I can really relate to her! We have quite the connection.

Hopefully I will see tonight slut!

Love Always,


Bryson said...

"Bobbi would be the fat nerd that eats lunch in the library where she bites, collects, and eats her fingernails."
100% perfection

sav said...


Brooke said...


I didn't want to read the blog when I found out it was going to be about your cats, but I have to admit that was pretty funny!