The Flu Shot is Bogus

If I could retract my last post I would, but seeing as most of you have already read it, I suppose there’s not much of a point in that. I expect I just needed to vent a little bit. Regret hurts, (a lot) and I’m trying to use my blog as an outlet rather than turn to anorexia. I didn’t particularly want to get to the nitty-gritty details that led up to that post, I just needed to acknowledge It sucked, which was what I did. So. No worries.

I haven’t posted in a couple days because I have had an evil case of the flu that has been trying its very hardest to kill me, or at least kick me in the ovaries and have me internally bleed to death. Or something. The thing I don’t get is that I got a flu shot, man. A FLU SHOT! Isn’t that supposed to stop you from getting, well…the flu?! I think I might be with Rachel on this one – maybe the whole flu shot thing is a scam by the government. A scam where instead of injecting Influenza antibodies into our system, they’re really injecting a microscopic GPS system so that they know where we are at all times. Because their technology is very advanced, they can also detect our blood type and if we have big boobs or viable organs for donating or if we’re worthy to be abducted and experimented on by the so-called “aliens,” who we all really know is a highly classified secret branch of the government (we’ll call them the Syndicate) with unlimited amounts of money and resources whose sole purpose is to keep the human race ignorant to the reality that we’re not alone, and that aliens do, in fact, (well maybe) exist.
Or maybe I’m wrong about all of it. I dunno. Sometimes the freaky X-Files whore in me gets out and I can’t control it.
Like now. Wow.

Anyway, so I’m back at work today, but very begrudgingly. I still feel awful, but I hate letting people down, like my boss, so I trudged in, with DayQuil, migraine medication, throat lozenges, ibuprofen, tissues, juice, Diet coke, and water in tow. I’m absolutely miserable, so I’m pretty sure I’m justified in not doing much work today. I think I’ll spend the better part of my day researching government conspiracies on Google. I’ll let you know if I find anything that could be viable or possibly applicable in explaining the odd mysteries that so often occur in our lives.
I’m out.

Trust no one.