Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Flu Shot is Bogus

If I could retract my last post I would, but seeing as most of you have already read it, I suppose there’s not much of a point in that. I expect I just needed to vent a little bit. Regret hurts, (a lot) and I’m trying to use my blog as an outlet rather than turn to anorexia. I didn’t particularly want to get to the nitty-gritty details that led up to that post, I just needed to acknowledge It sucked, which was what I did. So. No worries.

I haven’t posted in a couple days because I have had an evil case of the flu that has been trying its very hardest to kill me, or at least kick me in the ovaries and have me internally bleed to death. Or something. The thing I don’t get is that I got a flu shot, man. A FLU SHOT! Isn’t that supposed to stop you from getting, well…the flu?! I think I might be with Rachel on this one – maybe the whole flu shot thing is a scam by the government. A scam where instead of injecting Influenza antibodies into our system, they’re really injecting a microscopic GPS system so that they know where we are at all times. Because their technology is very advanced, they can also detect our blood type and if we have big boobs or viable organs for donating or if we’re worthy to be abducted and experimented on by the so-called “aliens,” who we all really know is a highly classified secret branch of the government (we’ll call them the Syndicate) with unlimited amounts of money and resources whose sole purpose is to keep the human race ignorant to the reality that we’re not alone, and that aliens do, in fact, (well maybe) exist.
Or maybe I’m wrong about all of it. I dunno. Sometimes the freaky X-Files whore in me gets out and I can’t control it.
Like now. Wow.

Anyway, so I’m back at work today, but very begrudgingly. I still feel awful, but I hate letting people down, like my boss, so I trudged in, with DayQuil, migraine medication, throat lozenges, ibuprofen, tissues, juice, Diet coke, and water in tow. I’m absolutely miserable, so I’m pretty sure I’m justified in not doing much work today. I think I’ll spend the better part of my day researching government conspiracies on Google. I’ll let you know if I find anything that could be viable or possibly applicable in explaining the odd mysteries that so often occur in our lives.
I’m out.

Trust no one.

6 comments:

Whit said...

I just wanted to let you know that you have officially made me paranoid...Thanks friend!

Love Always,

Whit

Emily said...

Trust no one! The truth is out there! :) Can't wait for the new movie to come!

Good for you for using this blog instead of the anorexia! I'm proud of you. :)

Feel better soon!

KC Elaine said...

yes, blog, not anorexia! And - Nils works at Edwards Air Force Base, where purportedly they keep alien remains. But whenever I ask him about them he says, "I can't talk about it!" Very suspicious if you ask me...

Bowles Family said...

Tell me more about any government conspiracies you find! I think they are so interesting and sometimes very hilarious! Sucks about that flu-hope you are feeling back to normal soon!

Tanya said...

I hate when that happens...and seriously love the alien conspiracy theory...course I have enough paranoia when I listen to my dad talk . :) Love ya.
Tanya

Laurie and Corey Kunz said...

I don't think you should apologize for your posts or feel like you wish you could retract them. Your blog is great because you use it to vent and no one who doesn't care about you reads it so don't ever feel like you are being judged by what you write.
Since you are so sick its okay if you cancel on me again this week. Just let me know...