Tuesday, January 8, 2008

My Nose Piercing Near Death Experience

So I did it. I took the plunge.
I pierced my freakin' nose.

I've been wanting to post something earlier, but I had to wait until I told my mom in person I had done it, because she reads this blog, and I didn't want her to find out via the internet. Kind of tacky, if you ask me. But she knows now - after she shrieked, "OH NO!!" She quickly got over it, and I'm thinking it's pretty safe to say she loves me again, which is a relief. :)

Alana and I got there around sixish, and I remember when I pulled into the parking lot I was thinking it was kind of in a ghetto place in downtown SLC. It was a run-down brick building with huge neon lights in the window saying things like TATTOOS and PIERCINGS. By this time I was so nervous, I just knew that my gag reflex was comprable to that of an infant, and I was terrified I was going to ralph all over the piercer. I was irritable too, just ask Alana. She may have gotten the brunt of it, but she was sweet about taking it like a man (er, woman) and trying to calm me down.

Once in the huge scary metal chair, Bryan (my piercer) was really awesome about talking me through everything and trying to make it seem quick and pain-free. He looked a bit sketch with a sparse beard, shaggy hair, and gauges through is ears, but he was like a teddy bear. Seriously. Here I am waiting to get pierced; I'm watching Bryan prep with terror in my eyes:

Once he had everything ready, he told me that he wanted me to close my eyes and take deep breaths, and when he felt I was relaxed and ready, would push it through. I asked him how long the whole thing would take, and he told me less than thirty seconds, and I'm thinking, "Okay, Brie. You can do this! You gave birth to a ginormous eight pound mini-man with out the help of an epidural, and that lasted hours! Come on! Don't pass out, don't pass out, don'tpassoutdon'tpassoutdon'tpassoutpleeeeeeaaaasedon'tpassout!"
And I didn't, which was good.

But I think, really, what I did was worse. He pushed the needle through, and you know how, when your body is in physical danger, you either do the fight or flight thing? Well, my body opted for flight. I swear I had no control. One minute I'm sitting there, and the next, I can feel my body going upward, and my head is just screaming, "LEAVE! DANGER DANGER DANGER!!!" The pain was incredible, folks. I consider myself to have a pretty high pain-tolerance, but this was bad. Baaaaaad. Big fat tears started rolling down my cheeks, and I really thought, for just a minute, that I was going to die. I know I sound dramatic, but wow. The last time I thought that, (aside from giving birth to the small man) was when I started breast-feeding. Unfortunately it seems to be a well kept secret that breast-feeding hurts like a motha. The first time Cade clamped on, it felt like a bear cub was gnawing on my nipples. But I digress. That really is another post for another day. So even though my head and body were begging me to leave, I somehow stuck it out. I somehow lived to tell the tale.

In this pic, you can see he's pushed it through. Do you have chills deep within your body? Because you should, looking at this picture!

In this picture, it's finally over. You can barely even see the stud in my nostril, huh? But that's good! I wanted it to be small.
Alana took the picture, and I'm thinking she wanted me to smile, but really, all I could muster up was a "Go to hell, bitch" kinda look. Is this seriously like the saddest thing you've ever seen?! I look so, so...well...traumatized.

I'm so glad it's all over. It's probably not something I'll live with for the rest of my life, but Kate pretty much sealed the deal for me when debating on whether or not I should do it, because she reminded me of the motto I live by in life:
Well behaved women rarely make history.
And how am I supposed to be making some history if I don't even dare to pierce my nose?!

Oh, PS:
So Alana told Bryan while he was prepping me for the piercing that I was nervous because this seemed like a pretty shady part of town. (What? I can't help that I was born and bred on the East Side!) Bryan was telling us about how this was uber safe, and how he walked three blocks home every night at like midnight and never had any problems, blah blah blah...and really, I didn't believe him, but I didn't say anything. So two nights ago on the news, apparently there was a gang shooting in the parking lot. Yeah, some kid died. Safe? I don't think so.

But I did survive.


alana said...

oh brie, so dramatic! haha it was pretty sketch, but think of the stories you can tell now! haha i'm glad you survived. heck, i'm glad I survived! love you!

Laurie and Corey Kunz said...

oh brie, i just want to grab you and give you a big bear hug in that last picture. You look so hurt! you were right, the stud is soo small. Good job girly. I can't wait till your dad sees it, if only I could be a fly on the wall!

heather said...

Yes...you most certainly DO look traumatized. I applaud you on that one. I was thinkin' of getting my tongue pierced with one of those big posts with a ball on each side....what do you think?

Okay, lame joke. But yep, you look the "dying princess role" for sure.

Emily said...

Yeah, I probably should have mentioned that the nose piercing really does hurt. But, in my grand opinion, it is so worth it. :)

KC Elaine said...

wow, you are one BRAVE lady!

T.S.T. said...

Congratulations! Welcome to the world of the nose-pierced! (We'll teach you the secret handshake ASAP.)

Martins said...

Oh my goodness! The fact that you compared getting your nosed pierced to giving birth to a man child (which that term is hilarious in and of itself) convinces me never to get another piercing ever! You are a brave, brave woman :D

Brandon said...

Let me just jump right to the point with this comment: you have a prettier nose than you did before.

Rachel Nunally said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bobbbbyx3 said...

you are not brave.
you are probably THE BIGGEST drama queen i have ever seen in my life.

my friend and i are 14 and we pierced ours ourself then got it done professionally and didn't cry or flip shit ONE FUCKIN' TIME!

and i gushed blood for 2 1/2 hours and didn't freak out. grow some balls. you wanted it done. duh it wasn't gunna be pain free. damn.

Anonymous said...

Ah, ye gods, my nose piercing was terrible. The jewelry wouldn't go in so she had to wiggle it a bit and it hurt and then she was like "well I'm gonna have to re-pierce it." But what she actually did was shove another needle through the same hole which made me bleed and cry and whine "oh god I'm an idiot why did I do this why why why." The painful part for me is always when they pull the needle through, not the actual piercing of the skin. Yay nose piercings.


Pattie Cordova said...

I had my belly pierced and that hurt like a motha... the second time I got it done (because I was totally careless and let it close up), they had to pierce through ligament - way painful. BUT... I did have my tongue pierced way back in the day and that was the least painful of all (I also had eyebrow). But... you have done what I have been wanting to do for a long time. One of my New Year's resolutions for 09 is to get a tattoo.

Pattie Cordova said...

BTW - it's now Feb. 09 - do you still have the piercing?

Pattie Cordova said...

BTW - it's now Feb. 09 - do you still have the piercing?

Emm said...

Wow, I feel bad for you,

but for anyone who read this and is currently intimidated to get their nose pierced over it, it's not that bad.

i'm 14 and got mine done 2 days ago, it took a couple minutes, and didn't hurt that bad at all.

Jenny said...

Why are all of these 14 year olds getting their nosed pierced?

Anyway, my nose piercing was definitely the most painful one I have had (eyebrow, tounge, belly button, lip, monroe). It was very similar to the pain of a cartilidge piercing in my opinion. Both hurt like a mutha!

I had one tear roll down my cheek which was totally involuntary. I didn't cry it just made my eye water.