As Rachel Would Say, “Not much of a confidence booster, eh?"

Last night was weird.

It was Date Night, and Brandon and I went on a double with Little Brother-In-Law and Cute Erin to Magleby’s. So, we get in and submit our name, and they told us it would be a forty minute wait (it ended up being over an hour). And then, as I’m standing there, feeling hungry and happy, I look over my right shoulder, and crap. It unfortunately appeared that a certain Dr Frost, a co-founder but now retired therapist of Center For Change, was there waiting to eat with his wife. Now, I know Doc Frost quite well. We used to go out and speak about the awareness and prevention of eating disorders all the time. We even drove to Idaho together and spoke at some colleges there. It was hardcore. But, well, I’m not physically looking my best, if you all catch my drift. I eat, but it’s been a rough battle trying to gain weight. And I just knew he would look at me and think that after seven years, I still wasn’t recovered, and he’d shake his head and mutter something like, “Poor girl. Will she ever do this?” So I went to find a bench to hide my body on with my purse and coat on top of me, and when the hostess brought around hot rolls to everyone waiting for tables, I scarfed mine down as enthusiastically as possible so he could feel my EATING ROCKS vibes I was obsessively sending his way. I tried not to make eye contact with him, but he did catch Brandon’s eye and nod hello. I felt bad for being such an avoidant, but really. I wanted to have fun that night. And then I got a little angry at myself for being self-conscious about what others thought of me, even when I know how well I'm doing, and I was even more angry that I let that insecurity get in the way of me saying hi to a really decent guy who has helped me a lot. Incidentally, this is not a picture of Doc Frost, it’s of Einstein. But seriously, they look the exact same. Bed head gray hair, freaky looking mustache…Bryson thought he looked like a captain of some sort, so he is officially dubbed Captain Frost. Doesn’t he sound like he should be a character in Clue or something?

Well, the night got a wee bit worse when I broke my chair.

Yeah, sitting on it.

Happily eating my roll.

Chair breaks.

Sadness takes over.

Then humiliation.

For a former anorexic, breaking the chair you are sitting in is not the best confidence booster, you know? But I ate my roast beef anyway. And my mashed potatoes. And my chocolate cake. And my vanilla ice cream and raspberry sauce. But really? Did I have to break my chair? I think last night my eating disorder was just out to get me, or at the very least, have a good laugh at my expense. But I wasn't laughing. I was too busy being traumatized from my chair-breakage.

I thought I'd just post this random pic of Brandon and I. We were waiting for our seat last night and got bored. I'm bugged he made an ugly face in this pic, cuz I actually look cute. So we took another one, but it was worse, because he looked like he had Down Syndrome, so I'm stuck with this one to remember my weird night by: