Now THIS Fast Food I Hate

“Hi, welcome to Mc-I’m-a-bitch. What can I get for you?”

“Yes, I’d like a ruin-my-day-burger. Oh, with cheese and no mayo on it, please.”

“Right away! Would you like any sides? Maybe some crispy I’m-ignorant-and-just-want-to yell-at-you-fries?”

“Yes, that’d be great! I’d really like to wash it down with some ice cold whore, too.”

“Great! I’ll have your total at the window, where I’ll promptly rip off your head, as well!”

Yeah, nice.
I’m so done. I hate bending over backward to help some morally bankrupt moron who is interested only in making sure everyone knows what a completely spoiled rotten little fugly she really is. Okay, sorry. It's just that I'm a nice person. I'm a non-confrontational person. Predators can smell that weakness out.
Then they attack.
They go for the kill, and just like that: the jugular, and BAM. I'm on the ground, struggling for life with terror in my eyes.
So while I took the verbal assault over the phone, I gleefully imagined her coming down with some horrifyingly humiliating disease –something like butt cancer - that nearly kills her. She survives of course, but not without much pain and suffering that ultimately guides her to an AHA! moment where she realizes the error of her bitchy ways and transforms into the well-mannered and respectful human being she unfortunately is not. Yeah, I’m pretty sure something like butt cancer would do that to a person. In the meantime, stay away from me!