Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Royal Treatment

Today, in therapy, Big B and The T told me that I am a “spoiled little princess.”

Ouchies.

18 comments:

allegri said...

yikes ):

now.is.now said...

What do they mean by that?

Telstaar said...

:( *hugs*

Maeve said...

Ouch. Merry Christmas?

brie said...

Maeve - you made me cackle. :)

now.is.now...what they meant by that...?

I'm not entirely sure. I guess my whole life, I've been babied, and I've always had the role of the "sick one" in my family, and so I'm used to not having to do cleaning or cooking or anything, and eating disorders naturally make people selfish because they get so self-absorbed in their disorder that they neglect and isolate themselves from their loved ones...I guess the thing that stung the most was that they implied I neglect Caden because of this. That hurt. :(

lisalisa said...

They care about you and I'm sure thay were giving you some "tough love". Still, that had to suck. Sorry you had to hear that (hug)

licketysplit said...

Ouch is right. That would kinda suck... I hope they followed it up with some reassurance and positivity. Everyone has room to grow, but I think it's pretty apparent to everyone that you have amazing strengths and you love your little guy more than words can say.

brie said...

Thanks for your support, ladies. Honestly it really wasn't followed up with a lot of positive re-inforcement. It was a total bash session, but I guess I needed it? I mean I know I need to change, but yikes. It was a real eye-opener, and some of it was true, but some of it I don't think really was, but when I tried to defend myself, they kinda looked at me like, "Stop. No defending. Just be humble, blah blah blah yakkity schmackity." I dunno.

I guess I better work on becoming a humble servant, instead of a spoiled princess.

Or something...

Stacy said...

ugh. I am feeling angst for you. I say trample any assumption they have and prove them wrong.
I am sorry they implied that about Caden, I know it hurts me even when I think that about myself.

You are an amazing mama. and woman. And sometimes people who love you tell you stuff that is true but they say it in the worst way ever and make you feel like crapola.

ps... remind them you ARE a princess.. Daughter of a KING, remember!

Merry Christmas Brie!

THE CREATION OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE said...

Hnag in there girl! This too shall pass!

now.is.now said...

Brie, I remember when I really committed (the first time - ha) to trying to change and leave the ED behind was a day when I realized that EDs are selfish. I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh. I'm a bad listener to my friends because I'm busy counting calories. Oh my gosh, I'm not as good of a sister because I had no energy to mail her a care package because I didn't eat enough. Oh my gosh, I'm not a good friend because....." Anyway - I remember realizing that my ED was making me a less-than-stellar friend, sister, daughter, mentor, etc. (The second time I really committed to trying to change was when I realized that I can't keep a little bit of the ED and follow SOME of the RD's rules and tell SOME of the truth to the therapist. When I realized that my role in the whole process was just brining it all down, I decided to step out my own way and "trust the process" and just do everything I was supposed to even if I didn't understand why. That was 1.5 years ago.

Sarah said...

Yeah, I'm a spoiled little princess too. It's okay to a certain extent but there are limits and I cross them.

To stop myself from being completely obnoxious, I try to pay attention, and try to make a daily commitment to loving the people around me and showing them that I'm not the center of the universe. I always wind up praying about it because I know that without God's help I am spoiled and self centered. But with his help and with an effort to pay attention, I find that l can be conscious of making the effort to hang up my clothes instead of leaving them on the dressing room floor and watching a show my husband wants to watch instead of insisting on the Hills and getting my own glass of water instead of lying on the couch and asking for it.

Just take it day by day and be kind to yourself in the process. Anorexia makes you selfish but every time you finish your meal plan or really participate in a therapy session or use your coping skills, you're showing those around you that they matter more to you than your level of anxiety and that's the best gift you can give them.

Fellow princess and queen of the universe,
Sarah

Brooke said...

Sucks to be in the room when two people are talking about you. Totally know the feeling!!

Shawnee said...

"All women are Princesses...it is their right."

brie said...

so much to say re: all of the amazing comments i've gotten. for now, since i be a bit highsies from benzos, i'll just say thank you and wait to reply when my short term memory comes back. ;)

Heart all 'o you!

ghost girl said...

the other day, my sister posted "i'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale" on her facebook. It is from that pop song or whatever, and it is a verrrry simple statement, but really.... it's like i told her - That is one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn.

brie said...

there's so much i want to say to many of you who have commented on this post.

only...

my kid needs to go pee, and we're in the middle of potty-training, so i will a little lata.

would a princess potty train? *sniff* I think NOT. ;)

Alexandra Rising said...

Well....did you draw the princess picture? Cause...she's a cute little computer graphic princess.