Monday, February 23, 2009

My Street Cred Couldn’t Help Me through This

How’s my lovely bunch ‘o hot stuffs doing this morning? Hope everyone’s content. If not, go grab a Diet Coke, come back, and you will be.

I had a fun weekend, mostly because I’m an amazing ripsticking goddess and I pretty much rock and am cool beans and kick A and take names. It feels SO GOOD to use my body again (that’s what she said) and it was nice to kinda sorta be getting exercise but not really feeling like I was – I wasn’t slaving away on the treadmill or anything; instead I was dropping occasional D bombs and getting all roughed up. And, just so you know, now that I’m an official ripper (the boarding kind, not the farting kind) I’ve got some hardcore street cred. So I’ve got ‘yo back.

So I’m sore and happy that I’m sore because it means my body isn’t as sedentary as I originally knew, and it means I didn’t die from an asthma attack from over-exertion this weekend. The Briester is slowly but surely making non-anorexic steps up in the world! My body is so happy (but oh so tired!). (And I made up for it last night by eating like a ravenous insatiable hellion. Seriously. Ask W or B. I tore through that kitchen. Go me!

So yesterday in church the Big B and I had to give talks in Sacrament Meeting. Me no excited about it, but I did it anyway, even though I really wanted to pout and do a no call no show thing, but okay fine whatever I’ll just do it and get it over with. We were supposed to pretty much take up the bulk of the meeting – we were each scheduled to talk for 20 minutes. So I got to do the fun part of the talk, since we’re new in the ward: introduce ourselves ‘n stuff. So I basically thought I’d do that, end a little early, and make B make up for the time since he had to go last.


So I got up there, and I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so I couldn’t see much, and I was kinda thinking, “If I can’t see them, maybe they can’t see me” you know, thinking like a wee child, and it kinda worked, which was good because our ward is full of old people who can’t help but fall asleep in meetings because a) they might be bored but b) they’re most likely just falling asleep because that’s what old people just do and it's kinda weird and sad but oh well. So anyway at least I couldn’t see that otherwise maybe the Breezy might have felt bad? Probably.

But anyway so I was blabbing away, getting into my stories, and I was talking about my mom (the talk subject was on family) and I was talking about how much I loved her, and how tight we are, and in the talk I said this: I’m so glad my mom is serving her mission nearby so that I can still see her occasionally. Because me and my mom are like THIS. And then I did the cross your fingers thing (see pic). And after I did it, I started to panic, thinking did I really do that during a talk? The cross your fingers thing? I’ve never seen anybody do that before!! Yes, I really did do that, in an official, very important meeting, people are listening to me and I’m supposed to be legit and I’m talking like a 14 year old ohmygosh I’m so embarrassed make me stop oh geez I can’t stop because I can’t see the clock I really wish I had my glasses eeeehhhhh I guess I’ll keep going I wish my street cred could help me at church I’m lame okay things are better I think I’m starting to dissociate.

I ended up blathering away for 25 freakin minutes. Holy shat.

So glad it’s over.

FAMILIES.ARE.AWESOME. That’s all I should have said. No finger crossing, no blabbing, no nothing. Three words would’ve sufficed. Oh dear. What a roughie.

And here, just for fun, is a pick of ‘Lil C in nursery. He hated touching the play-doh with his hands, it made him feel nervous, so he’s got a little play fork and knife and was poking away. My poor, sad, OCD child!! What to do, what to do…

Have a great day folks.

(oh and PS I'm so behind on blogs, be patient with me, I'm getting there, I swearsies!)


Kara said...

I HATE giving talks. Good fro you for even getting up there and doing it. Sounds like your talk was entertaining - which I think is important in sacrament meeting. :)

jana bananas said...

Ha, Cade not liking the feel of Play-Doh reminds me of our Color Me Mine experience, where you couldn't touch the ceramic because of the way it felt and sounded. ;)

licketysplit said...

I'm am also DEFintely not a fan of giving talks. Holy majorly ridiculous anxiety. And I'm willing to bed that the congregation quite enjoyed your talk (even the finger crossing thingy part).

tawny said...

Oh I am laughing so hard right now...I don't know if it's because I'm imagining you talking in church to the old folks flashing the "tight" sign or if lil C's OCD of the play I love that kid. He makes me laugh.

btw, thanks for the invite to your ward...I would of loved to come to see are a better speaker than you give yourself stop shattin.

cya tomorrow at Ang's sec sis lunch...xoxo

Pattie Cordova said...

LOL... your bebe is hilarious

At least your speech didn't have air quotes... right? (please tell me it didn't have air quotes!)

brie said...

Okay, crap. I'm searching my memory, and as far as I can remember, there were no air quotes, but shoot - I did dissociate for like the last half...after the "tight" sign was flashed, I was just ruined!

I'll check with B on this to confirm no air quotes were made! ;)

HAFC said...

I could never ever in a million years give a talk in front of loads of people...sleeping or not!

Also, are there other kiddos in nursery with little C? He looks so alone and alienated sitting there in that corner....I momentarily felt sorrow for the little guy. He seems so social, I bet he'd make a ton of friends.

Standing in the Rain said...

Dude i totally hear you on the good kind of soreness after you know, NOT being sore forever.

And i think it's cool that you can blabber in front of lotsa people. i'd freak out. so hey, atleast you did it and it's over ;)

Courtney said...

I wasn't there but I'd bet a pretty penny your talk was fabulous. But I CAN relate to feeling like you've completely embarrassed yourself at church. In fact, I just finished writing a blog about a horrific experience I had teaching Relief Society yesterday. UGH, maybe I should just become a Buddhist monk where I can worship in total isolation!

HAFC said...

Oh, and I too sometimes do wishful thinking that if I close my eyes nobody else can see me either. : ) Just a little weird trick I brought into my adulthood...kinda lame though....but, oh well.

Penny said...

At first read, I was kinda proud that you talked of me and even indicated how tight we are but now I am kinda worried about it being a gang sign? So no worries, I'll try to give the sign all around town to all I meet and make it seem real popular. BTW I'll bet those old ward people loved your talk and Big B's and are happy that sweet, beautiful and good people have moved in among them. You go, girl!

jana bananas said...

Because of you I want a ripstick. For NO reason. I'd never even heard of this death contraption before. Well when I visit you, I will try yours and surely break a bone or three and we'll have fun laughing at the ER.

Laura said...

First of all, I can believe you can ripstick! That is amazing. I am afraid to stand on the darn thing.

Second of the finger crossing! I totally get the feeling you had after you did it. I ran into Simon Cowell (American Idol) at the book store, and told him, "Simon, I just want to tell you that I love your show. I think you are GREAT"...and on the word GREAT, I went and gave him TWO THUMBS UP.

TWO THUMS UP!!!!!!!!!
I had NEVER done that before!!!!!!!!!!
What a loser!

satisfiction said...


This is awesome! Yay ripsticking fun. You know, you're inspiring in so many ways, just by being you and living and having fun. And hey, even by getting up there and rambling. So what if it wasn't the best speech?


Paige said...

Oh man Brie, you can always make me laugh. I loved the visual of you crossing your fingers in front of all the old people...I'm going to steal that next time I have to give a talk.

Brooke said...

I would not even think another thought about it! I would have loved to see someone actually "normal" at church. GO GIRL!