Friday, January 23, 2009

Commence the Soiling

I’ve had several chipper and, like, totally awe-inspiring posts up recently…but…alas…

NOT TODAY. This post is totally going to soil my High Number of Consecutive Happy Posts Garden. Le cry. I hate soiling things. I'm such a soiler.

Balls. You know, I think that no matter how well I remember to take my anti-freak pills, I’ll just get down and anxious anyway, irrevocably, at some point. It’s just gotta be cyclical, and I can’t get out of it no matter what I do. I can distract for awhile, (reading blogs, anyone?) and I can go to work, and I can dance with Cade or talk dirty to my cats…but still, just beneath the surface, is the sad yucky grossness. Make it stop!!!

I’ve had a headache for over 24 hours. And it’s bigger than my growing bum-bum.

And I slammed two of my fingers in my desk drawer at work today, and it looks all squished and sad and it’s made me even more unhappy.

And I have no plans tonight.

And Big B is going to be gone ALL DAY tomorrow, so I’ll be alone trying to entertain a toddler, which means I’ll watch Spongebob Squarepants approximately 13 times and try not to scratch out my eyeballs and/or burn something down.

Plus I’m still a bad person from the Krispy Kreme incident.

Will someone tell me a joke, or find me a black bag, or something? Stop sitting there and HELP!!

14 comments:

Kara said...

Don't worry about soiling your "happy record." I want to hear from you no matter what's happening and how you are feeling. I love reading your unhappy posts as much as I like to read your happy ones. The point is that I like reading about YOU no matter what you say.

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. I wish I could think of an amazing joke that would take everything away.

Not that I should be feeding your Diet Coke habit - but getting a 32 oz Diet Coke usually takes some of the sting away for me. Of course, it doesn't really get at that hurt that is below the surface like what you are talking about. I"m sorry you are in pain - hang in there.

Lisa said...

I second Kara in that your posts are always worth the reading, even when they don't try to put a happy spin on your sadness and worries.

Your cats appreciate the dirty talk. Your little guy, someday, will appreciate the time you spent watching inane cartoons with him. And we, your readers, appreciate your blogging.

Also you are NOT a bad person for clogging a toilet. Be proud. Take pictures.

brie said...

Lisa, thanks for the laugh. I should've taken pictures of my clogging fiasco. It would have blown ya'll away!

And do you have a blog? I can never get access to your profile!

And Kara...thanks for the comment, too. I appreciate that *you* appreciate my happy AND sad posts.

xo

Kara said...

I wanted to add:

"Say Yes to the Dress" is my favorite show and it's on tonight at 10pm EST on TLC. I don't know what time it will be on in SLC, but you should watch it!

Also - I have a horrible clogging-the-toilet story. I was on my mission at this woman's house who we were teaching. She had a lot of physical ailments and wasn't very mobile. Anyways, I went to the bathroom and flushed (thank the high heavens I only went number 1) and right before my eyes the water line started getting high and higher and higher. I was panicking, I knew that there was some switch or lever or button some where to turn off the water, but I didn't know what to do. The pee water came gushing over the sides of the toilet and flooded the ENTIRE bathroom. I ran out of the bathroom screaming "Help the toilet overflowed!!!" This practically immobile lady JUMPED up (I kid you not) and SPRINTED to the bathroom. She worked her magic and turned off the toilet, but there was already three inches of pee water EVERYWHERE. I cannot describe in words the embarrassment I felt. She didn't want me to help her clean up, she just wanted us to leave. Gulp. It was horrible. So, in summary, I understand your pain.

Courtney said...

Cyclic anxiety sucks. So does being husband-less for the day...my hubby was gone for a couple days on business this week and I barely survived without him. (Is that bad? Does that mean I'm co-dependent? Aghh, all those crazy fears CFC implanted in my head!)

If it makes you feel any better I've had a poopy (literally) day myself. I won't bore you with all the details, but lets just say my little dude managed to aim his projectile poop right in my face. Nothing like starting the day off with poop for breakfast!

I wish there was some way to avoid the crappy days--it's frustrating because after having some good days the bad ones usually feel even worse. Hang in there. You deserve to just chill and take care of yourself. And if anything, know that your blogging helps me (and many others I'm sure) feel not quite so lonely and crazy in my own hard times.

Krista said...

Dearest Brie,
The words bum bum made me laugh! If you want to do something tomorrow let me know. We could take the little tykes somewhere to play. I bet the two could party pretty hardy if they got together.

You want to know a funny word? Argyle! Say it over and over and over again until your anxiety subsides and all you can do is think of how weird the word Argyle is. Argyle! Argyle! Argyle!

Anxiety Sucks!

Courtney said...

P.S. Having a kid has given me a whole new level of respect for what an amazing mom you are!

tawny said...

Oh girl, No need to sit home and be bored tomorrow...let's have a sister lunch or brunch, dinner, what eva! Seriously let's get you out!! I would love to come see your house too!! K! and I have a monster headache too but I think it is b/c I just hosted a bday party with 14 kids at Chucky Cheese! BTW, Cade had pizza and some cake...I think "Chucky" scared him a little! :)He is so dang cute!!

Heth said...

I wish I had a joke for you...I truly do, but my noggin' is a little sloggin' lately, as you well know, and I'm not reall "with it" most of the time. I encourage you to go out with your sisters tomorrow....have human contact with someone other than a toddler. : )

I think your posts are great whether they're funny or sad.....they always cheer me up, that's for sure. But I hope that writing them is also doing something for you...even on the bad days.

If it makes you feel any better, I had an anxiety attack at the Neurologist's today and he upped my narcotic pain killer to three times a day rather than one!!! So, here I am in happy land, and loving every second of it. I hope you can find your happy land soon too....I know it, I'm a cheese ball. : )

kristin said...

I love you no matter what you blog. If you're happy, if you're sad, if you're bored, if you're clogging toilets.. no matter what!

I hope that you start to feel better and that Spongebob isn't too much of a torture for you.

Hang in there, ok? Take care.

love, kristin

Arielle Lee Bair said...

Sometimes happiness is overrated. :)

Writing about a funk can put it in perspective and make you feel better. So, one up for you!

Sending you some positive energy. I know how it feels, and hopefully that's help enough.

Much love,
Arielle

satisfiction said...

Hey Brie. I tried to post this before but for some reason it didn't go through. :( I hope you feel better now (I love you, happy posts or sad pots) but if you could still use some cheering up I have some short bits of comedic delight via YouTube for you. The first one is Steve Patterson talking about Enrique Iglesias... he does a little spoof of Escape which makes me snort with laughter. The second is ...well bad quality, but damn funny. It's Tommy Tiernan talking about wanting to be a woman because of how they're always there for each other, and if you're feeling down, you can totally pretend you've got the herd of women he talks about.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=L5-46lISiGY

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=s3RilarkqE8

-Lindsay

Penny said...

Its hard to help you when you are the helper to us. The pic of the big red sad face just keeps staring at me as I write to you adnd I want to burst out laughing. Its cute and funny and its hard to stay down and very out after being able to read one of your posts. So, if it is any consolation to you, you make my day brighter every day. Even thinking of the word "soiler" How did that come to your mind? I do not thinlk your brain is as malnourished as some think itis to be able to think creative words like that one. Truly never seen it used that way. And "soil" was abig in my life as I changed probably 65,000 soiled cloth diapers and I will never forget that!

Brooke said...

If you ever are bored and alone or anything. Call me. I always think you're busy. Especially with Whit.there. We could play.....