Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Resolutions: Rah, Rah, Rah!

Well kids, it’s New Years Eve, so we know what that means. Yes! It means it’s time to make resolutions for the new year, set the bar way too high, NOT achieve them, and forget about them by March – April if you’re a real go-getter. (Go you, by the way!) I’ve been thinking about this long and hard (that’s what she said) for the past five minutes and here are my resolutions:

1. Don’t shop for clothing that I do not need. Last year I made it until February 1st. I’m hoping that this year I can make it to March 3rd. I’ll keep you in the know.
2. Yoink the tube for good before I turn 89. This is actually a resolution that should last oh, about 65 years. Slow and steady wins the race though, don’t ya know?
3. By next week I want ya’ll to be able to say CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RECOVERY. I’ll stamp a giant cured in my file and call it a day. I’m almost there!
4. Narrow down the amount of Black Bag days from 350 to 250.
5. Figure out what the hell an affirmation is and how it’s actually supposed to help me progress to the day next week when everybody will throw me a CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR RECOVERY party.
6. Be happy about my calling at church. Big B and I were just called to teach the 3 year olds. How is that possible, exactly? Pretty sure they don’t want to sit for 30 minutes and hear all about Jesus and The Plan ‘n stuff. Also, truthfully, small people make me nervous. I feel wary around them as I would around one of those inbred $1000 dogs that yip and could strike at any moment. What if I step on one of them? This is a valid question. I mean, I like kids, but mostly just the ones I’m related to because I’m obligated, haha.
7. Maybe take less Mental Meds? I’d like to wean myself off of some of them, but it makes me sceeeeeared because one time when I tried my cat lost an arm. Scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.
8. Acquire a houseplant and do not murder it. Try to remember that it is not plotting my demise. I’m wondering if this is possible. I’ve kept my kid alive for more than 2 years, but not sure I can do the same thing with a plant. They can be conniving and evil.
9. Talk in therapy about why I’m afraid of houseplants.
10. Eat more, exercise never.
11. Blog all year, bitches!

What are your resolutions? Tellemetellmetellme!
(And I hope you have a fantastic time tonight. Get crazier than a paranoid schizophrenic off his meds!) LOVE YOU!!


Kara said...

My resolution is to make resolutions! I don't know what I want in life so I have no goals... I'm told that's not good. Haha.

Heth said...

I used to do this.....but not until about March or so. Then, I'd promptly forget them. If I could sum up all my resolutions, it would that somehow everyone on earth could be happy for once and truly enjoy life. And no, I'm not being a good-two-shoes, I'm serious!

Laura said...

to be in control...physically, mentally, financially.

Happy New Year Brie

belinda said...

Happy new year honey,
you did well last year on the no shopping til feb 1st ~ i'm going to try and see if i can go a month without it! ha! no seriously.. i am bad - i shop about twice a week for clothing that i really do not need (especially if this weight restoration keeps going how it's going!)

take care.

Brooke said...

Good luck girl! I like the "CURED" AND "RECOVERED" goal. I sure wish that it was that easy to just write those words and wha-la!

But, since life doesnt work that sucks.

I want to break out the shnoppes (sp.?) and yummy drinks....but I better not with the group I'm with. I would definitely be kicked out of the Wilson home! Ahhh.

Leaving The Disordered Life Behind said...

In reply to your comment about not exercising... Remember... Exersice is a good thing when used appropriately and not compuslively. It can be great for the cardiovascular system, strengthening your muscles, reducing depression and anxiety, etc., etc. I have studied years worth of research showing the positive benehfits of exercise- just remember... use in moderation! I once had a therapist, who was also a certified trainer, and used to work at an inpatient facility with people with eating disorders. He told me about having women and girls who were on tube feeds- and having them weight lift. He said that it was a really positive thing.

Anyhow... Keep rockin' it! :)
Cheers for a kick ass 2009!

Emily said...

Exercise is okay in MODERATION. As in, not 20 hours a week, and not even 10. So yeah. :)

Those are some good resolutions. I would love to be able to reduce some of my medication, too. I know I'm not ready for that yet, but I hope that by the end of 2009 I will be ready for sure!

kristin said...

Great resolutions, Brie! I don't have any quite yet, but hopefully I will tomorrow!

Take care! Happy New Years!

love, kristin

zubeldia said...

happy new year to you, my dear sweet friend. Perhaps you can help me with my laziness when it comes to shopping. I literally hate it... and since I need clothes now (NOTHING FITS!!!) I will count on your good instruction.

I just KNOW KNOW KNOW that health is in your reach, poppet.

I love you

Krista said...

I'm glad you added #11 cause you would have a lot of sad blog stalkers after you of not. My resolution is... um... crap I will think of one tomorrow!

jana bananas said...

Is it too late for me to think of resolutions? I think I am going to work on them today. I think 2009 will be a good year for you, my dear. And you deserve it. :)

Kyla said...

great (and hilarious!) list, Brie!

brie said...

oooh, i TOTALLY know exercise is important. i'm just not allowed until i reach my goal weight. but when i do, my doc especially recommends i do it because my asthma is terrible and it strengthens my lungs. so yeah, exercise is gooooooood.

Abby said...

I wasn't thinking that I wanted New Year's resolutions... but now you've inspired me. Watch out. I think I'm going to go blog about it.