Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Hello lovers! How was your weekend? Mine was spent sewing at the madre’s this weekend. I know I know, I can be a party animal. It got a leetle intense.

Seamstresses know how to GET.IT.ON.

I’m almost done though. As a novice bad-A seamstress, I SERIOUSLYOHMYGOODNESSTOTALLYSERIOUSLY underestimated the complexity of curtains. And no, they aren’t just rectangles. I put borders and buttons and loops on them. I did cool things, un-novice-like things. And I definitely paid the price! I just need to head to the craft store today to buy some more ribbon and a fabric marker and I can be done in an hour or two. But, I’m not really done because I’m pretty much in CURTAIN HELL and still need to sew some for the office and kitchen. I’d like to thank all the little people who got me to where I am now. Namely, my niece who I call in an un-intelligible babbling panic while at the fabric store and ruin her Friday night by asking her to work her math magic and figure out how many yards of fabric I need, and also my mom who patiently told me over and over, IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S THE BOBBIN. Thanks my peeps! I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.

It’s totally snowing in the good ‘ol Sick Lake today. This morning it was just a blizzard. Blizzards are BAD because not only do they halt up traffic and thus give me road rage, but they turn my fingernails purple and the veins in my feet purple but it also triggers a blizzard inside me. A blizzard of bad, sad, cold things. I hate the snow. I’m not dreaming of a white Christmas. I’d love to live in LA and have a palm tree for a Christmas tree. My heart is blizzarding snow. Seriously. Sad for me!

All of the sheet rock is put up in our home. We now have walls!! I had this weird paranoia thing going, and I was superduper concerned that my beautiful beasts of burden were going to get sheet rocked into our walls. Big B was patient and tried to explain that our giant kitty lovers who have about a waist size of a good 12 inches or so could in NO WAY fit into the 4 inch opening, but I was sure that my cat’s weight issues were not going to get in the way of their ghastly demise. Fortunately though all the walls are up and all the fluffy lovey dovey jewels are present and accounted for!

You know what’s a weird word? DOUCHE. This is because it seems like it should be spelled DOOSH, but if you spell it that way, you are, in fact, a DOUCHE. What is it, like, French? I'm a Spanish girl. I do not know these things!

I’m scheduled for some outpatient surgery next Monday. Con: semi on bed-rest during the holidays and also juuuust high enough on painkillers that I’ll either once again ask my bro-in-law to go on a walk with me at midnight because my husband’s MEAN or ask everybody, once again, if I’m acting weird and I hope I’m not and I’m so embarrassed guys I just think I’m high am I doing anything weird I’m so sorry!
Pro: painkillers. Although, painkillers aren’t nearly as fun when you ACTUALLY need them, haha.

Okay, time to gosies. I have important, un-DOOSHish things to do. Specifically, I can’t stop saying DOOSHish over and over in my head, and it’s difficult to do anything while repeating that in your head because it turns you into a moron.

Great. CURTAIN HELL, blizzards, and DOOSHish. This day ain’t turnin’ out so great…
PS: Oh, and guys. I think me and Not Fanny Pack are breaking up. She makes me feel like a man! I need a medical device holder that makes me feel feminine! Big B assures me that NO STRAIGHT MAN would be caught dead with her slung over his shoulder, but still. I just don't think it's going to work out. TTYN, Not Fanny Pack. You're just not the right fit. :(


britnielynn said...

Sewing machine hell! I agree with your mom its not you its the fabric. Its always the reason of my frustrations too! I attempted to make my dad a bbq apron this weekend. Grr.
Best of luck with the break up! On to better bags huh! Yay!

jana bananas said...

It's douche, and it means "shower" in French. :)

brie said...

so why and when did it turn into an insult?

brie said...

ahahaha i'm such a loser! i just realized i spelled it wrong!

kristin said...

I hope that your curtain hell soon turns into a curtain heaven. I know I was in bag hell a couple of semesters back. For our final sewing project in my class, we had to make a bag. I made a bag with a beach scene on the front and a yellow lining. It was hell to make, but, despite my several mistakes and flaws, it turned out OK in the end and my mom really, really loves it. I'm sure your curtains will turn out just fine.

Also, sorry to hear about Not Fanny Pack. She was so cute! I hope you find a good replacement.

Take care, Brie! I hope your surgery goes well! :)

love ya, kristin

emily said...

wait, do i really need to explain the american english usage of douche?

umm, remember those awkward summers eve commercials?

think "dirty vag water"

and THAT

is how it became an insult.

Laur said...

everyone is going to wonder what your little surgery is about. ha ha well okay its not that funny but still

Krista said...

Yes what is your surgery about? And I think the word douche must have transferred from the french shower to the American Vaginal shower and turned into and insult from there. The whole process is very dooshish! Thanks for getting the word in my head now.

jana bananas said...

I love using the word douche, calling people douches, douchebags, d-bags, douche nozzles...etc. I'm sure I used it plenty while I was visiting!

Emily said...

I hope your surgery goes okay.

H said...

so, way to go on the curtains...I could barely make a pillow and that was back when I actually KNEW how to sew, well, a little. : ) But, quite seriously, how in the world did you get your cats to pose like that? Do they always lay on each other? That's just way to cute. Atticus stalks the two other cats in my house and freaks all hell out of them and during the night I hear all sorts of clattering and hissing. I want lovey-dovey kitties.....how sad.