Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Meet Not Fanny Pack

I tried for several tender and frustrating minutes last night to upload all my pics from my mini vacay this weekend, all to no avail. My laptop wouldn’t recognize my SIM card, and I was supersuper frustrated. So, until I have time to stop being pissed off and try to figure it out, you’ll get a no-vacay post from the Briester. Stop your weeping, you guys are so lame.

First (and best) item on the agenda:

I have comprared a bag for my tubaliciousness! Behold. She is green and girly and cool and as un-fanny packish as possible. I have named her Not Fanny Pack. Guys, meet Not Fanny Pack, Not Fanny Pack, meet my peeps.

Isn’t she glorious? She’s been doing a great job, as you can see pictured here. She’s perched on my lap, tirelessly toting the life-saving liquid that, I’ve been told, will save my life. So as of right now, the tube is running about 16 hours a day. So, to do the math for you, that equals about 16 hours of suckfest in a day with 8 hours left over to dwell on the fact that the suckfest will begin again shortly. But Not Fanny Pack keeps cheering me on. She’s such a sweetheart.

I don’t have plumbing again. Guess who pees in blue paper cups? Oh, just me, just me! And, to be supercreepy gross, I’ll tell you that I can fill up TWO that I make Brandon throw outside. That’s more than 12 ouncers! But what can Tube Face say? The dripdripdrip makes me need to peepeepee.

So, in my mind, Thanksgiving is kind of a lame boner of a holiday. It seems like one of two things always happen on this holiday: I relapse, or something bad happens. I even blogged about it last year, but it was like a really depressing and weird post so no need to go back and read it, though I think the mere fact I’ve mentioned it will have several of you perusing through last year’s November archive.
I don’t like the smell of turkey. It makes me feel weird. And the consistency of yams makes me want to yam them up. Cranberries (in ANY shape or form, including sauce) is only good to help ease a bladder infection, and that’s only if you’re humiliatingly desperate and are in a 3rd world country or like Siberia and don’t have access to a doctor. And call me a bahhumbugsuckface, but I’d rather just have it be any ‘ol regular Thursday. I really would. But Not Fanny Pack is encouraging me that this year will be devoid of any relapses or bad things occurring. She can also apparently look into the future, which is why I’m thinking the 30 bucks I paid for her was a damn good deal.

You can’t have her, ya jerks, so don’t ask. She’s mine!


jana bananas said...

Way cute bag, twinkletits!

Krystle said...

I love it! Totally adorable, and as for Thanksgiving, I am inclined to agree with its general suckage. That having been declared beyond a shadow of a doubt, I do hope yours goes well. Listen to Not Fanny Pack; she's a smart chickie. :)

Lisa said...

Great bargain on the bag. It's very cute!

When my dad was little, he'd go on vacations to Florida with his cousins and uncle. It's a rather long drive, and his uncle MADE THEM ALL PEE IN PEANUT-BUTTER JARS. No stopping!

kristin said...

Not Fanny Pack is totally cute! I'm in love! Where did you get her? I am on the hunt for a new bag like Not Fanny Pack! :)

Take care, Brie. Have a good Thanksgiving! :)

love, kristin

brie said...

kristin, the bag is a Harajuku Lovers (gwen stefani's brand)and it was normally like 80 bucks and i got it at Ross for only 30. they have tons there so you should check it out. i think Ross is a national chain?

Kara said...

I love the bag! And I love it even more that you got it for such a steal. I hate Thanksgiving too. I'm not a big turkey fan. Then good thing about Thanksgiving... at least you don't have to go to work!

Danielle G. said...

I love Not Fanny Pack Brie! And as for Thanksgiving.. Hells ya! It sucks. I have to share my bday with bunch of other family members I can"t stand and want to puke if I even smell Turkey!!! Boooo

jana bananas said...

I hope that I can make your Thanksgiving a little less sucky with my awesome presence. Did you know that I hate the holiday too? We can be anti-Thanksgiving together -- well, at least for half the day.

And then we can spoon in my hotel bed.

Jackie said...

I can't wait to meet you Not Fanny Pack!!!

racher said...

we worked hard to find not fanny pack. i even went into tjmax where it always smells like puke and i had to hold your soda and risked having someone say something to me like "no sodas in here!" hard work, but very successful.

alana.rachelle said...

I can't believe you found yourself an uber adorable harajuku tote for $30! Crazy! Let's go shopping soooon mmkay?! Loves to u babe!

Laura said...

Gwen Stefani was on line to see Santa behind my friends tonight. Just an FYI.

Kyla said...

way cute bag. happy thanksgiving! Sending you good, non-relapsy vibes.

ania said...

Your TJMaxx smells of vomit too?

Wow, that's the very reason I've not been in that store in since first poking my head in the door 6 or 7 years ago.

How is that possible?

Never mind.


Brooke said...

I just threw up in my throat. I am eating pumpkin pie and you are peeing in cups.Remember my offer to come and stay with me. I have a pull out couch and plumbing.