Friday, November 7, 2008

My Tummy No Likey the Tubey

Hold on, folks! I'm about to reveal a major mythbuster, here:

MYTH: If one has an NG/NJ feeding tube in, and they vomit, then they will throw up the tube as well.

Alas. I was a believer in this myself, seeing it happen to many a fellow eating disorderian.

FACT: You can totally ralph and keep the tube in, too.

AN ILLUSTRATION: I didn't feel well. Big B and I were en route to comprar some saltines. We were nearly to the gas station when I shrieked for him to pull over because I was so going to toss some cookies.

15 seconds later:
gag gag ralph vomit pause for breath spit vomit gag spit
afterward
my first thought: I feel better!
my second thought: Hey. The tube didn't come out! It's a Christmas miracle!

15 minutes later:
gag gag ralph vomit pause for breath vomit spit gag pause for breath vomit some more ralph curse the kitties for staring at me while I do something as personal as puke breathe ralph lose it toss some more cookies
afterward
my first thought: I feel better!
my second thought: Don't think about glazed donuts or else you'll throw upDon't think about glazed donuts or else you'll throw upDon't think about glazed donuts or else you'll throw up glazeddonutsglazeddonutsglazeddonuts SUCK
and then
heave gag vomit
my third thought: I better get Big B to clean this up.
my fourth thought: Hey. The tube didn't come out! It's a Christmas miracle! Two Christmas miracles in one night? A record!

Here's to hoping I will get THREE Christmas miracles in one night. My wish? That I will throw up no more...

12 comments:

H said...

Thanks for the laugh. : ) Do you have the flu or something?

Devon said...

Awww man...

We all remember my incident - good to know for my peace of mind that there is hope of Christmas miracles and it staying in - phew.

Love you - here's to hoping you feel better mucho soon :(

Krista said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I do that same glazed donut thing except with chicken sandwiches. My sister and I always say "it's a christmas miracle" too. In a munchkin voice. I don't know why. This post made me laugh. Sorry you had to puke to make me laugh.

Kyla said...

wow, you make something as sucktastic as throwing up hilarious. loves it. sorry your sick hon :( suck

Jackie said...

I looooove you honey buns - sorry you are sicky though. Call me if you need an escape from the sucky world of glazed donuts.

xoxoxoxox

Brooke said...

Sometimes life just sucks girl!Sorry for your hard time right now!Love you!

jana bananas said...

My theory is that this time they used a special glue to keep it stuck to your innards, because they known you are prone to taking it out! Remember, keep the cats away!

Emily said...

Feel better, Brie!

Courtney said...

Wow, I am totally impressed. Puking and keeping the tube down is a skill I don't think I could ever master. I'm sorry things have been so hard. Just remember, you're still fighting and that's what really counts.

kristin said...

Sorry that you were feeling so sick, Brie! :( I am glad that your tube did not come out!

Take care! Feel better!

love, kristin

jana bananas said...

I hope you're done with the yacking.

ania said...

Hi, Brie.

I hope your body is able to hold on to some nutrition. That's a pretty compromised state to be in for too long.

Keep doing the best you can, okay?

With so much encouragement and support....