Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Good Women

You know I’ve been moaning and hissing around for awhile; complaining that my treatment team was MAKING me gain weight, or MAKING me eat or do this or that. But you know what? That’s giving them FAR too much credit, and not giving me nearly enough. No one can make me do anything.

I can choose to eat or not. I can choose to live, or even die. I can choose if I’m going to recover, if I’m going to live a life full of laughter and joy and happiness and peace. No one can take that power from me – that power of CHOICE. And when I think of it from that perspective, it makes recovery and doing what’s right SO.MUCH.MORE appealing – because who wants to get dragged through an agonizing process of weight restoration and straightening out your crazy brain that swims laps around the anxiety pool unwillingly? By choosing to do so, it’s so much more manageable and attainable and appealing.

For so long I made myself powerless. Powerless to food (or lack thereof) and my disorder…and crap I even LOOKED powerless – hell a 13 pound baby with biceps and a loaded diaper could’ve taken me down – and I told myself and the world simply by the way I looked that I couldn’t do life; I couldn’t recover, because I was a slave to anorexia. And I was.

But I’m not anymore. I am powerful. I am woman. Hear me roar, bitches!

RAWR!!

We are women of power. And that’s beautiful. Never, ever forget to own that.
Because that’s something to be proud of.

23 comments:

allegri said...

Amen sista! OWN IT! You can do it babes!

Amber Rochelle said...

I don't comment much, but I've been lurking around your blog for a while now. I love love LOVE this post. It annoys me to no end when people tell me "it's a choice...you just need to do it." But in reality, it is a choice...Life is a choice we have to make every single day...and really we're the ONLY ones who can choose it. Keep roaring...you're worth it!

dietcolagirl said...

strong women. you certainly are one of them. :)

Alexandra Rising said...

It's National Women's Month [something like that]...how fitting :)
More importantly: it was a lovely and empowering message that your wrote.

malpaz said...

THAT WAS AWESOME! when i made the realization not having any support team or doctors that i control my mind, i control my food and i control my destiny in recovery. with me responsible i sure as hell would like to succeed!

alriggells said...

I love this post. Thank you so much. Much needed and well put.

Katilexis said...

hell yeah Brie! you've finally realised how awesome you acutally are :D

Stacy said...

*rawr!*

Laur said...

LOVE IT!

Ms. Jess said...

RAWR!!! GO! GO! GO!

CG said...

ya. you do rock, that's for sure.

Heather Lindquist said...

Yeah!!! You ARE in CONTROL! The word "choice" is so much more than just a word. It's a novel. I'm so glad you're making it YOUR novel. You can do it!

Oh, and I'm glad you found out how to blog even though your work is being weird about it all. Do you have to do it from home now?

Heather Lindquist said...

I had to look again at that pic on your blog (I like it and think it's TOTALLY FREE-ING and appropriate), but....is that, like, her booby sticking out? I hope I'm not being too weird...just with me not having much boobage anyway, that was like the first thing I noticed. Hmmm...I'm thinking like my husband now....always the boobs, always the boobs. Okay, I'm embarrassed now.

Kara said...

Thank you, Brie - I really needed this post today. I just found out I'm starting a new program and I really needed to be reminded that I always see myself as helpless and hopeless. You are right though, I have the power and the choice. Thank you, oh wise master. :)

brie said...

haha yeah...heather...i think those are her boobs. ;) but i love that she has a booty and is just all curvy like a woman should be.

t. said...

yay! i pink puffy heart powerful brie!

and if i had boobies like that, i'd totally frolic in the snow topless, too. well, no, i wouldn't, but that's cause it'd be cold and junk. maybe only if someone triple dog dared me.

maybe.

Alexandra Rising said...

Hey Sel-
Unrelated to this post, I voted, 'I would if I lived in the same state'. I am so serious. If you held it the week of March 22...I wouuld fly to Utah for the memorial, too. Spring break, you see. But no matter what, Id hold the memorial in my heart <3
Love,

Dem

Heather Lindquist said...

LOL..yep, I like that she has curves and a booty too. I guess that's a rarity in the modeling bizz. : )

Samantha Kay said...

Good girl.
SO proud of you for realizing.

now.is.now said...

so true! When I realize that we have a choice in this... all of the sudden it makes us have a responsibility.. .a responsibility to intervene in our own lives...

As my therapist says, "we are always voting." When it comes to lunch and you sit there trying to decide if you should eat or not, by default, you are deciding not to eat. You are deciding not to eat until you decide to eat. Do you follow?

We are always voting. We are always shaping our lives. Thinking of it that way makes us very empowered... which is good and scary... but, really, it's a goo thing.

Sorry for the convoluted comment. I can't really articulate myself very well right now.

Dianne said...

It's sort of my mantra, little one. I feel so empowered by the fact that no one can make me do anything. I'm a grown-up. My choices are mine. I need to own my choices. I don't need--or want--anyone to tell me how to live my life or what to eat for breakfast. When one starts to live life for herself and those she loves-loves-loves, walking the happy path is easier.

I love my path! And I believe that as talented and sensitive and thoughtful as you are, you will love your own path, too.

Penny said...

I like that. She is empowered by the fact tht no one can make her choices for her or force her to live a certain way. I wish that I had these thoughts when I was your age. Times really were a little different then and I am so psyched that women now have all the power in the world. No one or no one tradition is holding us down or back. I wonder what i would have chosen if I would have felt free earlier in my life? No regrets for you now as you do. have. your. life!!!

Sheryl said...

F YEAH!!! RRRAAAAAWWRRR!!