Friday, October 30, 2009

Pumpkins & a Group Therapy Pickle

Hope all you kids are going to have a great Halloween weekend. Because the most scintillating thing I do nowadays is shave my legs and take C to the library for story-time, I have of course been invited to no parties. BUT it will be fun taking C trick ‘o treating. I will post some pics later this weekend of our foray, so stay tuned.

So last night I had quite the interesting experience in group therapy. I will admit I am not a fan of group. According to my T I cannot handle “normal human emotion,” which means if you start crying in group I will be mortified for you and consequently want to get up and leave, or stare at the wall and pretend that I am in Fiji parasailing nude. In fact I had sent my T an email last week after group and told her that I wasn’t going to group anymore because when [insert name of cute lady] started to cry last week I kind of wanted to die, and also it’s really hard for me to talk about serious stuff in there and not crack some joke or something; preferably a DIRTY one. …So then she looked at me with her piercing green dagger eyes and made me feel like I’m never gonna recover or whatever if I don’t go, so I guess I’ve decided I’m going to give it a try. Again. Well, at least until last night happened…

We had a new group member. I will call her S, when actually I was so freaked out by the whole thing I’m pretty sure I’ve repressed her name, and that’s not her first initial anyway. She’s just a little baby – only 13. She just got out of treatment in Argentina (don’t ask I don’t know) and has started OP with my T. Well, in productive group therapy, it’s important there be rules, you know? And the GIANT-no-shit-Sherlock rule that should be a no-freakin’ brainer should be no talk about your lowest weight, or what you weigh now, or no talking about specific ED behaviors, etc, because that could get triggering (peew! peew!) and really that’s not helpful or the real issue, anyway.

I don’t think she got it. At first it was funny because she was talking about how in her old group, “There were like ladies that were sooooo old, like TWELVE years older than me!” And I looked at her, and said, “I AM twelve years older than you. Yeah, sorry.” I can’t believe this little toddler had an eating disorder – it made me sad and just seems insane, you know? And then she talked about how she cries when she even has to eat carrot sticks, and then another girl interjected that she’s cried eating marshmallows before, and then they HIGH-FIVED. (and I threw up in my mouth) And I was really anxious and wishing I was nude parasailing and please should I walk out no my T will KILL ME but this sucks what should I do aaeeeeehhhhh…? (shiver.) (and whimper.)

She also asked another chick, “What do you have?” (Meaning are you A or B?) Holy oh my moly if I could have taken a picture of my T’s face and somehow kept it anonymous and posted it on this blog I would have. Because it was a classic.

So now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go to group because I especially felt last night that it wasn’t beneficial at all, it was more just listening to this girl’s bragging rights regarding her anorexia. And she’s young, and probably inexperienced, so I probably shouldn’t be too hard on her, and my poor T kept trying to bring it back from “Eating Disorder Land” but really this little fetus gave her a run for her money! And Brie was suuuuuper uncomfy. Like, very much so. What should I do regarding this whole sitch? Discuss.

I will now leave you all with two photos that my sis-in-law texted me last night around midnight. IT MADE MY NIGHT. And even my 3 year old could see how ridiculous Twin looked. See, Brett’s decided he wants to be a pumpkin for Halloween, which really just tickles me because most people over the age of three think that’s really lame. But not Bretty, oh not Bretty.

I especially like the part that snaps under his crotchal region. And getting off pants is hard.

[sorry Brett!]


lisalisa said...

wow, that costume is almost, um, indecent :)

About the whole group thing, I think the kindest thing you can do for this girl is call her out on her shiz. Like, introduce her to the notion that anorexia is NOT COOL and some people are, actually, trying to get better. You might even win some major brownie points with your T. And I bet that you are not the only person feeling this way. Other members of the group will likely second you.

brie said...

lisa thanks for your input, i very much appreciate it!!!

tawny said...


u wrote this before you were coming to my Halloween spooky soup, breadsticks and trick or treatin with the cuz's! wahoooo!!

most everyone is coming...the 6 pack together!! ahhh.

Heather Lindquist said... the costume!

Are you wearing your Snuggie for Halloween still?

And the girl. Wow. I remember there being a really young girl at CFC when we were there. It was kinda awkward and weird cuz she was so immature, but I think once we all stated the obvious (we're not here to discuss recipes for disaster), she came around.

Steven said...

Take the good from your experience and leave the bad. It seems you may sometimes look for an excuse to NOT go. Blaming other people so it's not your fault if you didn't go.
I may be totally wrong because I don't know you personally. Just keep doing your best. Keep going to the T because she can help you.

brie said...

steven i may be finding excuses, sure. i won't deny that. but it's still how i feel and what i go through so chill, okay? you always seem awfully judgmental of people you've never even met before.

crazykenz said...

I've never commented before... but I figured I would jump in :) Um, I would totally feel the same way as you... In some places (I.e. where I live) they have a couple groups for different ages... so the "younger" kids can have a group and the "older" (like, my age... 27) people could be in a group... I think they did that so there weren't those kinds of problems... I don't know what I'd do, or what you should do for that matter........ but ya know, I just wanted to comment.

P.S. That pic is amazing :) Hilarious! said...

Hi Brie!

You might not like these suggestions but, here's what I'm thinking a/b the group situation:

1) You could try to be a leader/mentor to this girl. You could simply say "Let's stay away from specifics about x, y because____."


2) You could talk with your T about it. you said this girl has your T, too, right? Maybe your T will talk to her about how to be a better group member? Or maybe you can ask your T to talk to her about that?

Groups are tricky. It's this balance between not revealing too much (b/c it's not about the "gory details" of the eating disorder) but also revealing enough so that what you're talking about is concrete and relevant enough.

Good luck with it. Stick with it for a little longer.

Also, thanks for sharing the pictures - hilarious!

Sheryl said...

THANKS for the pumpkin pleasurement! That is hilarious!

Yeah, some groups really suck sometimes. But then again, there are some that are INCREDIBLE! When I was going inconsistently I swear I got all the SUCK groups (probably exaggerating) but for real :( Anyway, maybe the solution is to go regularly (like you say you're trying to do) and then hopefully you'll have some kick ars groups and then... well... some groups where kids don't know what the shiz they're talking about! Hang in girl, and good luck!

Oh, and kudos to you for "feeling" in the said group - even if it was super uncomfy - cause that's a real human emotion too!


Steven said...

I appologize. I don't know what you're going through.
My way of dealing with things is a bit out of the norm I guess. I take problems head on so forgive my honesty.
I haven't met you but I do hope things go well for you.

P.s. You judged me just the same.