So Sue Me

About a year ago, Brandon, in frustration, after looking at our financial records, and realizing that I was spending more than $50 a month on books, asked me, “Haven’t you ever heard of the library?” (Frustrated sigh.)

Huh. The library. Though I’ll admit touching yucky pages that can sometimes have that ominous red or green stain on them can be pretty grody, I though, Wow! The library. I can save money and read as much as I want! Now I don’t have to force myself to slow down when reading a book so I finish it in two days instead of one so I can get my $15 out of it and not feel guilty! Whammo.

So I went to the library, like, every other day. And I partook of their amazingness.

And then we moved.

And Breezy lost looooots of books en transit. And a couple DVD’s. And the library kept sending me hate emails, telling me that my materials were overdue. (And I'm like shutup I KNOW stop reminding me!) And then they told me they were lost, and they were angry, and they were charging me the book fees, plus the lost fees, and before I knew it, I had like a $250 FINE.

Well, HELL NO. I just decided to repress the whole bad library sitch and go back to buying. For real, right?

And then, in August, we got a letter from The State. As in, Utah. And they informed me that the library was SUING ME. Are you effing kidding me? The library was suing me for a couple of missing books? How nerdy is that?

So I (Well, Brandon. An unhappy Brandon.) paid the outstanding amount, and the library got over it, and we were all square.

Only, when I tried to access my library account online, it wouldn’t recognize it. And I was sad because even though I’d paid my debt to the frickin’ state of Utah and the library and like society, they still hated me and wouldn’t let me check out books, and I was kinda thinking that was lame. I felt so rejected.

But on Friday, on a whim, I went to the website. Entered in my library information. And I was back, baby. The library no longer hates me! It has welcomed me back into its fold again. I am now free to check out books and worry about germies and read read read as fast as I can.

So on Saturday, I went and got two books. Just two, my gentle readers, because I didn’t want to go crazy and get 3847 books and lose them all again. I had them both finished by last night. (No guilt necessary!) Today I am going back within those beloved walls and checking out more. And I will read them, and be happy. And frolic. And use hand sanitizer liberally.

And I’m sure the library looks forward to suing me. Again. Soon.