Complaining

Hi people. What’s up? How’s everybody? So I’m going to complain now.

I’m good, eh. I don’t know, I mean I really don’t have much of an update other than complaining about pregnancy stuff. The morning sickness is more or less gone (unless I go too long without eating, that’s an excellent way to plummet my blood sugar and make me pukey) but the need to pee is actually, really, incredible. I should win an award for this, no kidding. I mean, my baby’s the size of a lemon (and how does that consequently make my bladder the size of a thimble?) – and how am I peeing so much? It’s actually maybe the single most annoying thing I have to deal with, especially because this frequent urination thing means that I usually have to go in public bathrooms, and really, those are never fun. You should be happy the majority of you are not graced with my freaking-out-OMG-I’m-in-the-bathroom-as-I-write-this-texts-HELP-MEEEEEEE!!!

Also, I have a headache. Or maybe headaches, I’m not sure. It’s like this big long continual one, so I’m not sure how that works. And I really don’t know if it’s a pregnancy symptom, or an ED-related symptom, or what. But only being able to take Tylenol is entirely unhelpful. Sometimes taking Diet Coke helps, which I’m trying now, (with Tylenol) but it’s just sucky because it usually puts me in a pretty rotten mood; not being able to shake this headache. It’s about the size of China, I’d say, and is gaining size and momentum. Soon it’ll be roughly the size of the entire Asian Continent. Boo.

Also, fatigue. Now, if you know me well, you’ll know that I love to nap, pretty much have to, and do, all the time. But the normal fatigue that comes with pregnancy isn’t going away; it’s only significantly making everything worse. I could nap every day for seriously like 4 hours if I didn’t have a semi-life and child to take care of. As it is, every day I nap for two hours – and I don’t mean to be lazy, but really I don’t think I could function if I didn’t – I for realsies mean it. It’s horrible.

Still have a small bump that hasn’t yet turned into a big bump which really only means that it looks like I drank one too many beers, and me no likey the look. If I’m gonna be bigger, I’d rather be big enough that people knew I was pregnant, and not nursing a secret alcohol addiction. It’s annoying.

Still working on eating. I mean, I’m eating, of course, but eating enough to check off all my maddening little boxes. It’s definitely a work in progress, a slow, laborious, work in progress. A miserable, looooooong, torturous, exasperating, frustrating, upsetting, work in progress. You know.

New, official pregnancy craving of fury: SOUR PATCH KIDS. I mean, I’m craving these puppies so much I went to Costco on Saturday and bought an entire giant box of them – for only $12.88, I bought happiness. Who knew, huh? Also, the Sour Patch Kids taste best when eaten with a tuna melt and Cheetos. If you are my friend on Facebook, you know this.

Okay, well there’s my update. I haven’t complained in like a whole week, so I figured it was time again. It’s been rough holding back.