Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I Call Thief!

Some little effer at work stole my lean pocket. I even wrote my NAME on it with a sharpie! How desperate do you have to be to steal a 0.75 cent rubbery breakfast pastry from some poor anorexic girl? I mean really?

My co-worker C had quiche yesterday, and she set it in the fridge in the breakroom with her name on her plate. The culprit yoinked her quiche but kindly left her empty plate in the fridge. And they’ve stolen several of my Diet Cokes. I have a feeling this jerkface was the bully in kindergarten who rifled through my lunch and stole my oatmeal cream pies, too.

Aren’t we all adults here? Holy smokes.

I just made Twin go to the grocery store to get me a maple bar and a banana. It’s no lean pocket, but meh, it’ll do.

Anyway I’m thinking about disguising myself behind the recycling bins in there to see who the thief is – just wait ‘em out, because as assuredly as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, this little punk will steal someone else’s hard-worked for lunch. Maybe I could get a promotion or a trophy out of it or something…I could bring my iPod and my DS and my detective novel. Fun!

Anyway I can’t because I have work to do and I’m growing faint with hunger.

GROW UP LOSER.
and
[take my lean pocket again and DIE]

11 comments:

Eating Alone said...

It must be a group. The food mob is down here too. Scary they are everywhere! You should put up a note on the BB at work that it was injected with pregnacy hormones and if the person wasn't pregnant they need to call their doctor! That'll show em.

James & kristi said...

Same thing happens all the time at my work...hello grow up people!

Amber said...

Nothing makes me more mad than having my lunch stolen! When I worked at the Dr's office my diet coke got stolen every day. Seriously, I wrote my name on the can with a sharpie and it was still gone day after day. Big jerks that think they are entitled hmmmmm. . I think you should try to catch the culprit, play detective and put the jerk to shame!

Heather Lindquist said...

That happened to me when I worked as a teacher in Oregon.
Put one of those cheap alarms on it and it'll scare the crap out of him. He or she deserves it!

Alicia (aka Dr. Mom) said...

LOL! They stole FOOD outa a pregnant womans mouth?!?!? that's cold.

And why the heck are you eating lean pockets? I was like totally stuffin' my face... but that's why I gained like 40 pounds that one time I guess (ive baked 4 buns... only made the weight mistake once :) )

cindy said...

Bake brownies with laxatives liberally added. Put them in the fridge and once they are stolen, start making hourly bathroom checks. Thief caught.

brie said...

you all make me laugh! i heart you and all your comments!!

Courtney said...

I totally think you should inject your food with laxatives. Or sleeping pills or anything that would make their day miserable! The older I get the more convinced I become that some people never really grow up. Some jobs are just like elementary school. Actually, they're more like jr. high--full of drama.

McCall said...

I work at a Junior High and lunches keep getting stolen there too- Even when they're clearly labeled and somewhat hidden! It's unbelievable!

Penny said...

You continue to make me laugh and I am in Europe thousands of miles away? I think that I wish someone would steal my lunch before the cruise is over but hey, I've decided to embraace my inner cruise and go ahead and enjoy? Glad you like maple bars, here we have already twice in a day, butter croissants!

Geosomin said...

Heh...someone did that at work for a while, and as a last ditch effort we baked some delicious "chocolate chip muffins" with chocolate covered exlax baked in and left them out to dissappear. Mean I know.
But after that, noone stole anything anymore...