How has everybody's today been? Mine's been pretty good - I had a ROLLICKING fun time in therapy this morning, and I had lotsa breakthroughs. :) It's funny, I always talk to Husband on the way to my appointments, and as he's saying goodbye to me, he always says, "Breakthrough Honey, breakthrough!" And I try so hard not to disappoint! Although I will admit that sometimes it's hard to stay focused on serious (aka boring) stuff when we could spend the sesh laughing and joking. My therapist kind of makes fun of me, and I make fun of her back, and I am okay with that. If I had an all doom and gloom therapist that wore plaid, one-size-fits all dresses with moon boots and Napoleon Dynamite glasses and was always all serious, I'd be so...unmotivated. Not to mention I'd discreetly drop hints of where she could get some stylish, affordable clothes. I guess what I'm saying is that I have to feel like I can relate to my therapist, so that is why I seem to do better with T's that are 1) young(ish) and 2) have at least SOME semblance of fashion sense, or at the very least don't wear socks with their Tevas. Yeah, all of that, but ESPECIALLY the whole Tevas part. I once had a T who wore white sweat socks with her purple Tevas, and I threw up in my mouth a little every time I saw her. I actually told her once that I thought what she was doing to her feet was atrocious, and she laughed. And continued to rock the socks and Tevas. At least she was comfortable with herself, right, I mean there's a life lesson in there somewhere.
So I had a really awesome thought that I wanted to share with all of you:
This morning, before I got out of bed, I was kind of just lying there and thinking of the day ahead; what I was going to do and the errands I had to run, etc. And I kind of just had this thought really randomly and nonchalantly pop into my head, and it was something like, "I'm going to eat today." And I just had this sense of RELIEF wash over me, that I wasn't going to abuse my body today, and that I wasn't going to have to worry about what I was or wasn't eating, and I wasn't going to have to be so starved and malnourished that all I could think about was food. It was simple. "I"m going to eat today." And I have. And I've felt great. I've had a great day with my family and it's so amazing to have the physical energy and mental stamina to keep up with my kids. To sure, not love the way I look, but not abuse it or punish it as a result.
5 words. 5 words that seem so silly, or something that your average person wouldn't have to think about - I'M GOING TO EAT TODAY - is a life changer for me. A total game changer. It means everything. It means LIFE. And maybe I sound really dramatic, but I don't think so. It really means that much to me.
And, I really really really hope that you can say tomorrow, when you wake up, "I'm going to eat today." Try it. Maybe it will change your life too. :)