And that's kind of where I'm stuck now. I'm really struggling with trying not to (but failing miserably) blame myself for some of Cade's struggles. Cade is a sweet little boy who is kind and thoughtful and goofy and stubborn, and I love all of those things about him, but he's also too stubborn and insecure and self-blaming and immature. And I have no way of really knowing if those things are just an age thing, or maybe a phase, or if it's a product of poor parenting skills. I talked about this quite a bit in therapy today. And after it all, my T remarked that I looked "kind of sad." And I'm like...DUH. Of course I look sad. Because I'm terribly worried about my little guy, and when I bring it all up and start thinking about it a lot (maybe too much) I only blame myself and get into the aforementioned couldawouldashoulda's.
(Picture: Goin to church yesterday. Cade was especially proud of his new tie. :)
So, honestly? There's not much I can do about it other than love him and work with him and nurture him and pray for him. So I'm going to leave it at that for today, and move on. I'm feeling kind of down about it all.
Cade has his last game of indoor soccer tonight, but oh, don't you worry, he starts spring soccer this Saturday, so in case you were all worried about those boring soccer posts ceasing, NO FEAR! You will continue to be able to read about all of his exploits, which are scintillating, I'm sure. Also, he gets a trophy tonight, (as does EVERY KID ON EVERY TEAM) and I think that's just silly. They lost almost every game and they get a trophy? I know it's all about bolstering their self-esteem, but in MY day, I had to WORK for my trophies. (Along with walking uphill to and from school every day, of course.) That may be why I only ever had like one trophy my entire life, but pish, I EARNED it! 1st place in short-story writing, woot!
Mila had a massive blowout today. Her adorable outfit ruined in the blink of an eye (or in the rip of a juicy fart). It was disgusting. That's all. Since I talked so much about Cade today, I figured I should throw a Mila tid bit in there too. I love her even though she craps her pants. :)
That's all. Bye kittens!