Monday, March 12, 2012

Blogxygen Changes on the Horizon

I'm kind of in a grouchy mood about my blog lately.  I have made a tremendous effort over the past couple years to move away from talking about the ED so much, and focus more on family stuff or stuff about me discovering more about myself free from the ED.

And of course I write on Blogxygen because I want to, but anyone who blogs and says they don't care if they get comments on their posts or not is lying.  EVERYONE likes to get comments, to hear from people.  Two, three years ago, I averaged 30 comments a blog post.  Now I average...what?  3?  Maybe 5?  It's just a shame that people responded more to Sick Brie, rather than Healthy Brie.  Doesn't make it any easier to get better.  And, it kinda makes me mad.

Not sure I'm going to post much for the next little bit.  I might need a break.  Because OF COURSE I'm going to continue on my road to recovery, despite what my readers say (or in this case DON'T say) but I guess I just need to be sad and a little mad that being sick is given more attention than getting better.  I'm going to seriously consider going private, and maybe only allow people who are invested in me getting better read.

My life is SO public.  I am having serious reservations about this, especially lately.  I don't like feeling like people read this blog to hear about ED stuff, but I think that's a lot of what is happening.  And I KNOW this isn't what is happening with all my readers, so to those who have emailed or commented and let me know that, I really appreciate it.  It means a lot. 

I guess I have a lot of thinking to do.

44 comments:

Alicia B. Designs said...

I know what you mean about comments. My blog never gets any comments anymore!!! Don't feel bad b/c we all read your blog and love your posts. Your blog is truly an inspiration. You're amazing, you're raising 2 super cute kids, and you just bought a house! I'm a designer so let me know if you have any design questions--I'd love to help. Keep your head up, we're all rooting for you!
xoxo
Alicia

Frustrated Unemployed Actress said...

For what it's worth, I read every entry, whether I comment or not, and I have for years. I read it because it's you writing it, and has nothing to do with whether you're sick or well (although I prefer well, obviously, and I'm really proud of you. I always knew you could do it.) I read it because I've known you virtually since you were 14, and I like to know how you're doing, even though we don't talk much anymore. I also think you're really brave to blog publicly.

I hear you about the lack of comments being frustrating - most of my blog posts get no comments at all, and I often wonder if anyone's even reading them, to be honest. So I will try to speak up more. :)

Erin said...

No clue how it can be explained, but yeah, it sucks not to get comments. Occasionally I get really pissy about it on my own blog.

I'll always read & comment -- you can't get rid of me!!!

Annalisa said...

i was just talking to my hubby about erasing my cyber self and reviving snail mail...because getting all caught up in comments and virtual reality, is way too exhausting. so i hear ya!

if it helps...i like reading about healthy brie better...and sorry for not making more comments to that fact! i'll try to do better.

smiles!!

Erin said...

One thing I will say about my public blog is that I track where my hits are coming from and I get like, one or two commenters. A lot of people are just lurkers. Not that it's a bad thing, although it can also be weird to know you have unknown people reading that never say anything.

licketysplit said...

Hey! I am sorry- I am one of your faithful readers that very rarely leaves a comment. It is more to do with the fact that I think anything I say will be lame, than anything else, but also probably partly because I am lazy. :) Just wanted to let you know that I love seeing how far you have come and reading about your cute kiddos and the other stuff that is filling your life. And I am majorly jealous that you are building your own gorgeous house! I'm super excited for you, I can't even imagine how cool that would be. Anyway, I totally understand your frustrations with your blog and I am sure you will figure out what's going to be the best route for you. Take care!

Alie said...

I also don't post many comments, but I did want to say that it's been great to read about the latest, exciting happenings in your life! The pics of your new house look great! And your kids are just precious! As much as I do enjoy reading about these updates, it's YOUR blog, and I'm sure you'll do what's best for you. Good luck, and take care!

Tylaine said...

I understand what you mean Brie. It sucks and is kinda twisted that people can be so attracted to negativity but when things start going good they take off. Guess that's why there is so much negativity on the news!
I'm sorry I havented commented more. I read all of your posts and totally look forward to them. Your blog is one of the few I read anymore. I love seeing new pictures of your gorgeous family and it is so exciting that you guys are building a new home! I really do wish I had been able to get to know you better in person....I feel like I can relate a lot to things you say (minus the ED)
You're awesome Brie and I hope you keep writing. You have a talent!

Shelley said...

I'm a "lurker" and I only started reading recently. I think you're pretty awesome in general. Keep writing. You have a knack!

crazykenz said...

I love comments on my blog, and yet I rarely comment on other blogs... sad. But I absolutely love reading your blog, and I love hearing about your babes and your house and all that... You being healthy rocks! You're amazing and I don't even know you personally!

CH said...

Hi Brie;
I'm totally guilty of lurking and literally NEVER commenting, but you should know that I think your blog rocks (duh, I lurk all the time) and my lack of commenting doesn't reflect negatively on YOU - it's simply my never having anything that interesting to say, or my desire for privacy.
You have a lot to offer the blogging, and as well as the real, world. Your insight into recovery gives a lot of women hope.
I personally LIKE the fact that you have been able to transition from an ED blog to an "everyday" blog, because it says so much about your recovery - that you are able to focus on other things. That gives hope for women who are stuck right now, that someday, they can think about things other than their ED's, too.
As a person with an ED past who is having a bit of a harder time getting pregnant (oddly, NOT related to the ED), your posts about your babes make me extra happy, because I know how special they are to you. Your previous posts about Kendall really struck a cord in my heart, because although I haven't miscarried, I feel that awful ache for a baby that I can't yet have.
Anyway... I really think you have a lot to offer the world, with your witty writing and insightful words.
You should do what you need to do, in order to keep on trucking through recovery... but I hope that includes a blog! :)
PS - I share your quite obvious love for diet coke. I proudly just came home with 6 12-packs from CVS.

Unknown said...

Hi Brie,

I have been reading your blog for a couple of years. I not only to your long battle with ED but also with the loss of a daughter before birth. I love reading all your posts, mainly the ones where you talk about everything else other than ED. I never comment because I use feedler and because am lazy.
Hope you keep on writing and inspire all of us with your betiful family :-)

Best!

Bee

fabricsandfun said...

Brie, I think I have commented once? but definitely not often. I started reading your blog when I was working with a friend of yours at ED conference at Notre Dame 5 years ago. At the time, I was being kicked out of school for the third time and your posts really kept me upbeat! Even though I never comment (I don't have the Internet at home and I hate using my phone- I only write posts on my blog once a month and they are scheduled throughout the month), I love reading your blog and really relate to it.
I have a 2 year old, a 1 year old, and another baby on the way (I know, crazy!) and love to know there is someone else going through the stages of recovery while pregnant/married/dealing with kids/owning a home.
You really were such an inspiration when I was sent to treatment when our oldest was a baby and I was pregnant with our second, I hated the thought of leaving my little guy but I knew I needed more help for the sake of baby number two.
I relate a lot to what you say- I am in the same stage of wanting all my friends from years of treatment to recover and being in that place of not thinking about food mixed with days of thinking about nothing but ED. Sorry I never comment, I am just super lazy and don't like being public about my struggles (my blog has nothing to do with ED)

Long comment, sorry! I will definitely start commenting more!

Kaylee said...

Hi Brie,
I've been reading your blog for a long time, although I'm shy and haven't commented before. Just wanted to say that I love Blogxygen and can't even describe how thrilled I am to read about you doing so well, especially after a rough time this winter. I follow your posts just as religiously now as I did when you were sick. You're such an inspiration, I really hope you keep writing!
Kaylee

Liz said...

I love your blog so much. I especially love reading about healthy Brie's life, because it gives me hope for my life and recovery. I'm sorry I don't comment much.

KC said...

I always read but barely comment in any public forum, but I hope I've emailed you enough to know I care about you as a person. I think one of the harsh realities of writing is the market--publishers always have to turn down content they love if they don't know how they'll sell it, because otherwise they go out of business. I look at blogging the same way; it sucks but at the end of the day it can (I hope) help to know it isn't a personal reflection but more of the market demand. Either way you are an incredible writer and individual. Hope this isn't too businessy to seem cool--my way of orienting myself in the world is to always think in terms of work, and it's how I keep from getting frustrated when I want a different kind of response, particularly to my writing. I think your writing would lend itself remarkably well to books or articles--you are a phenomenal writer

KC said...

I'm having iPhone comment difficulties and wasnt able to finish my last comment, it froze! So sorry of it came out wrong or unedited. I wanted to say that you are an insightful, hilarious, moving, and skilled writer. Unfortunately he market is fickle, and as writers we all have the challenge of writing what rings true for us and what we care about, and writing to the demand.

KC said...

Wow, my phone is REALLY being a brat! Switched to computer. Anyway, it is wonderful when what we want to say and what the market wants us to say aligns, but when they don't it's so disheartening. I hope I'm not going overboard or that this comment isn't too chilly. It just helps me personally to think of writing in these terms, and know it does't speak to your skill as a writer or passion as a person, and it doesn't necessarily speak to individual readers--but as a whole, when readership sucks it's not really a shortcoming, it's just the disappointing reality of the field. I hear your frustration, hope this helps, sending hugs!

Shannon said...

Girl, I don't get it either. I'm thinking that maybe when you posted more about ED stuff, people felt the need to make a comment to give you encouragement? Obviously, you still need that, but it's not as obvious? I just suck at commenting, period. I rarely even post on my best friends blogs. I don't get comments on my blogs any more either! I think they have been juicy lately, too! I have to remind myself I'm blogging for me, not for other people.

Hope this rambling made sense. If you do go private, you best be adding me!

Katie said...

I love your blog no matter what you're writing about. You are setting such a great example with recovering from an eating disorder. You show each day and blog post that you are a strong woman and are so much more than the eating disorder. Don't stop!

Erin said...

A post about lack of comments yields comments...

Michelle said...

I think you're hilarious! I love reading your blog and love that it is more family focused now. I know we were more just acquaintances in high school, but I feel like I know you as a friend from your blog and FB (similar to getting attached to my "friends" on tv shows.) :) I get what you mean about not getting comments on your blog and wondering if anyone reads or cares. I keep mine for more of a journal but it is nice to get comments knowing that others can relate and care. Good luck with all the upcoming changes and decisions, with moving and your blog!

ohgina said...

Dude, I notice the same thing on my own blog. For what its worth, I only started reading Blogxygen when you were becoming serious about recovery (more serious?) after Mila was born. I read all the time and I get really excited when you post but I get really comment shy sometimes =| out of fear of seeming creepy. Haha.

Anyway, I'm always on your side. Hang in there.

G

Brittney said...

I have been guilty of being a horrible commenter (sorry). I understand why you feel the way you do. I don't get comments on my blog anymore so I figure no one read it so I barely ever post but I hope you keep posting because you are a fantastic blogger :) This is a good reminder that I need to comment more on all the blogs I read. Plus I am excited to see more about your house... I need to live vicariously through you until I get a house to decorate :) p.s. I love your healthy brie posts the best.

I'm A. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

If it makes you feel any better, I read your blog WAY more now then I did when you were so uphappy and sick. In fact, I stopped reading it for awhile because it made me feel a bit depressed. I just never leave comments cuz that's how I roll. I like the happy, healthy Brie lot's better then the other one. AND I love seeing pictures and hearing updates about your cute kids. Don't stop blogging!

Amy said...

P.S- No one ever comments on my blog either. =)

CH said...

"I'm A." - I could be wrong, and I don't want to speak for Brie, or put words in her mouth, but I don't think she meant (and she didn't say) people only "care" about sick Brie, but that people "responded more" often to sick Brie than Healthy Brie.


Brie - obviously I think your blog really rocks, since I'm commenting twice in one night!

I would also point out that perhaps when you first started your blog, your most loyal followers and commenters were girls you knew from treatment or in real life, and who were really rooting for you, and used your blog as a way to see how you were doing - perhaps now you are all in different spots in recovery/life and it's not that your blog is less interesting or less fun, but maybe it is less relateable to all your previous commenters,now that you are doing so, so well? I'm obviously not sure, just a thought :)

Take care of yourself!

tiff said...

i lurk. i think your kiddo's are super cute...and well you are too! i found you via piece of cake...and just come over every once in awhile to live vicariously through your posts...i am not super cute, but i have super cute kiddo's and i an awesome husband...smiles!

i don't look for unhealthy you...just read because you are funny! don't comment cuz' i...just don't!

Stacy said...

I love reading your blog.. and quite honestly I only comment maybe less now because i use google reader and I have to make more effort to pop over and comment. I love healthy Brie. You are a complete inspiration. Love ya girl. some people wont' comment more now because they feel like you are stable and may need support less and yeah some people do feel the need to pay more attention to someone struggling. but recovery is way better and you are a great writer and way fun to read no matter what it is. i love your family posts and the joy and struggles of real life that you have. Hugs girl you are awesome. i know it can get you down to no hear from people who cared so much when you were so sick but people and readers come and go and you are good and your blog is good. know that :-)

Amber Rochelle said...

I don't think you know me, but we have some mutual friends through CFC. I found your blog by accident a couple years ago & have read it ever since. You caught my attention in the beginning because you were hilarious, and I could relate to parts of your journey. You've kept my attention because you're still just as funny, and I respect you even more for going through all you have and still fighting for recovery. You don't even know me and yet you're helping to motivate me.

I rarely comment on any blogs (which is dumb, because I always like comments on my own blog). I find myself writing & rewriting comments to make sure I'm portraying what I want to portray, and half the time I give up halfway through...so I pretty much just lurk & stalk everyone's blog. I hope for my sake that you continue to blog, but I hope for your sake that you'll do what's best for you.

Sairs said...

I know it might feel like no one is reading and trust me, I prefer the healthy Brie. I always read but often don't comment. I like to hear about your life with your family and to hear about what you are doing other than the ED part. Sometimes I just can't write. It's not a reflection but more on how I am going. Don't stop blogging. I would miss your posts :)
Sarah

po said...

Actually I just love reading about your every day life, your recovered life, I just feel strange commenting sometimes because I am not actually in your life as such. I come every day to your site to read about you and your kids.

Annie said...

I love this blog! I love it the most when you are healthy. I don't comment but I will try to do that more if it keeps blogxygen breathing!

Angela said...

I occasionally comment here, but read every post. I personally write my blog for myself, as it helps me to look back on how far I've come. I too, received more comments the sicker I was, but I think it is then that people reach out to help. Sometimes I get my feelings hurt that people don't comment on my poetry, but it is not going to stop me from posting them. You have to weigh how this blog makes you feel. If you are so invested in the comments, then maybe it is not a healthy thing for you. If you do go private, I hope you will invite me. I care how you are doing, good or bad.

Angela

Lindsay said...

hey Brie! Just wanted to let you know that even though i rarely comment, i read all of your posts! Before when you were sick i was too shy and didn't know what to say, and i was also ashamed that i was your "friend" in high school but was apparently too engrossed in my own life to realize you were sick. So i apologize for that (both not commenting and not being there for you way back when!). i'm so glad that you are doing better now and really enjoy reading about your family.

Adam and Cassie said...

I always read your blog because you're real, hilarious, beautiful, and deep. You tell it how it is (the good, the bad, and the ugly) It's so refreshing when compared to reading blogs where families are picture perfect and the sun shines from everyone's butt. Your ED has never defined you, it is something you overcome. I promise to comment more as long as you don't think I'm some weird stalker chic :)

Jacqui said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jacqui said...

Hi Brie!
I read your blog religiously and although I have commented only a few times (because sometimes I'm at a loss for words), your blog has a special place in my heart & bookmarks (for real!). I love your writing style and am totally rooting for healthy Brie.

Ps. I accidentally deleted my comment so here it is again. It's the same exact comment, I apparently don't know how to use a computer.

Keely said...

I used to read your blog all the time (like check it a few times a day for updates..he he) but now I get to it every now and then. Not that what you have to say now is less interesting/not important- I'm just not online as much. I do so much computery typing and scheduling at work that when I get home, I want to look at something besides a computer. This includes eating, sleeping, going to the park, rock climbing, petting my cat, etc.

I took a huge break from my blog (just look at the gaps between posts!) which was both good and bad. I miss the self reflections a bit. I think I grow a little through writing. But also it was a nice break from trying to think of things to write or feeling like I HAD to write and it becoming a chore vs something that I enjoy.

Either way I love to hear from you and if you ever want to hang out, you have my number (i think.) :)

bri said...

I love u Brie and LOVE your blog the way it is now! Love all the pics and hearing about your house. Text or call me soon or ill try u!

Brenda said...

Brie,
I don't think I have ever actually commented before, but I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now - I haven't missed a single post. I enjoy seeing your road to recovery, and reading the posts now about your family and your new home make me so happy. I enjoy reading about Healthy Brie MUCH more than Sick Brie. Just thought I'd break my commenting silence to let you know this!
Brenda

mallorymallorah said...

Brie, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog and being able to follow along on your journey of recovery. I may have commented once or twice, sometimes I want to and just can't put into words what I really want to say! Anyway, I hope you know what an inspiration you are! I would certainly miss your writing if you were to make your blog private. In the end you gotta do what's best for you and I think all of your readers will support that.
Keep smiling :)
Mallory

firefly said...

Hey Bree: I read once in a while. I read all about Kendall. Honestly I actually read more when it's about everyday life. Like the one with Cade and the teacher meeting. I like the everyday stuff. I wish I had the kids, husband etc. I think what has happened is that with keeping up on facebook with everyone, caringbridge families I tend to forget about blogs. I hardly write them myself. Yes, it is true that people like comments and nobody ever comments on mine. That hurts. I'm going to warn you that if you go private people may never find your site. I like reading your site because you are encouraging. etc Hang in there!!! Hugs!