Friday, April 10, 2009

This Is Not an Exit

I’ve never posted song lyrics on my blog before, because in general, I think most people find them probably to be a total yawner and skip over them…I’ll admit I’ve done that a time or two (or 17 dozen times) on other’s blogs...

But I really did want to share with you the lyrics to my favorite song, because it’s literally been my lifesaver right now. Yesterday after work I put it on repeat, curled up with my kitties, and cried and cried. If you don’t want to read all the lyrics, I’ve bolded the last verse, which is the part that really rings true for me (or, at least, I desperately want it to be true for me). I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend downloading this song off iTunes, in fact, the entire album, Stay What You Are, is insane (but in the awesome way, not the bad way).

This Is Not an Exit
by
Saves the Day

Tonight will be the night that we begin to ease the plugs out of the dam.
And we will stand knee deep in the flow, the undertow will grab our heels and won't let go.
And while we hold, our legs quivering, the water rises now to our teeth when we just let go
and sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping our backs.
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that we have
and all the wasted nights and empty moments in our lives are flushed away as we sway with the rhythm of the waves bobbing us up.
Crests fall to troughs as we feel our gills open up
and sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping our backs.
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that we have.

And if the hook set in the bottom of our lungs, we'll rip it out and lick the blood off with our tongues.

Despair could ravage you if you turn your head around to look down the path
that's lead you here, cause what can you change?
You're a vessel now floating down the waterways.
You can take your rudder and aim your ship, just don't bother with the things left in your wake.
Just sail belly up to the clouds, the rocks scraping your back.
To breathe in the air will be the only thing that you have
and your love will be warm nights with pockets of moonlight spot-lighting you as you drift, the actor in this play.
You walk across the stage, take a bow, hear the applause,
and as the curtain falls,
just know you did it all
the best that you knew how
and you can hear them cheering now.
So let a smile out and show your teeth
cause you know you lived it well.

12 comments:

Brooke said...

Brie. You're amazing. You are starting to look for the best in everything around you. Your g. doc from the hospital, Grey's Anatomy message and now this song. I was kind of kidding about your gas. doc., but seriously.

My point being - you are looking to get better. Even if you aren't consiously aware. It's like when you learn a NEW word that you've absolutely never heard before and then you start to hear it everywhere. On the radio, tv, or maybe overhearing a co-workers conversation.

Relate it to this. You are really starting to get better and your ears and mind and heart are openly tuned into that. So all of these positive things I have been reading on your blog show me that you are looking for the good in your life and peace, joy, and healing. You can do it. You deserve it!

Love you. Sorry if I lost you in this analogy. It made sense in my head. :)

brie said...

Brookie, it was awesome. I think this reply made up for all the heinous hair-pulling you did to me as a kid, haha.

Love you.

Pattie Cordova said...

Great song. Happy to hear that you cried... in a totally good way. Crying is such a great way to release all the bad vibes.

Standing in the Rain said...

oohh i may have to get it off itunes. (and i'm cheap, so that means a lot.)

thanks for sharing chiquita!

ps....how's belly acid leaking going? you feeling ok these days? you know, besides being curled up in a ball crying?

Krystle said...

I may have to get this song...

You rock!

*hugs*

brie said...

ahahaha! see! told you! nobody comments on "lyric posts!" KNEW IT!! ;)

whatever i get it's lame to everybody but me. it's all good!

jana bananas said...

It's fun when you find lyrics that really speak to you, your life, and where you are. But I've found that what makes it amazing for us doesn't usually make it amazing for other people. That's kind of what makes it special.

Cammy said...

Nobody? Ha, usually I am thrilled to get 7 comments on a post. ;)

Thanks for sharing the song, I needed this today. One more addition to my Recovery playlist. Hang in there, Brie, you have been through so much recently, I have a ton of respect for you. Take care and treat yourself kindly, have a good weekend.
love,
C.

Krista said...

Brie, Just catching up on your blog. I love this song. It has so much meaning to it. I hope you are doing ok and hanging in there. Oh and P.S. you totally made my appointment with Julie late last Friday cause you came in to talk to her! I knew it was you cause she said a past patient of hers came to visit and was telling her about your lung problems.

jana bananas said...

9 comments (now TEN) is not "nobody!" you freako post bitch. :) I'm lucky if I get like, 3.

Afterglow05 said...

They're at least some good, meaningful lyrics, Brie!

Ps. I tried to follow you on twitter but your link isn't working. What's your sn?

Penny said...

I am so proud of both my daughters! One, proud is for Brooke who wrote an amazin dialogue to you and I was touched as she tried to explain to you that you are getting it or getting over it or whatever! And you also, Brie, for feeling these amazin feelings; I remember when you allowed only numbness in your life. Thanks for sharing that incredible lyric with us all. I can't wait to hear the song again.