Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Donut Dilemma

Yesterday I ran into The Sev to grab a donut. I grabbed a chocolate, but dropped it because I’m lame. So of course I’m not going to buy a filthy gas station floor germy donut, right? But I didn’t want to leave it on the floor, because that seemed weird, so I picked it up, intending to throw it away. But then I stopped: what if the employees there saw me throwing away their chocolatey merchandise and made me pay for it? Well that’s a giant hellz to the no on that one, right?

So, in a panic, I throw it somewhere closest to me: the rack where they hold all their potato chips.
Because a chocolate donut amongst Fritos and Baked Lays is way less weird than a dropped donut on the floor.

I bag another donut (less germy, I hope, and certainly nowhere near the Cheetos) and look over my shoulder. Both cashiers are staring intently, evilly at me. I walk over to them to pay.

“How many donuts,” she asks me?
ONE,” I say.
Just one?”
Um. Yes?”

I’m such a child.
And a thief.


Michelle said...

Oh my heck I'm laughing so hard right now! I love it!

Zena said...

Holy crap I can just picture in the store and the evil cashiers just stareing...You are so funny...was the donut good at least??

Love, Z

tawny said...

Oh gosh no. gross. germs.

Mace seems to get his grimeys in that glass case of donuts ALL of the time. Guess what?!..NOT my fault they put it low enough for a 2 year old!

Have a good Easter wknd. Maybe see ya at mom's Sun....

Off to the AZ skies! xoxo

Kara said...

This is hysterical! I probably would have done the exact same thing - or maybe even folded under pressure and say I bought two. Good for you for not buying the germy donut!!!!

Laura said...

shady. you are very shady.

jana bananas said...

I like the image of you like throwing the donut into the chips and stuff.

Anonymous said...

Ew. No way you were going to pay for a donut you didn't actually take - and tossing it somewhere weird at least lets everyone else know that it's not ok for consumption. Hopefully the cashiers aren't totally sketchy and didn't put it back in the bin... eeew.

Standing in the Rain said...

you make me laugh brie. how do you manage to be so hilarious all the time?

i totally stash stuff if i'm at the store or something and don't want something anymore.

and yes, i feel guilty about it too.

kristin said...

Oh my! I can just imagine that happening!

By the way, your gastroenterologist sounds fun!

Take care, Brie! I hope you're feeling well!

love, kristin

rachel ramsay said...

Next time just flash your tubage and they'll let you have the whole rack of donuts.

Courtney said...

Hilarious. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who gets into these sticky situations. The other day my little guy had a blow out right in the middle of grocery shopping and I just took off--leaving a cart full of food and perishables for some lucky person to re-shelf! Thanks for the great laugh!

Shannon said...

So funny. I would have done the same thing. I wouldn't have wanted to pay for it. Funny that you just put it on the shelf though. Pretty sure you're not going to hell for it.

Brooke said...

I laughed a lot, but mostly because I can totally imagine you doing this. I can see you facial expressions, body language and everything! If it makes you feel any better, I would have done the same thing.

But, Breeeezzz...your church conscience from Primary (long ago)is saying that you should have paid for 2 donuts. Don't you remember all those scenario games we played over and over again back then. I'm sure that was one of them! SHAME ON YOU :)