"Sometimes You Have to Get Messed Up to Step Up"

I wish I could claim those words as my own. I truly found them deeply profound, and since I heard them, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about these simple words:

Sometimes you have to get messed up to step up.

And what’s even odder, is that these insightful words weren’t uttered by some great, inspiring leader of our time. Not Gandhi, not Mother Theresa, dude – NOT EVEN by Obama (er, or his speech writers…haha) they were said by a character on Grey’s Anatomy. Although I’m not going to give him credit, but the writer, Shonda Rhimes.

AAANNNNYYWAAAAY.

Isn’t that awesome? And so very, very true. If life were perfect, and peachy, one would never need to change, to grow, to learn. If my lungs weren’t so horrible, would I ever learn to value the treasure of a deep breath, and of a bike ride with my son? If I hadn’t had an NJ that made eating difficult because it was so hard to swallow, would I ever appreciate the yummy sticky simplicity of a PB&J?

Or what about baggy shirts? In general, I think they suck. But now they’re my best friends, cuz they help hide my tummy tubage.

…Or what about the most amazing man in the world? Would I value my rockin' husband as much if he hadn’t nursed my wounds, tended to me, nuzzled my neck and told me he was the luckiest man in the world, even as I lay sick in a hospital bed or crying in my bedroom? Would I appreciate the real, true, simple selflessness in him? If I hadn’t gone through these hardships, would I have even seen these rare and awe-inspiring traits in the man I’m lucky enough to have for me, all me, for the rest of forever? Would I appreciate him putting on our song last night, and lying by me in bed, telling me he wasn’t going to “let me sink,” and to cheer me up he danced with Cade? I’d like to think I would, no matter what.
But maybe not.
Maybe if life were perfect, I wouldn’t be able to discover how blessed I am. To have him. To have my son. To have my life.

If I didn’t have my precious baby boy, would I have stepped up to motherhood? Would I have decided in the hospital, the first time I held that perfect child in my arms, that NOTHING, absolutely and unequivocally NOTHING would stop me from loving him more than anything in the universe – not even my ED? Who knows? All I know is that Cade tells me every day, with his blue eyes and dimples and chubby little thighs and dazzling smile, to step up. “Step up, Mommy,” he says. “I need you. Do it for me, do it for you.”

Damn it hurts when bad things happen. Trauma, whether it be a horrible boss at work, a scary experience, loneliness, hearthache…you name it, and it totally blows. But you can learn from it. You don’t have to stay messed up forever. I think it’s awesome we can change, that we have the opportunity to better ourselves and those around us.

Would a good friend of mine bust her ass to re-open her amazing store rather than let the economy shut her down? HELL NO. She fought back, she stepped up, and it’s people like her that make the changes in this world.

So this is now my motto: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET MESSED UP TO STEP UP. It’s time to step up my game, and I challenge you all to do the same. Don’t wallow in apathy, thinking everything’s great grand wonderful - or the opposite - that everything seems too hard and overwhelming to change. Things can always be better. Take a stand, make a change.

So step up, peeps. What’re you waiting for?