Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Doin' Better

Thanks to all who commented on my last post - to have support given and ideas for how to better manage my anxiety thrown out there really meant a lot.  This is why I blog!  Because of da love.  :)

Well, my anxiety has significantly decreased since last night, and I think I know why.  During dinner last night with the parentals, out of nowhere, in the middle of chewing my food, I said, "I'M HAVING A LOT OF ANXIETY."  ...And then proceeded to tell my parents about how crippling the big bad A has been for the past few weeks, and about how group is causing a lot of anxiety in particular.  My parent's mouths dropped open in shock; their masticated hamburger rolling around in their mouth.  Because I don't talk.  At least, not about anything real.  I'm so closed off, and to randomly start yammering on about my anxiety shocked the hell out of them.  (Okay maybe the masticated hamburger part was a bit of an exaggeration!  ;)  But...to get my anxieties out of me, and to explain it, really helped.  I think it was getting so big and so scary in my head, but to put it out on the table and get a rational person's opinion really helped A TON.  Opening up forever!  Anxiety never!  So between you guys and my parents, I'm feeling like a whole new gal.  The anxiety is still there, yes, but it's not completely consuming me like it was before.


Well, tomorrow it's back to dietary I go.  I haven't been since mid-November because my dietician went on maternity leave.  Instead, I've had to get weighed twice/week by my therapist, and let me tell you, that was a TREAT.  I know she knows my weight anyway, because my D tells her, but for some reason to get weighed by her was mortifying.  Plus, she's sort of, like, a killer.  A killer dietician.  She put me through dietary bootcamp, and while it was good for me, it was tough!  So I think I'm okay with going back to see my old dietician.  Not excited about the extra cost every month, but recovery is expensive, and I figured that out and stopped whining about it a long time ago.  At any rate, I hope it goes okay.  If anything significant happens, I'll tell ya'll, of course.


I'm going to group this week as well, so I'll also definitely do some reportage back to you guys on how it goes in relation to my anxiety.  I wish I could divulge juicy group stories, but I can't because that'd be breaking confidentiality and I might be lynched.  And I'd deserve it, because confidentiality is super dee duper important!

This weekend Brandon and the kids and I are heading to Bear Lake to spend a few days with our friends.  Should be really fun; I'm quite looking forward to it.  This will be the first time we've ever traveled with Little Chica, so it'll be interesting to see how that goes.  It's only a 2 1/2 hour drive though, and we're purposefully leaving during her nap time, so with luck she'll sleep the whole time.  I hope to take lots of pictures and report on how it goes.


Okay, time for me to bounce.  I have laundry and picking up to do, plus for dinner tonight I'm tackling tostadas, so I need to do some prep for that.  Look at me being all domestic goddessey!

9 comments:

Erin said...

I liked this post very much. :)

Erin said...

Not that I don't enjoy all your posts though. I'm just happy to read that things are better.

Katie said...

Glad you're doing better. I completely agree that talking about it makes the anxiety decrease. When my anxiety is bad I now have a hard time shutting up about it.

bri said...

Love ,love, love!!!! This just made my day! Glad things are better! Love u!

Jennifer Leigh said...

Yay for speaking out!!! I agree, it's hard to say when you're struggling but man is it even worse to keep it locked inside. So happy you were able to do that!! Go Brie!! :) Keep talking..... It's not easy but it's worth it in the end.


P.S. Cade and Mila are just tooooo cute!! I just wanna grab Mila and cuddle her!!! She absolutely a doll!!!

Angela said...

What a huge step to open up to your parents! Way to go!!! I think sometimes it is difficult to tell those that are the closest to us that we are hurting, because we want to protect them from our pain, but I think it actually causes more anxiety in the long run for everybody. Keep talking! I'm so glad that it eased some of your anxiety. It sounds like you are really pushing yourself to do things in your reovery that are scary for you, and I applaud you for that. Good luck with your group. I hope you can begin to open up again there. Your contributions are important, and maybe seeing that you can also help others there will help you to share. Have a great weekend. Looking forward to hearing how everything went. Sending {{{HUGS}}}

Tylaine said...

I'm so glad to hear you're doing better Brie. Opening up and letting things help really does help. Have a great time at Bear Lake!

alriggells said...

So glad you are feeling a little better. I am glad you have the Bran Man and your parentals. That is so exciting to hear that you took a risk and it worked. :) You rock my socks.

just breathe said...

I just have to say, I love reading your blog! I think you are super strong and amazing! I admire you! Recovery is hard work, but it's awesome when people put their all into it, like you are doing! By the way, your kids are cute as can be!
-Holly