Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Lamelympics

Has anyone even been watching the Olympics this year? The winter ones are kind of snoring. Here’s why:


Ice skating: hate the outfits, also am preoccupied with the men’s junk and wondering if they’re using padding; also, am too mortified for them if they fall; I have to stare at the wall and moan awwwwkkkkkwwwwwwwwarrrrrd to myself. Husband finds this amusing, therapist says I need to learn to tolerate “normal human emotion.”
Skiing: the ecard says it all.
Bobsled: only cool in Cool Runnings.
Speed skating: it’d be more interesting if done with bumper cars.
The Luge: should rhyme with “douche.” (but doesn’t.) (why?) (and sigh.)

At least during the summer Olympics you get to stare at Mikey Phelps’ washboard abs and watch Asian toddlers with sparkly hair clips acrobat it around in gymnastics. PLUS if you get bored you can just go out and up your street cred by doing your own summer sport. Yessss.

And the worst of all this is that none of my shows are on anymore! Gone is Biggest Loser! Gone is Law & Order SVU! Gone is anything fun to do at night, except watch boring sports that are steadily making me lose the will to live. (Not having Biggest Loser and Jillian’s eyebrows will do that to me.) I have little fight left, I am growing weak.

So. When are they over again?  I'M LITERALLY DYING.

PSers: the overwhelming majority vote from last post was that most want another excerpt from my book.  Never fear, next post, I shall deliver!  I just need to figure out what morsel I am going to feed you...so stay tuned!

15 comments:

t. said...

LMAO. i cannot ever recall watching any winter olympic coverage. ever. i love to watch the summer olympics though. and that sucks about your tv shows. bummer.

brie said...

t tea tee!

i LUUUURVE me the summer olympics! the winter ones just blow, though. and we even hosted them in SLC in 2002. i'm like a traitor or something. ;)

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

You obviously missed the women's skiing last night. Lots of awesome crashes with skiers from other countries limping off the hill.

Saw-WHEAT!

-c

dietcolagirl said...

Awww... don't hate... the olympics are in my hometown!!!
LOL- let me do the hatin' myself - since they've totally disrupted our lives, tons more traffic, takes forever to get anywhere, putting our city in debt... hmm. not feeling so positive this morning.

brie said...

Cal, damn. missed the falls last night - i withered away and gave up after like 10 minutes...

Cammy said...

Normally I watch the figure skating religously, but I have been so busy I didn't even know when it was on this year. I need to catch a Curling...meet, match, game, what do they call it?....just to figure out what the hell it is!

brie said...

cammy i think you and i are like SOUL SISTERS because i was LITERALLY just wondering what the h bomb curling even was when you left this comment!

Shells said...

I've been watching the Games this year via the Today show in the morning. :o)

Curling is one of the only sports where you can be an Olympian, and still have to have an outside job. Like as a substitute teacher. But there is a team this year that has some SWEET pants! Norway, I think?

PS. Your blog = Awesome. I think this is my first comment!

Cassidy said...

Seriously, I feel like I'm i SVU withdraw right now

Lou Lou said...

haha i get so aaaaaaaaaawwwwkkkwaaaaaaarrrd for people all the time. just recently one of my good friends posted a video on facebook showing us around his resort in thai.land and it was a great video.... and i just criiiiinnnge!!! i cringe so bad all the time, even when i dont know peo[ple on tv i just get embarrassed for them if they r loony. AMERICAN IDOL TRY OUTS OHJHHHHHHH CRIGE FEST!!!weird? hahaha

Kara said...

At least the Olympics aren't going to interfere with Project Runway tonight!

Dianne said...

Okay, I like the Olympics. I grew up wanting to be a famous gymnast. Like Olga Korbut. Yes, that is how old I am. However, I have a Biggest Loser comment because Koli & Sam live here and go to our Stake & I am working with his family while they are losing weight to surprise Koli and so somehow, in some strange world, I am famous because I helped Koli's Mom lean to fix healthy Italian Meatball Soup and Green Chile Enchiladas. Does that count for, say, 15 microseconds of fame? Sorry about that run-on sentence. Phew.

Kerri said...

I don't find any of the Olympics interesting- but if stuck watching it, I do enjoy looking for the wipe outs. The husband had it on while he was working the other day and so I half read a book, half laughed my ass of at all the skaters wiping out and how ridiculous all those costumes looked. :) I don't like sports though, so anytime I am forced all I can do is laugh at others misfortune. Yes, I might be a little evil, but it passes time.

Eating Alone said...

Curling on perc's! I still don't know what they are doing but it make's it way more fun to watch.

Gena said...

My oldest daughter is loving the Olympics, watching them religiously, thinks she will die without them. I tried to watch Men's Figure Skating and it just totally grossed me out this year. Don't know why. And, to top it off, it was BORING.

I can't wait for my regularly scheduled programming, either. The Olympics are lasting about 2 weeks longer than they should this year.