Saturday, August 23, 2008

A Nightmare Come True

Well, I had an interesting afternoon.
And by interesting I mean panic riddled and fear inducing.
Husband and I decided to take Cade to the Living Planet Aquarium. We’d never been, and we thought it’d be a fun family outing.
Um, what was I thinking?
I honestly and for reals truly have a searing fear for all things aquatic. Fish and/or anything living in the water are not cute, or majestic, or awe-inspiring. They are frightening. I hate them. So what happened when I walked up to the shark tank you ask? Well, this giant leopard shark or whatever the hell it was leered at me and like jumped out and I shrieked. And then I said the S bomb way too many times to count, with my own son and a plethora of young, malleable-minded children around.

But the panic attack didn’t start until I saw the octopus.

Brandon moved me away from the tank before I could get a picture, but it was probably a good idea because I was starting to have a hot flash and ready to give my right breast for a benzo. I calmed down a bit when he stuck me under an air-conditioning vent.

Admittance fees: $16
Three-foot stuffed snake for the man-child: $12.95
Peanut Butter M&M’s: .59 cents
Watching Mommy have a panic attack at the octopus tank: priceless

Seriously, this thing looks like it could skin teenagers in the woods. What was God thinking?


Cade and Daddy looking at the nasty eel.

This was taken about 2 minutes before my octopus OMG moment. If you look closely, you can see jellyfish in the tank. They were okay until I saw a dead one.

SO. GLAD. I. SURVIVED.

18 comments:

Kathy with a K said...

I think all the aquatic creatures were coming up to the glass to see your amazingly adorable family!
You know that octopus was thinking "wtf? did I really need all these legs? she looks great with just two."

PS: I once got to chaperone my daughter's girl scout sleepover at our local aquarium. We slept next to the shark tank.
If it were a moth museum...we'd have a problem. me no likey moths.

KC Elaine said...

now I know why you don't want to go snorkeling with me...there were seriously up to 8 leopard sharks around me at once!

Cammy said...

Yikes, sorry you had such a stressful day. What species of octopus was it?

Shannon said...

Oh that is funny. Not that you had a panic attack, but more that you dropped the S bomb several times in front of all those kids. ;) Ok, I took a group from CFC there one time and they loved it. Their favorite thing was the octopus. Good thing that wasn't your group.

Emily said...

I didn't know you were afraid of aquatic creatures. I love them, especially octopuses!

Penny said...

Cade and Bran are beautiful. I think the trip was basically priceless just for that great Daddy/Son pic. You did not like "jaws" either. Remember? and wouldn't swim in pools for a long time after. Love you all the more....

Katherine said...

Brie, remember that time you lived in a whale's vagina? Admit it: you say you dislike aquatic creatures, but you loved your whale home. ;-) Almost as much as I love you!

Krista said...

We took Jax there last year and I was kind of disappointed in the size of the place. I thought there would be cooler and more sharks actually, but I was comparing it to this huge one we went to in Washington.

Devon said...

Sea turtles are pretty much the only A-ok fishy type thing...and then there are dolphins and otters - muchhhhhhhh better

simulateddork said...

Agggh a dead jellyfish! *squeams*

Laura said...

SHit. Guess I will have to return the blow fish I got you.
SHit. SHit. SHit.

Laur said...

I'm sad you didn't like it! I loved it. Now we will have to think of something else to replace that as one of our winter activities. OH man i am loathing the thoght of no more pool.

brie said...

Cammy, what species was the octopus? The kind with 8 legs that skins teenagers. Seriously.

And yes, Katherine, I *do* love a good whale's vagina joke, but I can only say it because no whale is nearby.

"Julia" said...

Aw, Brie... I say this with all the love in the world: that is sooo funny! I love underwater creatures. I'm sorry they scare you, though.

jana bananas said...

I, too, have a terrible fear of the sea/water creatures! Especially things that have claws or look like spiders -- crabs, lobsters -- that sort of thing. And I hate when those scary things can come up on land!

jana bananas said...

Totally off-topic: is your hair naturally wavy?

brie said...

Yeah Banana-rama, my hair has natural wave.

Lol it's so good you all can't see my face in that pic because I swear it would've made you all feel so sorry for me! I was terrified!

Cammy said...

I had a friend that had a pet octopus for a short time (they are miserably short-lived creatures, which makes the ultra intelligence that much more amazing, we take almost 20 years to mature and they rarely live past 2 years). They ARE escape masters, but I don't think they actually ever proved that hers skinned any teenagers...