Thursday, August 21, 2008

Behind the Scenes from my NYC Trip, & Live TV Isn’t All it’s Cracked Up to Be

So many things, so little time!
So, the 4 1/2 hour flight to NY wasn’t so bad for me. I slept on a nice comfy pillow most of the time. And by comfy pillow I mean Brandon, and by Brandon , I mean his shoulder. Bad for him, nice for me, but hey, that’s basically the way our whole marriage has gone, huh honey? ;) The one bad for me on the plane was the fact I was sitting next to some dude that looked like the guy on Prison Break who is in the mafia and likes to kill things like me for sport. Me no likey. (Here we are at the airport on our way home.)

And, can I just say that driving in NYC is like driving in a 3rd world country? Our crazy driver would weave and honk and yell and break every conceivable traffic law known to man. I (literally) was praying for the eternal salvation of my soul lest we crash and die in a fiery wreckage of twisted metal. And…the people! They’d just cross the road even if cars were zooming toward them at quite the fast pace. Apparently getting to where You Need to Go is more important than actually living. That’s got to be bad karma if you ask me. It just has to be.

So, the first leg of the trip once we got in NYC was filming the short clip they showed of me before they actually started interviewing me live. It’s so crazy to me that they edited 27 minutes of the interview down to 2. Huh. They sure left out everything I’d have basically wanted them to say, like how cool and (almost) recovered I am, and how awesome Cade is, and how he’s totally babylicious and super smart and un-damaged and how I give major props to my uterus for being really strong and cool and brave throughout the whole ordeal, and oh yeah, like how I LOOOOOAAAATHE the term pregorexia.

And then when they had to film me like staring off into space and looking hella sad and stuff…LAME. Man I felt dumb! I started to try to distract myself and think about fairies and fluffy clouds and nice pieces of male magnificence to distract me…and then the one short scene where I’m curled up on a couch and Brandon was holding me…gah! We were laughing and smiling the whole time, and finally the camera man had to tell us to not smile since this was a serious piece, but how am I not supposed to when Brandon ’s stomach was growling in my ear the whole time? For realsies, he was experiencing some serious hunger pangs.

When they shot me (shot me like on camera, not with a gun, just FYI) outside, there were millions of people walking by me and staring at me and craning their necks and wondering wtf was going on. The director of the shoot actually told one man who
asked him what was going on that I was shooting a commercial for Advil and that I had a terrible headache! AHAHAHAHAHA! I did look pretty pained, if I recall. I was so sick of the camera in my face.

After all that was over, we hauled our famished, weak selves to a nice restaurant over-looking Times Square . Brandon wolfed down a giant burger that weighed approximately as much as my left femur, and I delicately ate a cheese steak. See? I don’t even remember what anorexia is! I didn’t pick out ¾ of my meat at all. (But to my credit, there was lotso meat.)

We ended up crashing in our (amazing) hotel at 8:30, which was only 6:30 in Utah , but we were suuuuuper tired and had to get up at 4:30 the next morning. I slept quite well, withstanding once when I woke up to pee pee, then decided I was hungry and totally ate like half a box of Crunch ‘n Munch. Seriously, who does that? Who wakes up at 2:00 in the morning and decides they want Crunch ‘n Munch? Consequently, my new favorite saying is Crunch ‘n Munch much? It sounds so pretty rolling off my tongue! Oh, and I have to back-pedal a second. So when we got to the Hotel Mela and checked in, the concierge knew I was on the show and asked me if I minded telling him what I was going on the show for. Yes I do, fool! Only, I said that in my head, and out of my mouth (unfortunately) popped the truth, that I was there to talk about eating disorders. He then so eloquently professed: Kidney disorders? Yeah. Everybody’s got those these days! Bwahahahahaha! What a cute little Indian tool!

When we arrived on set in the green room, there was so much breakfast sitting around, and I was too nervous to eat, but I was thinking that everybody was looking at me disapprovingly, like, yeah, she’s anorexic, and we wasted all this money on this delicious food for nothing! –So I stuffed an egg and ham breakfast wrap in my mouth, and my nerves and innards very much regretted my good-intentioned mishap. Eeeewy for egg nastiness wanting to come back up!! Ew! (This is me just a few minutes before I went on the show.)

The lady that was doing my makeup made me laugh, mostly just because people don’t get eating disorders AT ALL, yo. I told her what I was going on the show for, and then almost in the same breath, she was like, yeah, you should totally try out for America ’s Next Top Model, you’d be perfect for it! Hmmm.

ANTM + Brie+ her eating disorder = imminent death and most likely extreme public humiliation.

I suck at math and even I get it. Sigh…

Mike and Juliet themselves were really nice…but also pretty clueless, it seemed. I honestly really believe that they had to dumb themselves down so that the greater American audience would understand. I mean, I thought that it was as well known that eating disorders are about control (among other things) and NOT FOOD just as it is known that the sky is blue or that Danny DeVito is an alien from a galaxy far, far away.

And I’ll apologize now for all the numbers talk, guys. Bad Brie! Bad M & J show! All they wanted to know were numbers! How much did I weigh? How much weight did I lose? What pant size was I? Yadda yadda yadda. Because America still thinks that ED’s are only about numbers, they want to know that, because they’re greedy and weird and sick. So, I do apologize for you having to hear those. I’m weak. I’m a weak weak weak princess. I’m sorry! BAAAAAA!

First mistake that THEY made: The first question I was asked was by Juliet, and she said something, like, So Brie, you only ate 200 calories? WTF sista? Where did she pull that number from? That’s why I paused for a minute, because I had no no no idea what she was talking about. It’s a good thing I’m eloquent and suuuuuper quick on my feet, so I sort of made it seem like I knew what she was talking about. And in the video clip, they said I got pregnant only weeks after getting out of treatment instead of MONTHS. Second mistake THEY made, which was my least favorite: Mike called my MAN-CHILD a WOMAN-CHILD! He is not a girl! He’s handsome and manly. Cate? Ugh! It’s CADE. And I love that he randomly said he was like 1 pound. Do 1 pound babies even survive? I just don’t think they were properly prepped on the whole thing. But oh wellsies! Everyone makes mistakes, no biggie.

I was really nervous (and I think I expressed some of those deep dark fears to you alls) that the audience and the ENTIRE WORLD (because I’m so sure everybody in the world watches the M & J show) were going to think I sucked at life and sucked at being a mom and sucked at eating and well, just sucked in general. But…I’m going to try to give humanity a chance and hope they like me. I like to be liked. I want to be liked. So please like me! I do wish that they would have asked me how I’m doing now, and how Cate Cade is doing now, too. Because we’re awesome. Totally awesome.

The return trip home was better because I was at a window seat and only sitting next to Brandon , and this time he had to sit next to the Greek (maybe?) Jewish guy who totally looked like he didn’t speak English but DID. All I know is that he ate some nasty smelling food and that I could see the bobby pins in his hair securing his cute little hat onto his head. Brandon also made it very clear I was not to use him as a man-pillow, so that totally sucked. I love man-pillows. Man-pillows for president!!!

And then I got home. And I watched the clip a few times, analyzed when I looked fat, when I looked too skinny, when I said something good and when I messed up. But overall? I give my performance a B+.

And then we found out the water heater had broken and leaked all over our family room carpet. It was sopping wet. And that means mold. BOO mold!

And Cade wasn’t happy to see us, mostly because I think he was maaaaaad we had left him. He now prefers his trike over his parental units.

But my fat fluffy kitty lovers were pleased to see me. They seemed miffed the carpet was wet, and I asked them why they didn’t clean it up, and we got into a mini argument because they never pull their weight around there.

So, welcome home, Me! Back to the non-famous me. But you know what? I’m glad. Being famous sucks with all its kidney disorders and crazy limo drivers and nasty egg sandwiches. I love this crazy complicated sometimes hard most times lovely perfect beautiful life of mine.
And in case you fell off the planet and have no idea what the Briester is talking about, go here.


ania said...

Dear Brie,

(Am I really the first person to comment on this?)

I just wanted to say that doing that show took lots of courage, in my opinion.

Even if all humanity doesn't get you, and even if there are people still believe that what the media presents as information is the whole story, and how they present it is all the truth....we know better. We like you. We really, really like you.

With warmth....

Nichole said...

I loved hearing all of the "behind the scenes" stuff. I had wondered what you were thinking when they filmed looking sad as you stared into the streets of New York. I would have been laughing the whole time. The number thing also rang the little ED alarm in my head and I kept wanting to tell them to stop bring up the numbers!!! This doesn't help other people with EDs! But you really did great and I am proud to say I know you!

takeupyourbedandwalk said...

What a great post, Brie! Good for you for making it through the Hollywood (in New York) idiocy-machine. :P

Also, isn't the Mela awesome? I only stayed there once on business, but if I could afford it I would LIVE there. *sigh*

Nichole said...

Sad for me, it won't let me edit my typos. I have decent grammar skills, I swear.

Carlie Michelle said...

See what I mean with the blog timing?? I got to your blog about two minutes after you posted that, and read everyone's comments on your last post and here we are. We were meant to be blog friends! Great job again, on the show, you rocked it.

Emily said...

Brie, I think you did great on the show. And I'm proud of you, and proud to have you be my friend.

jana bananas said...

Yay for Brie! I can't imagine anyone not liking you, just FYI. You seem to be adored by all that know you, even the people that don't know you and stumbled upon your blog!

Thank you for the behind the scenes story. I was wondering what was up with some things (like showing you so sad all the time). I wish they would have asked how you're doing now, and how Cade is doing.

When I saw you on tv, I have to admit I was kind of shocked at how freaking thin you are still. It's sad that you saw fat moments when you watched the video because I can assure you that you are skinny-skinny-skinny. I'm glad that sometimes you did see that you looked too thin. That's the reality, dearie. BUT, I will say that you looked beautiful. I was so jealous of your hair. ;) You have a wicked awesome head of hair! It looks so healthy and shiny.

Oh yeah, NYC is crazy. The cab rides were nerve-wracking and the people were nuts too. I was only there for a couple days for work 2 years ago but I do remember that!

Love you much. Respond to my email!


Laur said...

Hey babe, I hope you got my texts and phone messeges. Corey and I and most of his family watched you from here in Spokane! You looked amazing and you did a really fantastic job and I thought it was totally unprofessional for them to call Cade Cate and refer to him as a girl. I mean c'mon know the people you are interviewing. I personally have always found both Mike and Juliette extremely nail scratching on the chalkboard annoying but its freaking amazing you were on national television.
I'm so proud of you. Talk to you soon, Laurie

Shannon said...

I love hearing the details. So interesting and comical. I thought the montage of you looking all depressed was totally lame. I'm glad that you cleared up what your real thought were. ;) Also, sweet that you got to stay in a way nice hotel. I still think you did great. I almost yelled at the TV when Mike said Cate! I was like, it's a boy you idiot! Anyway, way to keep your cool. Major bummer about coming home to wet, moldy carpet. That sucks. Hope it gets fixed asap. Glad to hear you are happy to be back to your real life. :)

Devon said...

I'm glad you had quite the experience my dear.

They did portray you being this depressed emo girl who clings to her hubby's leg due to a kidney disorder and a little girl...wooooooops.

Love that you're that we'll play soon - when???????

zubeldia said...

hi sweety, I think you did a wonderful job, I really do. You looked beautiful, of course, but very thin, chica. I only point it out because my fear is that with everyone saying how wonderful you looked (which you did!) you'll interpret it to mean that your weight is okay, that you don't need to gain weight.

I know that you might not want to hear these words, but I wanted tp put them out there. I know that when I was restoring my weight and people said I looked great, that I would think, oh, what are these other people talking about? My weight is fine... no need to gain.

love you, sweet brie

brie said...

Hey all you cool people-

Thanks for the comments. It really, really means a lot that you all think I did a great job. Yeah, I agree Nichole, the numbers talk was bad - they didn't care what I said, though, and they made it clear that the numbers were important to them.

And Z and JB...I know you both think I look too thin, and like I said in an email to, I just don't see it at all. I really am going to try to watch the video with an un-biased eye. There were a couple of times when I thought, "Ew, you look too thin." (It was mostly at the part in the video clip when I was curled up with Brandon on the couch, and my collarbones looked a little skeletanish.) But really, I know what you mean Z, that I shouldn't take it to mean that I'm great! and fine! and don't need to gain more weight!! ...because I know I do. :(

Again, thanks for all your support.

Cade's still mad, and my carpet's still wet...

brie said...

Ahahahahaha! DEV. Did you just say I was portrayed as emo?? LOVE IT. I totally was!!

Thanks for making me laugh. :)

Laura said...

I love love love TV, especially the behind the scenes, and how UN real it is. Thanks for sharing all of is so interesting to hear YOUR side of the story, and then theirs. Makes you wonder how much truth there is to what we read and see and hear.

And Mike has assholrexia. Stupidrexia. And loserexia. You have beautifulrexia, and no did really really great, Brie. And I say this with such sincerity, and dare I say TEARS in my might even think I actually KNOW you!!! But I feel like I do. And I like you. Lots.

emo said...

I have been checking your blog a ton to see when you were going to talk about the experience in NY and how it was on the set. That's too bad they didn't have you saying how well you and Cade are doing and some of the other good things. But you were fabulous and looked exquisite on the show.

Jackie said...

You were great. Brillant. Brave. Love you B.

Lisa said...

Brie, you were fantastic. You did an excellent job of conveying that yo, eating disorders are strange and complicated things.

Having never watched the Mike and Juliet show, I have to say that Mike powerfully reminds me of Fred Willard's announcer-man character in Best in Show.

Penny said...

Finally being able to watch the show a few times over may I assure you and reassure you that you came across as calm and confident and vibrant. You were also knowledgeable and an eloquent spokeswoman for Recovery from this devasting illness. Enjoy everything because I don't know how you did it but I am proud to be related to you.

Penny said...

Finally being able to watch the show a few times over may I assure you and reassure you that you came across as calm and confident and vibrant. You were also knowledgeable and an eloquent spokeswoman for Recovery from this devasting illness. Enjoy everything because I don't know how you did it but I am proud to be related to you.

Krystle said...

I love this post! Boo for them for messing up the info, yay for Brie for being awesome!

That is all.

You make me smile, and for this, I thank you, ♥

Heather said...

Woah....the last time I "saw" you was when I was moving out east, I think. That was, like, 4 or 5 years ago? So, while watching the clip I kept thinking, "Is that really Brie?" I realized you had grown up. And then it hit me...I knew you when you were so, so sick, and you were like a child. Heck, you were a child. And I don't know this "new" Brie, this grown-up, this mother, this wife. It makes me sad that I don't know this side of you, because you are really quite amazing. Very eloquent, very perceptive and insightful, very honest, and so much more. I'd like to get to know this Brie. The one without the ED (or almost without the ED)!!! One day, I'll get myself down there to visit you and Shauna! I could desperately use some UT dry climate....Seattle sucks in the climate department! Anyway, in my opinion, you did GREAT with their dumb-butt questions! You've come SO FAR, Brie, from that first day I met you in treatment (cripes, you were still a teenager then!!!). You truly have.

KC Elaine said...

nicely done! I remember before the notre dame conference I almost puked my breakfast, could barely stomach it, in a totally non ed way

Less Than Anonymous said...

wows, so amazing didn't even begin to cover how awesome you did in that interview
especially after they called your manchild cate, I saw that and was like wtf? am i missing something

i was actually really really shocked about how nobody (ie M/J) brought up the fact that the P-word (i refuse to say it, it makes me puke a little) is not as simple as just not wanting to get big when your preggo.
p.s. i'm so jealous of your super shiny hair on the show,

Shannon said...

So he really DID say Cate!! I thought he had said Cade...but then the other lady answered so I thought they were talking about her kid. Idiot.

Ya, I pretty much wanted to smack both of them in the head for not being prepared. Even I knew that most of their info was off from reading your blogs. Losers! I guess they do have to dumb themselves down and exaggerate for people to watch and understand...although it makes you wonder what shows WE watch where they are stating the wrong information.

You did great Brie! You sounded smart, articulate and you were very poised (and you never looked too fat or skinny!) Props!

Kathy with a K said...

You know Juliet was asking for all the numbers so she could give it a try...!!
Seriously, the media loves the sensational.
Luckily, you looked and acted sensational (as in tactful, smart, beautiful, poised) and got a free trip to NYC!
Please, next time you're there, lets get together. We'll cross the street in front of traffic together.

Jessica said...

Hey- linked to your blog via your twin's wife email that was sent to RS president, etc. Hope you don't mind that I comment...

WOW!! You are extremely brave for opening yourself up like that on TV and on your blog. I feel like I know you now, I I think you are AMAZING.
I love how you write and it totally sucks that M/J show didn't get anything right. Personally they are not my fav' morning show anyways...and I like them even less now! It sounds like they skimmed over the REAL story here- too bad for those number-freakin-obsessed folks.

Even though I don't know you, I want to thank you for being so honest! Keep working at being healthy, kids are so totally worth everything!

Single said...

I just saw your Bobbie pics...that is one fat cat. I think your cat could eat one of mine for breakfast and the second one for lunch. I wish I had seen your tv appearance but I haven't been in blogworld for awhile and missed the entire thing:-(

brie said...

Kathy, I would've loved to see you while in NYC. But, our schedule was so tight, and we weren't even in NY for 24 hours. Isn't that crazy?? It was basically fly in, do the show, fly out. I had some other emails from blog readers living in NYC who wanted to meet up with me, but there was just no time at all, and I'm really sad. Hey--why don't you come to UT? It's freaking amazing! ;)

Single, you can still watch it online if you'd like...

brie said...

Oh, and Jessica, of course I don't mind that you comment. Welcome to my blog. :) Thanks for your kindess and words, it means a lot. Say hi to Angela for me, she's a sweetie!

Melisa said...


I have to share what I think after watching the video. First of all that Mike guy is a total idiot! I have never watched their show before this and after watching him and his reaction in this video I will and would never even consider watching their show. (Unless of course you go back on).

They both acted so shocked and stupid to the fact that you had an eating disorder while pregnant. Instead of being helpful and understanding to you and to those who might be suffering from "pregorexia". They totally bugged me.

Now you on the other hand I thought did great. You know a lot about your disorder and I felt like you were very well educated with your answers and you can tell you have been working hard on your road to recovery. It shows in your knowledge and passion.

Thanks for having your blog! I love to read it:)

p.s. send me your e-mail address so I can add you to my blog!

tmere said...

Dear Brie-

Having been gone with family for most of the summer I have only had a chance to post to your blog now.

What a vibrant and motivating individual you are!

Kudos to your televised appearance and for such courage to continue bringing light and encouragement into what can still be utter darkness=ignorance within views and misunderstandings regarding eating disorders.

I wish you and your family the best!

XO- Tracey aka: tmere

Sarah said...

I shouldn't comment because I do not know you but I have to because Mike and Juliet are THE WORST interviewers known to man. How they got their own talk show is just ... it blows my mind. I had to take this class on interviewing skills and they seriously break every rule in the book. It was PAINFUL! to watch them. You dealt with it so well. I would have lost it. They ask fifty questions in one and cut in while you're answering. What are their behind the scenes staff thinking...don't they coach them?!!!!!!! I seriously cannot believe that. I have to give a training at work on interviewing and wanted to give an example clip of bad interviewing skills (what NOT to do) and was wondering where I'd find one.... I think I just found one. You did a great job and managed to deal amazingly well with their hyperactive inability to listen to others speak. It's like they can't stand to hear the sound of anyone else's voice, so they have to speak over everyone even though they asked the other person to speak by asking them a question. I love how the older mom lady was like: "You have to hear the rest of the story" she tried to gently put them in their place (inside her head she was slapping them silly). They are CRAZY. I bet they will have their show cancelled soon. Don't people who have shows like this have to get some training before they just put them on TV. ARGHHHHH! I'm going on and on.. .but it's seriously like fingernails on a chalkboard. I would have lost it. Seriously, great job. Especially with the Cade/Kate thing. You can be POSITIVE everyone who watched thought you did great and that M&J are crazy and I'm sure everyone wanted them to shut their blasted mouths and let you speak, as I did. Again, you were great.

(I am a friend of Shannon's, so I'm not a total freako reading your blog.... I do not really know how you know shannon, I just saw your link on her blog.. hope you don't mind.. your blogs are fun to read and help me keep perspective on real life, and they're exciting, I never know what I'm going to get when I read it, it's always a good read)

Jodi said...

Brie, I just think you're a stud. That's it.

Lindsay B said...

Brie! I watched the video! I can't imagine how nerve-racking it must have been! You were so put together and so knowlegable and well-spoken. Too bad those hosts were so ignorant!

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi! Andy and I just moved back to Utah (its been awhile...), so if you guys are every bored and looking for something to do, shoot me an email or something and we can get together!