Friday, April 18, 2008

A Startling Discovery


I am going to die. Like, literally. I am SO BORED. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’m sitting here at work, and honestly, anything would be preferable to the mind-numbing numbingness nothingness I’m doing. And, it’s not like I’m being just a lazy a-hole or something, and getting paid for nothing. But I’ve finished all my work! I can’t help it that I’m uber smart and uber efficient and finished my work load long before my supervisor’s anticipated me doing so. No one has anything for me to work on, I already asked. And, I mean, how many times can I read your blogs? I’ve already read everything you’ve posted! So then I started snapping some pictures, and I made an unsettling, albeit highly ironic, discovery.

My jeans cost me $170.00 US dollars. (Don’t ask. I like expensive things, but even that is just, like, disgusting. But at the time I was highly depressed and highly volatile and I knew that some serious dough blowage would cheer me up mightily. It totally worked, by the way.) So, anyway. I even snapped a picture of the brand, Citizens for Humanity, so you would know I ain’t foolin’ around.

But the shirt I’m wearing? Yeah, it was $2.50. No, no, the decimal is not in the wrong place – don’t move it over one or even two spaces to the right! Yeah, as in, like two dollars. Like, the same amount as a bag of licorice or cheap maxi pads. Hemorrhoid cream is more expensive than this, people!

Doesn’t that seem a little weird? My wardrobe is on completely different sides of the s p e c t r u m. Granted, the shirt was originally $9.99, and was like, 75% off or something, but still.

Okay. Let’s do the math.
I can’t, I’m not smart enough.
Okay, give me a minute; let’s see if I can figure it out: Okay, many minutes later, I’m back. And I can’t.
So I went and called my brother, Brett out of his office, and we started trying to figure out what percent my pants cost more than my shirt, but we were having issues, so then we asked my husband, who had just walked in to collect me for my lunch break, and we thought we had the answer, but it just seemed so wrong, so then I asked F, who is a director in the finance department at work, and therefore well qualified in math, and he confirmed the number we came up with:

Drum roll, please:

My pants cost 6,800% MORE than my shirt. As in, I could’ve bought 68 of my shirts for the same price. Yes. I swear it’s true. Gross.

Libby, if you’re reading this, please confirm that this math quandary is indeed correct. As a person who is in possession of a Masters’ degree in math, you gotta let me know if we did it right. Thanks! (But I’m 97.9378% sure it is.)

And Brett, you can now Google yourself three times. You’re friggin’ famous. Slow down!


Emily said...

Wow. Those are some EXPENSIVE pants! I hope they fit nicely. :)

Yay for $2.50 shirts! I love stuff like that as long as they're good quality.

I, too, am bored out of my mind. Perhaps I will write another blog entry...

Abby said...

That's pretty cool. Now I want to try figuring out how the cost of my shoes compares to the total cost of everything else I'm wearing, but I hate to put that kind of energy into math. Never mind, I'll figure it out... okay, my shoes cost approximately 200% more than the entire rest of my outfit, including underwear. Not as exciting as your findings, but still notable, especially since I think I could replicate this figure on most days. But what am I to conclude from this? Should I be spending less money on shoes? No, no, no! I should be spending more money on clothes. Okay, I think I'll go shopping now.

heather said...

That blog entry totally made my day. Seriously. I had a rotten one (day) and needed a laugh. I too totally suck at math. At CFC my first time they did some brain testing on my through the U and discovered my math skills are literally that of a 3rd. grader. I'm so not kidding. There's proof in my file! :)

Sorry your bored. As someone I love yet despise once said to me when I said I was bored, "boredom is good for you every once in a while." Now, how could that possibly be true?

I love your style in clothes, by the way. You totally need to take my small 5 foot frame shopping and help me out in this area next time I get down there to UT (which may be this summer?????)! I hope your day got more interesting!

aLana said...

it's okay, i fully support retail therapy, especially when it results in some rockin citizens! are those the ones you wore tuesday or did you get new ones? uber hot! i loves it!

Penny said...

I'm totally rocked that you can produce such a pretty entry. So many fonts and so many colors and pics too. I'm so impressed with myself that I poduced you, plus you have a great taste in clothes that I am pretty sure you inherited from my side!!
See you soon.


Savannah said...

wow, in the second picture of you...i see a lot of cade :) he looks lots like his momma - lucky kid :) miss you!

Shannon said...

This is the funniest post! I love that your shirt was so stinkin cheap and your pants so not. Sometimes its a thrill getting the awesomely cheap deal and sometimes its a thrill spending the big bucks. I think I need some 170 dollar jeans. Self esteem anyone? :) The fact that you went to such lengths to figure out the percentage is quite a testament as to how bored you really were at work. Glad something occupied your time. So funny.

UsedToBeDay said...

Before I concur with your number, I just wanted to let you know how honored I am that you thought of me in your time of need :)

And that I'm jealous of your $2.50 creamsicle shirt.

And yes, I concur.

KC Elaine said...

haha, well, I went shopping with my sister yesterday and I told her that tall women can only fit into expensive pants. It's true, isn't it?