Birthday Boy

Today is my honey baby’s birthday. So in honor of his birthday, I decided to give him a blog post and sex, plus he’s giving the xbox game to himself because really he picked it out, but I guess technically it’s from me, whatever. (Also I want a tuna sandwich from Quizno’s as my birthday present. Even though it’s his birthday.)

Here are just a few of the reasons I love Brandon so much:

1. He wanted to marry me. I’m not sure how or why, but Big B has somehow been able to see through and/or around all of the crap (like my cougheatingdisordercough) like getting in the way of my naturally awesome aura (I imagine it to be a coralish pink with like a glittery yellow tint with pink pows and kitty cats mixed all around). He’s always told me that he thinks I’m a pretty amazing lady lady, but I think he’s a pretty amazing man bear for even sticking around with me. I mean, going into treatment on our six month anniversary wasn’t exactly the gift he pry had in mind, you know?
2. He’s funny. I mean, realllly funny, guys. I don’t know how I could have ever married some dead-beat of a guy who had no sense of humor, because I honestly think B and I probably spend about 80% of our time together laughing (the other 20% of which is spent watching Biggest Loser). He pokes fun at me, but he can, because he’s him, and we somehow find a way to make jokes out of our problems, to make them more bearable. I remember once a few years ago, he found a scale that I wasn’t supposed to have, that I had hidden under all the blankies in my closet. Instead of bringing it out and getting all confrontational or getting angry (okay he’s done that too let’s be honest!) he instead wrote BUSTED on a post-it note, so the next time I pulled it out I knew I was, in fact, BUSTED. I came to him with it just laughing, and also with a look on my face that was like MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.
3. He’s really protective of me. And while I actually think that the majority of the time it’s so…hindering, I actually find it sweet he cares so much. He’s loosened up a bit, cuz I remember when we were engaged he wouldn’t let me go into the Maverick to get frozen yogurt because I was wearing SHORTS. And these weren’t like hoochie shorts that were more underwear than shorts; these were legit, like, DAISY DUKES. And we had to get over the whole YOU CAN’T WEAR A BIKINI TO THE POOL UNLESS YOU’RE WITH ME RULE, but in other aspects, it’s sweet. Remember when that tool propositioned me at a stoplight? He got appropriately angry and it makes me happy to know that someone out there cares and is protective.
4. He’s so…stable. Crap I don’t know, but it’s weird. Like, when I’m really anxious or having a problem, I FREAK out, want the world to end or at least want to find a giant black garbage bag and hide in it for awhile while I sob I DID MY BEST IDIDMYBEST IDIDMYBEST, but not B. He’ll just kinda sit and brainstorm and think about ways to fix whatever problem or stress he’s dealing with. And while it’s a bit maddening he’s so logical and NORMAL, it’s a good example for crazy psycho Brie. Love it!
5. He has really cute jackhammer spermies. Stay tuned in 6 ½ months for the little darling to make it’s debut, and you’ll be like DAMN Brandon, you gave that baby some looks! (But don’t forget about Brie who actually, in fact, did the entire 9 month cooking.)
[Pic: An excellent example of aforementioned cute spermie results.]

I love you baby! I can’t wait to go out and have fun with you tonight and celebrate all 27 of your super amazing usually never just mediocre years with you!

Love, Breezy