Friday, September 18, 2009

Boobs

Even though I made the $4000 dollar decision to, you know, like enhance the breasties, why am I so irritated when men gape at them and are drawn to them like a moth to the flame? That’s the million dollar question – or really, four-thousand dollar question, to be exact. It’s like I don’t even have a face – or a pulse, or really anything other than the boobies. This afternoon at Quizno’s some poor kid who ordered the Mesquite Chicken just couldn’t close his mouth or raise his eyes. I was a little embarrassed for him.

Poor kid. Keep it together, you know? UP. Look up! That’s right. Close mouth. Smile. Make eye contact. Insert mumbled greeting. Move along, move along.

I relayed all this to Husband not long ago over the phone. His response? "Well, hon, you are wearing a pretty boob glorious shirt today." Way to defend my honor, Tiger.

Boobs are good but Brie is better!

11 comments:

Heather Lindquist said...

Thanks for making me laugh! I currently am sitting in a coffee shop and there is a man (like 60 year old or something) who is sitting directly across from me and he's been STARING at me for the past hour or so. No joke. Everytime I look up and meet his eyes, he smiles really big and creepy-like. So, although my boobies don't get the stare, I know what its like to feel like an object and stared at by strangers....creepy gross ones too. Blech. I'm going to leave in a sec....he's weirding me out. Don't fret about your boobies.....you're face is not that far from them and soon your beautiful smile will catch that boy's (or man's) eye and he will see that you are indeed a person who deserves respectl, not someone to objectify!

Pattie Cordova said...

LOL... you made his day!

Laura said...

yeah sorry, I am with Bran.
Now, who the hell paid for those boobs?

Krista said...

Yeah I wanna be friends with your boob financier too!

Brooke said...

The poor pre-pubescent kid at Quiznos was probably exactly the height of your boobs. So as a teen boy, he didn't have much of a choice but to just stare. They were just there and readily available.

However, yes, he should have looked up. But, look at it this way, you probably made his cute little perverted day!! And probably left and told all of his little friends and he was the "cool cat" for the day!

bananas said...

Awww, I miss Brie's boobilicious boobacles.

Steven said...

I was reading along thinking to myself "she must have been wearing a shirt that showed some major clevage." Then your husband's comment confirmed it.
Apparently that young man thought Brie WITH Boobs was BEST! haha.

Adam and Cassie said...

Where did you get them done? I have been thinking about getting some myself. Do you like them? Sorry that's probably an awkward question from someone you don't know but you seem like an awesomely open person so I have to ask.

Sarah said...

I didn't know you had your breasts done! Thanks for sharing w/ the world wide web :) I actually would love to hear more about it but I understand if you don't want to share since your life is so freaking public. Also, your tiny little bump = ADORABLE. I love it. I hope you keep updating us--I adore, ADORE pregnancy and think pregnant women are so beautiful. What an amazing thing!

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

You realize that, thanks to the title, this blog post is going to show up in a LOT of google searches, don't you?

That's not how I found your blog, though.

I promise.

McCall said...

I've never seen pictures of you flaunting those babies (or boobies- however you want to put it!)