Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Worrisome Worries = Worry Lines = Lame

So many worries, so little time! Good thing I’m not anxious at all!!! Let us begin:

WORRY #1 - My prez candidate saying something slightly more embarrassing than your candidate in tonight’s debate.
WORRY #2 - Weight G A I N
WORRY #3 - Moving. And though I am just tickled we will be moving to our own cute little house on the prairie, it’s still stressful. I don’t decorate, I don’t paint. I don’t make things look homey. And I can’t afford an interior decorator. Well, I could sell my body for one, but Big B yelled a big N to the O on that one.
WORRY #4 - Many a worry line was conceived while working. For The Man. Contracting is HARD.
WORRY #5 - Um, our failing economy, anyone? It's hard to process it all, though I hear the words Fanny and Freddy thrown around, as well as douche bag (okay, that might just be me muttering while I’m listening to AM radio) and 700 billion dollars. That’s a lot. And it better work. I don’t want the price of eggs to soar or anything.
WORRY #6 - My child is turning into a meanie weenie. His favorite phrases are STOP IT! No! I don’t like it! and MINE. I don’t know where he learns such things. I know he didn’t learn them from me, because if he were learning words from me, he’d be saying something, like, oh, I don’t know…NIMPLE. (A nipple with a pimple on it. See? Ya’ll just learned a new word!) and my son is not saying that. Brieisms have thankfully and oh so graciously not rolled off his tongue as of yet.
WORRY #7 - Chocolate donuts vs feeding tubes. FYI, the tube will ALWAYS win.
WORRY # 8- Frienship pins coming back into style. Please, please no! I vote that we bring back the BFF necklaces that had like the two half hearts that were torn down the middle, ‘member those? Bom chicka waa waa!
WORRY #9 - This is another that has to do with our little house on the prairie. I seriously have no energy to move. I mean that literally. If I had to move today, I couldn’t. I’d collapse, and, well, probably melodramatically. I think I might have to be on babysitting detail or something and watch The Man while Big B and his brothas move. Although I was hoping to work a little more on my ripped biceps…they need just a titch more work before they'll look exactly like Gillian's on Biggest Loser. She's hottt, btw. I could eat her eyebrows, that's how gorgeous they are.
WORRY #10 - The tube that pretty much takes up my whole face. Racher sent me the photo I posted on my previous blog, only it was for realsies touched up, with no tube at all, and really she’s great. You might not know this, but she re-touches EVERY ONE of my blog pics. I’m not too keen on ya’ll seeing my genital warts. On my face. (!)

Okay, wellsies folks, that’s all the worries for now, at least that my brain can handle at once before it malfunctions of over-worrying. I need to chill or else I’m going to get a whole lotta worry lines on a face that otherwise has no huge problems other than feeding tubes and genital warts. I’ve got a good thing going, and I don’t want to mess it up…

To end on a good note, go check out K’s blog at Spilled Coffee and get involved in the Healthy Models coalition. I’ll be in charge of the blog, once we’re up, (at and as a former model, I feel that I can add a lot of insight and realism to the blog and the site. Healthy models forever! Dying models never!


KC Elaine said...

thanks for the link! I hope your worries ease up...yeah, that's a lot of stuff, and no on the friendship necklaces forever! okay, I'm late to class, gotta run

Starr said...

Where are you moving? I'm hoping it's somewhere close to me! Salt Lake area?!?
So this is a stupid question, but you can't take the tube out at all? I'm uneducated in tubage!
PS what year did you graduate?

Laura said...

Did you get your pin yet?

I had that broken heart necklace...let's wear it..let's bring it back.

I cried last night watching Biggest Loser.

I will help you move, right after I move. And k2 can help us both decorate.

I have more lines in my face than ever. It is a nightmare. ANd today I am a giant ass in a pair of jeans...and I will worry all day about my giant ass and how giant it is, and I dont know how anybody wears jeans and does NOT feel their ass, or think about their ass, all day long. That's my worry. One, among many. My ass. In jeans, I am sure to rip them off before noon.

I modeled once...I was 8 years was for ass had not yet even known of its fantastic potential.

brie said...

Starr, I'm just moving about 4 blocks south - I'll still be in Murray. I can't believe I'm telling the internet universe where I live. What if stalkers are on their way to me??

Also, I used to be able to take my tube out and in nightly (they taught me how so that during the day I wouldn't have to have it) but because I have an NJ tube (meaning the tube is in my small intestines and not tummy) I can't take it out because it takes a live action X ray to place them, and pretty sure I don't have that kind of equipment sitting around my house. :) But don't feel silly for the questions...

And, I graduated in 2002. So, you were a senior when I was a sophomore? Maybe you knew my sister...she graduated in 1998. Her name was Brooke Brown...?

brie said...

Oh and L, haven't recieved my pin yet. I've decided when I get it I'm going to use it to pop my zits. I'll keep you posted. Stay tuned. :)

Good luck with your ass issues today. Maybe you'd benefit from some ass-less jeans? I think you can buy them at racey boutiques!

I wish you luck in your endeavors. :)

PS I have Biggest Loser on my DVR. SO watching it tonight! I love watching em cry!

brie said...

The DOW just dropped 455 POINTS and the NASDAQ 94 points in 20 MINUTES. I guess that solidifies my decision to NOT invest in some egg stocks. It'd probably be safer just to buy chickens. Right?

Starr said...

Whoa, I know your sis. And now that you mention it you guys look a ton alike! I was her friend, I think. Unless I was a total asshole to her, which I tended to be in school. I thought I was the shit!
PS Do you guys all have "B names"?!
Oh, and we should get together sometime. You aren't that far from me. We are more down town, right by Liberty Park.
Stalkers BEWARE... I will kick your ass.

Krystle said...

Your worries are justified, but you will be okay. Brie, you are a lovely, funny, strong woman, and I always love reading your posts, genital warts and all. ;)

Emily said...

Your worries totally make sense! But it will be ok. I didn't know all your pictures are touched up...

I am a huge fan of the HM Coalition! I'm helping K self publish a super long essay she wrote, we're turning it into book format. :) I'm so excited!

Anonymous said...

Not remotely joking. This is not a Mormon "If there is anything I can do..." I will help you move. Tonight, Tomorrow night, Friday night, Saturday morning. But probably not Saturday night. I also have a large, brawny husband-type who could move furniture. I'll even pay him in sexual favors for you. I am horrible with painting, so you are on your own there.

brie said...

emily, you're so awesome for volunteering to help! So, can I count on your for saturday night? ;)

also, i'll be thrilled to have you help as long as *I* can repay your husband with sexual favors. EEEWWW. Did I take it too far? I think it took it too far!

Seriously though, I'll text you. :)

Laura said...

B-you can pop your zits with the pin, but only the ones on your ass. ANd sterilize it first, please.

You know, we were out at a big mall complex in Hollywood, and Annie shouted, "Mom, look at their clothes!" And it was two girls on the escalator wearing ASS-LESS pants! Black leather, with the ass cut out.

Stacy said...

i just wanted to say hi and I totally empathisize with the many worries as of late. I however didn't read other comments and probably missed a lot of what you said. Magnesium really screws with your vision. I hate it. If I lived in UT my baby in utero was being nice I would paint for you. I like painting.
How did your flowers turn out?

Jackie said...

I love you even with genital warts on your face. You should totally be a medical case study - I think you are the first person with genital wart face disease! (P.S. you are full of shit - your face is perfect and you know it!)

H said...

I so don't understand stocks and bonds. Apparently, I had some in my name (from birth I imagine) and my parents "sold them" and I never saw the money. I'm guessing, however, that they used the money for all the dang treatment and hospitalizations I had to have, which, if that's the case, I'm not to put out with it. :) But I so don't understand all those numbers. Remember, I have like a 3rd grade math brain. Seriously, they tested me at the center. Scary.

Just a question....does worrying keep you up at night? I'm just asking cuz that's one of my main problems with my sleep....I end up worrying about everything I can and even can't do and then I never fall asleep. It sucks. There should be a drug for that. Maybe someday.

Anyway, I hope your worries "flit-flight" soon!

- Heth

H said...

"away" I meant, with that last coment. : )

jana bananas said...

OK, now I'm scared to meet your child! Is he going to make me cry?

jana bananas said...

H, there already are great drugs for that...anti-anxiety meds. And sleeping pills.

Ativan + Ambien = YES

Lizzy said...

brie, i love your blog - you are so darling!

Mel said...

hey Brie!
I don't know if you remember me or not- but I was looking up some stuff and came across your blog. Anyway, I was friends with your brother Brandon. (and you were my favorite!) but, it was years ago! Anyway, just thought I'd say hi!

love mel

Keely said...

Whenever I need to move, I have a "moving party" and invite all friends. ALL friends. Then everyone takes a car full of boxes/furniture and we move in ONE day. oh yea! Plus, at the end, we have a bbq in the new place to celebrate/relax :) I will help you move if you need it-but you don't need to have a bbq so I will help. he he!