I’m a Seamstress, Bitches!

Holy oh my moly talk about bi-polar! For how incredibly PISSED I was this morning, this afternoon I’m feeling great. And that is all entirely due to my dear dear husband. After I grumpily blogged this morning, I decided to take a quick break at work and head to the Walmart to comprar some treats and an energy drink to give me an insane high before I crashed a couple hours later. So, I perused the aisles, picked me up some reduced fat Wheat Thins, flavored tootsies (yum yum in my tum!) and a Red Bull, only to get to the register and find that my wallet wasn’t in my purse. Wtf, man? I got to my car and literally started doing this scream/cry/swear thing, (it was reaaaallly intense) and I called Big B, crying and moaning and generally letting him know that I was not a happy camper and that The World hated me. It felt as if I was getting karmically bitch slapped. And it stung.

About 30 minutes later, into my office walks Big B with my energy drink and treats, and a much B I G G E R surprise - A FREAKING SEWING MACHINE! Now, I have decided to cultivate and oh so tenderly nurture the talents within. And, since I have no talents, (within or otherwise) I have decided rather randomly to plunge into the scintillating scene of sewing (alliteration: 3 points! – well, make it 4, since that was a toughie) I have decided that since I have no identity, I’ll try to make up for that by making really cool and superficial and funky and stylish things. So, I was desperately wanting a sewing machine, but they ain’t cheap. And in walks Mr I Buy Sewing Machines Like They’re Candy and rescues my mood and pretty much whole day/life! He had to run back out the door to head to his place of slaving away aka work, and only had time to say, “I’m going to turn this day around for you.” I gave him a big hug and kiss and will contemplate the big s-e-x tonight as well. I mean, a sewing machine? He scratches my back, I’ll scratch his…(so to speak)

On my lunch break I went to B&N and bought a supersuper cool book on sewing. Before you know it I’ll be designing fun things like aprons and stuff, which I will promptly give away because I do not cook! That is a promise my friends.

So, go me for deciding I need to do more in my life than sleep and shop. 3 cheers for me that I’m making an effort to domesticate myself (hey, if dogs can do it, Brie sure can). 3 more cheers for me for solemnly reassuring myself I will never cook, but that sewing aprons is okay as long as I don’t actually wear them. And go Big B for making that happen!