Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I’m a Seamstress, Bitches!

Holy oh my moly talk about bi-polar! For how incredibly PISSED I was this morning, this afternoon I’m feeling great. And that is all entirely due to my dear dear husband. After I grumpily blogged this morning, I decided to take a quick break at work and head to the Walmart to comprar some treats and an energy drink to give me an insane high before I crashed a couple hours later. So, I perused the aisles, picked me up some reduced fat Wheat Thins, flavored tootsies (yum yum in my tum!) and a Red Bull, only to get to the register and find that my wallet wasn’t in my purse. Wtf, man? I got to my car and literally started doing this scream/cry/swear thing, (it was reaaaallly intense) and I called Big B, crying and moaning and generally letting him know that I was not a happy camper and that The World hated me. It felt as if I was getting karmically bitch slapped. And it stung.

About 30 minutes later, into my office walks Big B with my energy drink and treats, and a much B I G G E R surprise - A FREAKING SEWING MACHINE! Now, I have decided to cultivate and oh so tenderly nurture the talents within. And, since I have no talents, (within or otherwise) I have decided rather randomly to plunge into the scintillating scene of sewing (alliteration: 3 points! – well, make it 4, since that was a toughie) I have decided that since I have no identity, I’ll try to make up for that by making really cool and superficial and funky and stylish things. So, I was desperately wanting a sewing machine, but they ain’t cheap. And in walks Mr I Buy Sewing Machines Like They’re Candy and rescues my mood and pretty much whole day/life! He had to run back out the door to head to his place of slaving away aka work, and only had time to say, “I’m going to turn this day around for you.” I gave him a big hug and kiss and will contemplate the big s-e-x tonight as well. I mean, a sewing machine? He scratches my back, I’ll scratch his…(so to speak)

On my lunch break I went to B&N and bought a supersuper cool book on sewing. Before you know it I’ll be designing fun things like aprons and stuff, which I will promptly give away because I do not cook! That is a promise my friends.

So, go me for deciding I need to do more in my life than sleep and shop. 3 cheers for me that I’m making an effort to domesticate myself (hey, if dogs can do it, Brie sure can). 3 more cheers for me for solemnly reassuring myself I will never cook, but that sewing aprons is okay as long as I don’t actually wear them. And go Big B for making that happen!

32 comments:

zubeldia said...

A quick flyby visit, chica. First, you have many facets to your identity which are wonderful and lovely. So there. Second, thank goodness for changing moods. Third, I am really remedial when it comes to anything remotely domestic or crafty... so, good luck. I am extremely impressed just by the idea that you - anyone - can sew.

Love you.

Laura said...

Wow. Can B read MY blog every once in a while, and show up at my house and save ME? Sounds like you have lots to be "UP" about!

Krista said...

Hey I just bought a sewing machine like four weeks ago. I have learned to sew a few things (kid capes that are super easy) and even sold them on ebay! We should have a sewing party.

Nichole said...

That is so exciting for you! Things you should know:
1) Sewing is extrodinarily addictive. Beware.
2) You will now spend all of your free time at the fabric store looking over fun patterns and ideas.
3) JoAnn Fabric is having a monster sale this week. All McCall's Patterns are 99 cents, normally 7-16. This is a huge steal! Plus, most of their fabric is on sale to. I have already gone twice this week.
4) You will desperately want to have a little girl because there are so many adorable things that you can make for them.
Good luck and have fun!

brie said...

Krista OMG are you kidding? I would LOVE to have an amateur sewing party while our men children played! We should set it up!

Nichole, seriously, thanks so much for the suggestions! I'm going to go tonight...

Emily said...

Oh, your husband rocks! I don't sew, and I don't think I ever will, but it'd be a cool hobby to have. I do, however, cook. Being a vegetarian kind of forces you to cook unless you want to subside off of processed food your entire life! :)

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
takeupyourbedandwalk said...

Hey, I've been out of town, and just got back. So I have a lot of catching up to do, but HOORAY for the sewing machine!! :D What a nice guy . . .

Marste

Starr said...

I am sew in the sewing partay! I have wanted to do it forever. I have Mike's Grandma's machine, but it is soooo not portable. I will have to get a portable one and join you guys. I think I love your husband!

H said...

I hate domestic things too, and I most certainly can't sew. The most ironic thing about all this is that I own 3 sewing machines. WHY? Don't know. Over the years people have just "given" me their old ones as they've moved on to new and better ones. So, if I had known your passion for learning to sew, I most definitely would've sent you all 3 of mine! Cuz Lord knows I HATE sewing...knitting, etc. Ick. It reminds me of junior high when I had to sew a pillow in the shape of a jar with a bug in it. WTF????????

KC Elaine said...

have fun!

Mel said...

brie-
you probably don't remember me- i knew you about 10 years ago...andyway i ran itno your blog...i'm so excited you got a sewing machine! i got one about six months ago and i love it!! :) check out this blog- not only does she have awesome aprons, but she also owns color me mine!
love mel

Mel said...

oh whoops- the blog to check out is www.lilatuellerdesigns.blogspot.com

Krista said...

Okay so I suppose you are probably "busy" with B right now, but yeah lets have sewing party. I don't really have a life so I'm pretty free everyday except Tue/Thurs days but I would assume you are at work anyhow. Let me know.

Zena said...

hey Brie,

I have been reading your blog for a while now and I just want to say you are an inspiration! The way you fight all ED (AN) thoughts is amazing...I was talking to my T and I am going to walk around borders to figure out who I am and you know what sewing sounds kinda cool...I want a sewing machine too...lol...I dont want to cook anymore ( to Ed related ) but aprons well thats a great idea...ps C is adorable...I have three of my own and let me say we need to start a AD agency...we'd make a billion!!!

Love, Zena

CookieGirl said...

Aaaa I just did that to my husband the other day, the "crying and moaning and generally letting him know that I was not a happy camper and that The World hated me. It felt as if I was getting karmically bitch slapped..." aaahahaa thank god for understanding husbands.

ania said...

Dear Brie,

I foresee some cray-zee crafts in your future.

It's a Good Thing™.

With encouragement....

greythinking said...

Someone beat me to a Martha Stewart reference. Bummer.

I tried sewing pajamas pants once. I figured there was a lot of room for error.

Good luck with your for-decoration-only aprons.

Laura said...

b-how about curtains fro your new place? VERY easy to do...good beginning project.

Laura said...

OR...you can make the curtains FOR your new place. Fro OR For...you can decide.

Krista said...

L-what's up with the naked jap???

jana bananas said...

Yay for sewing machine! I hope that you have a lot of fun with it. And yay for Big B for surprising you with it like that!

brie said...

L, yeah. I'm gonna go with the FRO. Much cooler.

Laura said...

you'd look great with a fro.
Krista-I am turning Japanese.

Sakura said...

do you like my make up?

kathy with a k said...

Hontouni kandoushita

Savannah said...

Ooooo...I'm excited for you. I know that on God's Green Earth there is no way that I could ever sew. I'm just not talented enough so can I vicariously live through you? Thanks hun :)

I'm glad that your day turned around..I hope it continues through the week. Love ya!

Sakura said...

mulan oragami sakaura mishima sukiaki udon

Krista said...

Konnichiwa ! Thanks for letting us use your blog comments for entertainment.
Sayonara!

kathy with a k said...

umm, Sakura? Mulan is Chinese.

brie said...

Dude. WHAT.IS.UP with the language of Asian all over my comments? Ha ha I don't get it but I love it!

Sushi bento sakura konichiwa. Oh, and chopsticks.

jana bananas said...

And let us not forget...

domo arigato, mr. roboto.