Tuesday, October 14, 2008

HotDoc, PrickDoc, & a Whole Lot More

Okay, so I have been the chairman of the Pity Party Committee for far too long. I’m trying to bounce back, baby. So in an effort to commence the bounce diddy bounce bounce, here goes…

I went and saw Docalicious yesterday, and the dude was so freaking nice to me. Why am I always surprised when MD’s are nice? I think it’s because MD’s are obviously well-trained in the medical aspects of things, and at times emotional issues are harder for them to understand, and anorexia can be especially sucky for them because the mental problemos can cross into physical and medical problemos as well. What a medical conundrum!! I of course in no way am speaking for every doc all over the world, because I have an awesome bro who lives in Germany and is an MD and is always very kind and patient where my ED is concerned, but I guess I assume that Docalicious is going to be frustrated with me and just want to cart me off to the psych ward or something. But psych wards blow. Seriously, the thought of it makes me diarrhea in my mouth.

He took me into his office yesterday when I got there and just wanted to chat and make sure I was okay after Mission: Endure the Hospital. I mentioned vaguely in my last post that my attending physician was a real prick and made me cry…even Docalicious told me that when they were talking on the phone that “the guy was a real jerk,” and he told me that he could handle it, but he said that he knew if he was being a jerk to him he was certainly being a jerk to me, and he felt awful about it. PrickDoc just made me feel like I was wasting his time and that I should gain weight so that he could wash his hands of me. I felt so small when he talked to me, and in general, I likey being small (weight loss, anyone?) but not in the way he did it. He degraded me; he talked to me as if he would a child. Even my mom and Big B noticed. At any rate, it was just nice to be validated by not only Docalicious, but by my mom and B as well, so I knew I wasn’t just being supersensitive, which has def been known to happen on occasion (or, perhaps, like, everyday…)

So I’m getting back into the swing of things. I’m back at work today for the first time in awhile, and I’m doing my best to be chipper and pretend I don’t have a chocolate donut plastered to my tube in my throat. Who knew I’d get to taste the damn thing all day instead of only at breakfast? Sounds like fun, right? Yeah, not as fun as you’d think.

I have therapy tonight, and I was so scared and stressed that I had to accept Mission: Endure the Hospital, that I decided I was going to quit going to my N and my T and I’d be fine because they wouldn’t be telling me I wasn’t fine, and I’d live happily ever after at a size x and be sa-weet and glorious and fabulous and terrifically tiny all the time. But then I remembered that because The World hates me, that’ll never happen. Plus Big B told me that in NO WAY was I to quit the therapy. I’m not sure, but I think my judgment on this may be a bit clouded by, oh, I don’t know, a tube stuck in my throat and a traumatizing hospital stay. Just an idea.

Okay, so for reals SO EXCITED that I get to meet my JB on Friday!!! Who knew a Blog Friend would turn into a real live 3D friend? So cool! Only, if she ends up being a man who has back hair and carries a machete off of the plane, then, well JB, you’ll have to suck it and kill somebody else, okay? I’m just saying.

Totally listening to the AM radio and am waaay sick of the whole presidential race thing. I’m so over it. It’s kind of like the Olympics, when they come, you’re freaking out and all excited and tune in every night, but after awhile you’re kinda ready for them to be over so that you can get back to your regular life. That’s how I feel. 3 weeks from today I will officially procure an I VOTED!!! sticker and be done with it. I have purposely not stated who I want to win, etc etc, because it could get heated, and I am so not the confrontational person. So just vote, okay? America needs you!!! (PS I’m actually kinda fed up with both candidates. If I had my way, I’d vote for Diet Coke. Diet Coke for president! My name is Brie and I approve this message. I’m actually thinking of getting a license plate frame that says just that….)

Okay my DDF’s, I suppose that is all for now. Enjoy your tube-less day, and I will continually enjoy my chocolate donut today, and regretfully, perhaps tomorrow. Although I did just hear a really funny fat joke about the Statue of Liberty, and that is a balm to my soul. A lovely, deep, cleansing balm.

LOVE YOU!!!
PS Did you notice I made my tube almost disappear in my pic? Me loves the wonders of photo fakeness!

17 comments:

Nichole said...

Sorry your MD was such a SOB. My dad is an OB/GYN and I know he doesn't comprehend mental illness very well. He told me that it is hard for him to understand and treat because it is not black and white like most medical things are (he's not a jerk though, he tries to be nice), Anyway, hope things go better for you. Feel free to throw any thoughts you have about any books on that blog at anytime. Also, I have been reading our latest pick and it is a fun easy and interesting read. You might like it, to kill some tube enduring time.
Hope you feel better,
lots of love!

jana bananas said...

You are such the hotness, tube or no tube. I'm glad you're excited about meeting me. Don't worry about my back hair because I shaved it in anticipation for the trip. I'll be all smooth for ya, baby.

Tanya said...

Brie, you are so awesome. You amaze me, you really do. You are strong. I know you don't see it but you are. Prick doctors and nurses piss me off so much of the time. Ugh...I am so glad you have a doc who is awesome and seems to understand that your human. Hugs. Things will get better, they have to. Huggles.

Jenn said...

Chocolate Donuts all day long? Think of it as a super-challenge day (or two...)! Love you Brie!

Emily said...

Ew. I would hate to have the taste of chocolate donuts in my mouth all day! I like them, but all day would be far too much. I hope someday we will meet, brie. We've been friends a long time and I would love to make the friendship 3D!

ania said...

Dear Brie,

Just keep hanging in there.

(Yes, I am aware that my comment registers at the equivalent of arctic levels on the originality meter.)

With encouragement and care....

Keely said...

(hug) keep on chuggin. At first I was thinking of the train that thinks he can, but then I thought of chugging boost... oh well. :)

racher said...

i'm voting for dr. pepper and i plan to confront you on this issue.

Laura said...

DC has my vote (and yeah, um, enough with the political talk everyone...I am right there with ya)

and I did not even notice your tube until you mentioned it! Had to scroll back up to take another look.

gotta go make a friendship pin....

kathy with a k said...

Damn. I switched to Diet Pepsi. It's all about the packaging. I'm shallow that way.

H said...

I too would vote for Diet Coke. : )

jana bananas said...

Sorry, toots. I'm voting for Coke Zero.

Jackie said...

WOO HOO can't wait for our hot lesbian weekend with JB! And you have my vote for Diet Coke!

Penny said...

Enjoyed it all my dear. Your gift is to write and then how wonderful if you could live your new reality that you just described... If you see the bright side and help us comprehend it, then it will be true for you and you can live it too.(I'm thinking choco donuts and D C for prez.) You placed many smiles on my face as I read the blog. Thanks for that as i needed it tonight

CookieGirl said...

so glad to hear you sounding chipper!! Sadly my new psychiatrist is in no way docalicious, and I am jealous. sigh

zubeldia said...

I have a pretty delicious doc - not delicious in the conventional sense, but I would for sure pursue this guy if a) I was not married to the very delicious Mr.Z (I really married up when it comes to looks) and b) he was not blissfully married to his Harvard sweetheart.

But prick docs... What a shame. I'm currently teaching a bunch of pre-med students and half of them are bloody awful and I despair that they will become the future 'healers'. Fortunately there are some great docs out there.. phew.

Brie, Brie, I know this sucks, I do, I know that none of this is easy, none of it is fun, and none of it likely seems important - but this is your road to a better life, my girl. I believe that strongly.

Love you, poppet.

brie said...

Pretty sure Diet Coke wins the election for Prez. And if it doesn't, I'll rig the polls since it's my blog anyway. Also JB, you're HIGH if you think Coke Zero could win. Boo!!