HotDoc, PrickDoc, & a Whole Lot More

Okay, so I have been the chairman of the Pity Party Committee for far too long. I’m trying to bounce back, baby. So in an effort to commence the bounce diddy bounce bounce, here goes…

I went and saw Docalicious yesterday, and the dude was so freaking nice to me. Why am I always surprised when MD’s are nice? I think it’s because MD’s are obviously well-trained in the medical aspects of things, and at times emotional issues are harder for them to understand, and anorexia can be especially sucky for them because the mental problemos can cross into physical and medical problemos as well. What a medical conundrum!! I of course in no way am speaking for every doc all over the world, because I have an awesome bro who lives in Germany and is an MD and is always very kind and patient where my ED is concerned, but I guess I assume that Docalicious is going to be frustrated with me and just want to cart me off to the psych ward or something. But psych wards blow. Seriously, the thought of it makes me diarrhea in my mouth.

He took me into his office yesterday when I got there and just wanted to chat and make sure I was okay after Mission: Endure the Hospital. I mentioned vaguely in my last post that my attending physician was a real prick and made me cry…even Docalicious told me that when they were talking on the phone that “the guy was a real jerk,” and he told me that he could handle it, but he said that he knew if he was being a jerk to him he was certainly being a jerk to me, and he felt awful about it. PrickDoc just made me feel like I was wasting his time and that I should gain weight so that he could wash his hands of me. I felt so small when he talked to me, and in general, I likey being small (weight loss, anyone?) but not in the way he did it. He degraded me; he talked to me as if he would a child. Even my mom and Big B noticed. At any rate, it was just nice to be validated by not only Docalicious, but by my mom and B as well, so I knew I wasn’t just being supersensitive, which has def been known to happen on occasion (or, perhaps, like, everyday…)

So I’m getting back into the swing of things. I’m back at work today for the first time in awhile, and I’m doing my best to be chipper and pretend I don’t have a chocolate donut plastered to my tube in my throat. Who knew I’d get to taste the damn thing all day instead of only at breakfast? Sounds like fun, right? Yeah, not as fun as you’d think.

I have therapy tonight, and I was so scared and stressed that I had to accept Mission: Endure the Hospital, that I decided I was going to quit going to my N and my T and I’d be fine because they wouldn’t be telling me I wasn’t fine, and I’d live happily ever after at a size x and be sa-weet and glorious and fabulous and terrifically tiny all the time. But then I remembered that because The World hates me, that’ll never happen. Plus Big B told me that in NO WAY was I to quit the therapy. I’m not sure, but I think my judgment on this may be a bit clouded by, oh, I don’t know, a tube stuck in my throat and a traumatizing hospital stay. Just an idea.

Okay, so for reals SO EXCITED that I get to meet my JB on Friday!!! Who knew a Blog Friend would turn into a real live 3D friend? So cool! Only, if she ends up being a man who has back hair and carries a machete off of the plane, then, well JB, you’ll have to suck it and kill somebody else, okay? I’m just saying.

Totally listening to the AM radio and am waaay sick of the whole presidential race thing. I’m so over it. It’s kind of like the Olympics, when they come, you’re freaking out and all excited and tune in every night, but after awhile you’re kinda ready for them to be over so that you can get back to your regular life. That’s how I feel. 3 weeks from today I will officially procure an I VOTED!!! sticker and be done with it. I have purposely not stated who I want to win, etc etc, because it could get heated, and I am so not the confrontational person. So just vote, okay? America needs you!!! (PS I’m actually kinda fed up with both candidates. If I had my way, I’d vote for Diet Coke. Diet Coke for president! My name is Brie and I approve this message. I’m actually thinking of getting a license plate frame that says just that….)

Okay my DDF’s, I suppose that is all for now. Enjoy your tube-less day, and I will continually enjoy my chocolate donut today, and regretfully, perhaps tomorrow. Although I did just hear a really funny fat joke about the Statue of Liberty, and that is a balm to my soul. A lovely, deep, cleansing balm.

LOVE YOU!!!

PS Did you notice I made my tube almost disappear in my pic? Me loves the wonders of photo fakeness!