Thursday, March 20, 2008

A Mystic? Or Mystically Ridiculous?

I had an interesting encounter today. I was at the bakery, minding my own business, when an older looking woman in a muumuu asked me if I was a Capricorn.

"Um…no?" I told her. Why, are Capricorns supposed to be tall, dark, and handsome? Because then yes, I should be!

"Are you sure?" She asks.

I’m getting a little weirded out. I mean, I’m an adult, right? I have no apparent IQ or learning disabilities at first glance. I think. So why shouldn’t I know my own astrological sign? "Yeah, I’m a Leo," I tell her, trying, but failing, to smile. I end up giving her one of my nervous smiles.

"Step aside here, please. I’d really like to give you your fortune. You'll be interested in hearing this."

WTF?! I am not a believer in horoscopes and fortune-telling. Well, unless it’s one of those coin-operated fortune-tellers like they have in the movie Big. Then I’m a believer, because that movie was really cool. Is she going to tell me I'm going to die because I'm not a Capricorn? Or that thankfully, because I'm not, I'll be spared and live a full and happy and complete life with a handful of kids and a dog named Bluebell? I don't want to hear bad news. I don't even want to hear good news from a woman who asks random people for their fortune. I start to wonder if there's a hidden camera somewhere, and people are having a hearty laugh at my expense. I decide not to stick around to find out.

I’m shifting uncomfortably, and suddenly I feel guilty for not being a Capricorn. "No, thanks, I need to go." Another nervous smile.

And I walked out that door without even getting my roll with honey butter. How did I let an old muumuu wearing fortune-teller run me out of a bakery?

Because she was creepy as hell, that’s why.

12 comments:

Jodi said...

What the? Who does that?

Laurie and Corey Kunz said...

are you for real?
You have the most interesting life i swear.
What bakery was this?

brie said...

Yeah, I'm totally for real. I'm thinking she wanted money from me.

Tanya said...

Agh...I agree. She was probably some kind of con artist or something. That is just too weird.

Just crazy...

Abby said...

Brie, I have to confess something: I've taken to checking your blog not just daily but somewhat in excess of that. I just don't want to wait any longer than necessary to read the latest installment, okay? As for this woman, what is she doing in Utah? She'd probably fit in way better around here. I'll give her credit, though, for actually trying to guess your astrological sign rather than just asking you what it is and then saying, "That's just what I was thinking!" I mean, if you're a really bad mystic, there's no point in trying to hide it, right?

Emily said...

How strange... that's just weird. I've had weird people come into work, but nobody as odd as that. Many were creepier, but none as odd as your fortuneteller!

[Contemplative?] Angela said...

That's so freaky and awesome. I totally wish it would have happened to me. Best story ever.

P.S. Go to this website right now:

catsthatlooklikehitler.com

brydelle said...

Sorry, that was me just now. I was logged into a friend's name. Whoops. . .

KC Elaine said...

wowzers. I would have left too. Someone tried to read my friend's fortune in Hong Kong and wanted money. kinda sketch, stay far away!

I do hope you got your bread and butter somewhere else though.

aLana said...

wow. what a nutjob! props on walking out but bummer that you didn't get to have your roll! ps...leos of the world unite! :)

Paige said...

Yeah, she probably wanted money, I'm glad you ran away!

PS- a manly playdate sometime sounds fun!

Bowles Family said...

Wow. Totally bizarre. I would have had a hard time not being rude, but mostly because it would make me so uncomfortable to have a stranger take such an interest in me. Good call running off. Who knows what she would have said.