The newest member of our family has arrived! Meet Mrs. Peterson. Isn’t she beautiful? I love to ride her, and oh, how she loves to be ridden! She’s chicly old-fashioned, and is the most glorious piece of metal I’ve ever laid eyes or hands or butt on. And don’t ask me why she’s married, or whom she’s married to. I do not know these things. I only know we are in love. She’s a bit naked, but I will be pimping her out this weekend with a basket and a bike horn. I’d also like to find tassels to hang from her handlebars, but is that too flashy? Will she come across as a slut? I’m not sure of these things!
I must admit I’m having a really salacious time telling people I’m going out to “ride Mrs. Peterson.” But I’m weak for a sex joke. I can’t helps it. I’m also grateful to her because, rumor has it, she’ll be saving my lungs in dire need of exercise and strength. And if ya have to exercise, you might as well do it while pimped out in pink and hotness - at least, that’s what my grandma always used to say.
So, whaddya think? Isn’t she a beut?!
PS Her seat needs to be raised. I look a bit like an overgrown child on a midget pony. Not the image I was going for, exactly.