Friday, November 11, 2011

Commemorating Conundrum

What is everybody up to this weekend?  I don't have much going on, and with tomorrow being The Anniversary, I am nervous not having any plans, because I'm worried I'll get really sad and somber and just down; I wish I had something to do to keep me occupied.  It's hard not having a grave I can put flowers on or any photos to look back on for memories - all I have are blurry ultrasound photos and the remembrance of her movements inside me.  I want to remember Kendall, but I don't know how to.  I wrote her a letter, and I thought about sharing it here on my blog, but in the end decided not to, because it is extremely raw and extremely personal. just feels wrong to pretend like it is any other day and not do anything to respect and commemorate her.  I just don't know what to do.  :/

...It seems everybody that's cool these days in Blog Land is signing off with a cute little signature.  I was kind of jels looking at everybody else's, so I decided to make one of my own.  Don't know if it'll last, but I'm kind of a fad girl, so I'll go with it.


Danielle C. said...

looove love it! its like mine. "xoxo/Danielle"
ps you always write so well. :)

Kenzi said...

hey brie. about not having a grave to put flowers on, what about going to murray park (where you did the memorial letting go of the balloon for her) and putting flowers by a tree or the gazebo there or letting them float away down the river. Or you could send off another balloon for her. I'm not saying spend the whole day thinking about what happened and not doing anything to commemorate it would be fine as well. I just know That if I were in your position I think it would help me to have something to do in her memory, mourn her while you put the flowers don or send off a balloon etc, and then get on with the rest of my day. Just an idea. Love you girl. Hang in there

Erin said...

I guess I'm uncool, as I do not have a sig...

Sent you a brief email just to let you know that Kendall is very much in my thoughts today (as are you).

firefly said...

Hey Bri: I don't post sign in often but had to on this one. What did you end up doing for Kendall? I understand the not having a spot part. Today was supposed to be the 5th birthday of a little girl that I grew to love like family. The grandparents decided to cremate and I guess they have her at least but for me there was no spot to go to. The whole thing feels numb like it didn't happen because I didn't see her after.
I just took balloons to the beach and although I should have been happy cried.
Kendall will always be a part of your family. You can tell your kids that they have a sibling in heaven looking down helping them. Hugs!!!!