Saturday, December 15, 2007

Hey, Senior Citizens! Off The Road!

I just got plowed into last night by a senior citizen. (Don't worry. If you're on the verge of panic, concerned about how I am, rest assured that I'm absolutely fine aside from the anger boiling around inside me, giving me diarrhea). Now, when I say "plowed into," I mean in my car, by theirs. He didn't run me over with his walker or anything. But I digress.

Now, maybe this wouldn't be so terribly awful, except for the fact that a mere two weeks ago, the exact same thing happened to me! And guess who happened to be driving the other vehicle you may wonder?
Yes! A senior citizen!

You may be grateful to know that I've decided that I'm not completely against our friendly old folks on the road, because who else is going to keep Denny's and matinee movies in business? Nah, they just need to follow one simple rule:

When you see, say, a sign that says 65 MPH, that's how fast you're supposed to go. That isn't how many minutes it'll take you to get to your destination - although, that can be quite accurate when you're crawling along at 20 MPH or so. So read the signs! You may not be in any hurry to get to the breakfast buffet, but most of us usually need to get to our particular destination before the Ides of March or noon, whichever comes first.
Now that isn't so hard, is it?
Oh wait.
There's one more rule, the cardinal rule, the rule to end all rules, the rule that if you're only going to obey one rule, it'll be this rule:

(Although, to your credit, you seem to have great insurance, which is a bonus. Thanks for that).


KC Elaine said...

oh my! did you get hit? you always make me laugh

Tanya said...

ICK, I agree that most seniors should be taking some special senior transport system. Something that does door to door though because they shouldn't be exposed to the germs on a regular bus. Mostly its their slowness that makes them hazerdous that and the fact that they have slow reaction times. I hope it works out. At least with the insurance being good things should be okay. HUgs. take care.

Paige said...

Geesh! I'm sorry you got hit! I am a horrible driver right now, with all my faculties, so I promise you I will not be going anywhere near a driver's seat when I'm a Senior.

Larvin & Ashley said...

It is good to hear from you. Me and Laurie met in our first ward as newly weds. Now we are best friends. She is practically my sister. Especially since she looks like us. I hope everything is going well and I look forward to keeping in touch with ours blogs. Merry Christmas!

Bowles Family said...

holy crap this is such a funny post. you crack me up. i'm sorry you got hit, that totally sucks, but like you say, they at least have good insurance. PS-have you read or heard any of steve colberts "I am America and so can you"? Check out his chapter about senior citizens. very funny.